


Unclean Spirit

by FireFleshAndBlood



Category: Death Note
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Blood Drinking, Creepy, Folklore, Forced Marriage, Horror, M/M, Mild Gore, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-11
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-05-06 02:23:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 22
Words: 56,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5399312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FireFleshAndBlood/pseuds/FireFleshAndBlood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Kira case has been solved but certain threads have been left hanging. A newly formed vampire Light must team up with L to try and find the answer to his untimely demise in the Kira case's missing evidence. Unfortunately for both of them, this doesn't go as planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Living Dead

**Author's Note:**

> After having a terrible summer I was in an awful funk so I wrote this fanfic to help cheer myself up since nothing else was going very well. I always wanted to write something for Death Note so this vampire AU was born. Though some things concerning this AU are left intentionally mysterious, I'd like you all to try and figure out where it's going yourself. I can't promise the thrills and chills of canon but I can promise to give you a pretty good ride if you stick with me until the end.
> 
> Warnings: vampirism, blood drinking, blood, non-con, dub-con, suicide attempt (very lightly)

The Living Dead

 

I

 

The neighbourhood was well kept, trees and flowers bloomed along the short stone walls that marked each individual yard. Summer was fading and in its place a chill was beginning to fill the air. An old man was outside watering persimmon trees, hoping for a good harvest come fall. He still gave the stranger an odd look. The young man that walked along the road had his hands in his pockets and moved at the rate of a snail. His black hair was a mess, eyes heavily shadowed from lack of sleep. While slouching pitifully, his thumb was stuck in his mouth.

 

He was thinking.

 

The house had a clearly marked nameplate, the door was easily seen from the well kept path covered in flowering shrubs. Ominously, there was a trail of chrysanthemum petals that had yet to be swept away that led into the back yard.

 

On the wall of the house was an electronic bell that dinged when the young man's spindly finger was pushed solidly against it. In a few minutes an older woman answered. Her face was soft but slightly aged, her body the kind that affluent housewives often possessed. But her eyes were hollow, wet and frightened.

 

“I'm a friend of Yagami Light.”

 

The dead pan voice was met with a deafening silence. She stared at him, eyes wide like a dead fish.

 

“I'm coming in,” the man said, shuffling past her awkwardly into the entryway.

 

The shoes were kicked off at the door and tumbled down the steps in a loud thud, the woman raced to pick them up and put them on the shelf.

 

The young man supposed it was normal, the shock of it all did that to some people. Moving through the house, he took note of its state. It was spotlessly clean and uninteresting. In the tatami room off the kitchen, the butsudan was open and an attractive young man's picture was poised on its edge, wreathed in black ribbon. Incense hung heavy in the air and vases of chrysanthemums were piled around it. There was also a single vase in the corner of the room; shattered. As though someone had thrown it and for whatever reason, cleaning it up was neglected.

 

“Is Yagami-san at home?” he turned to the woman.

 

“W-why,” she stammered, suddenly regaining speech, “who are you? He's resting, upstairs.”

 

“Ryuuzaki,” he said, “we worked together on the task force. Although I understand Yagami-san has recently suffered a heart attack, there is a matter I must speak to him about. It's about his son-”

 

A single, wretched noise echoed from her mouth but was quickly squashed by her clasped hands. She could only nod her head, anything more and the cry would have burst out with all a mother's sorrow.

 

“Upstairs?” Ryuuzaki asked.

 

She nodded, tears beginning to fall from her eyes.

 

Quietly he made his way to Yagami-san's room, asked some questions and then went to the place he had been directed to.

 

“Open the door to the attic in the spare room,” Yagami-san had said, his face pale and drawn against the warm white sheets of his sick room, “he's in the coffin on the far end. I think he's trying to commit suicide.”

 

It would have been more appropriate if Ryuuzaki had been told to enter an old cellar or a crypt. He supposed the Londoner and the droning Victorian script of Dracula were hard to get out of his system, despite the realities he had been faced with. Japanese homes also tended not to have cellars because of earthquakes and they tended to cremate their dead, unless they got back up after dying.

 

The closet in the spare room was opened and Ryuuzaki climbed the ladder, one rung slowly at a time, his bare feet curling.

 

In the dim and dappling sunlight he could see a great many boxes, some dust and then from a tiny open sky hatch on the other side, a smattering of chrysanthemum petals spread out around the ground. The wind must have carried them in from the backyard. Ryuuzaki followed the trail until he found what he was looking for.

 

It was a coffin. Japanese style, with the little doors on the front. Hesitating, wondering how to approach in the least jarring manner, efficiency won out and he knocked on the doors firmly.

 

“ _Go away.”_

 

It was muffled and very thick, but a coherent voice still uttered from the coffin which was a very good sign.

 

“There are questions I need answered,” Ryuuzaki intoned, “you're the only one who was involved in the Kira investigation as an outsider and the only known victim who is still alive, in a manner of speaking.”

 

The hatch opened suddenly revealing a single red, glowing eye.

 

“What part of _leave_ didn't you understand?”

 

The chrysanthemum petals suddenly turned brown and ashen and the atmosphere of the room deteriorated to the point Ryuuzaki braced himself by firmly gripping the floor. It was so strong that if Ryuuzaki hadn't experienced this kind of thing before, he would have fled the attic in terror without giving his questions a second though. Crushing down his fear firmly, he faced the young man in the coffin.

 

“Yagami Light,” Ryuuzaki intoned, “your family is in mourning and your life has been reduced to sitting in a coffin waiting to starve to death. My offer comes as not only a necessity but a way to alleviate your sorrows. Please drink my blood so we can finish the investigation together.”

 

The little doors snapped shut. Ryuuzaki ripped them open.

 

“Yagami Light!” Ryuuzaki said, loudly, “Please drink my blood!”

 

The noise of frustration coming from the coffin was satisfying, along with the pair of angry eyes that glared sharply at him.

 

“What the hell is wrong with you! I can't tell you anything, my memories were -they were destroyed! Go away and let me die in peace.”

 

It was hissed wretchedly from behind long, honey coloured bangs. They looked a little ragged and lank but that was to be expected because Yagami Light was dead.

 

“Kira took everything from you,” Ryuuzaki said, “even the circumstances of your death. Isn't that a terrible indignity to suffer? Drink my blood, so we can find him and finish this investigation.”

 

“Who are you?” Light said.

 

“Drink my blood,” he insisted, “because _I am L_.”

 

Removing a scalpel from his pocket L made a tiny cut on his wrist. There was a quiet in the attic that resembled as if all the movement and life in the room had suddenly died. The coffin shifted and its pine lid was lifted up. The young man who crept forward was gaunt and thin, he didn't quite look human. His familiar honey coloured hair and brown eyes had become haggard and worn into a ghastly countenance that looked neither alive or dead.

 

With supernatural speed, he crawled forward. His funeral kimono billowed out around him and his fangs gleamed. Light's eyes were a glowing red. Fiercely he bit into L's proffered wrist.

 

Fighting the animal urge to tear his arm away from a predator's mouth, L winced as the creature drank its fill while a strange, numb feeling crept into his limbs. It took somewhere between 10-15 seconds to begin feeling the soporific effects of a vampire's bite and suddenly, without warning L keeled over and incidentally released his arm from the vampire's lips. He could feel the large fangs slip from his flesh like an IV being painfully pulled from his veins.

 

The leaden sensation in his limbs and relaxing feelings had congealed into an erection, which was not unusual when dealing with vampires. L squeezed his thighs together and took some deep breaths, soon he'd be under control again. It was a reasonable sacrifice.

 

“That was incredibly stupid,” Yagami Light hissed, “I could have killed you. There wouldn't have been anyone to stop me!”

 

Blood spattered in tiny drops all over floor. While the loss wasn't insignificant it wouldn't require hospital treatment but a day or two of rest. The bite on his wrist hurt but Light's saliva had sufficiently stopped him from bleeding out. Death from being fed on casually by a vampire was rare enough to risk it.

 

“Do you believe me?” L asked.

 

There was a pause, L let his eyes wander up the pale legs to the white kimono. If only it were open a little more at this angle he could see up past those fine legs.

 

“Yes,” Light said, “the memories are accurate. And I'm beginning to think you're a pervert.”

 

The vampire's bite had other effects, like granting the vampire insight into the victim's surface personality and memories. L had been thinking very closely of the Kira case and certain details only the task force would know. Some other things were unfortunately bound to slip through.

 

“Light-kun makes a very attractive corpse,” L said.

 

Light's eyes narrowed, they were a much more appealing looking brown after he had fed.

 

“What exactly do you want from me? I was asked questions already by members of the task force when I came home from the morgue. They took my statements, there wasn't much I could give.”

 

“I'm looking for a connection,” L said, “the one who stole your memories is undoubtedly Kira and I would like to finish this case to my satisfaction. To do that there is certain information in places that I cannot go. Since Light was connected to the early investigation and is himself, technically deceased and fortunately for everyone involved also a vampire, we can work together. There's even a possibility Light's memories might be restored to him.”

 

“I'd like to know who was responsible for my death,” Light said, shrewdly, “anyone would.”

 

“Technically within the rules of vampire society, I'm your thrall. I can follow you anywhere,” L extended his hand, “help me up. My legs are jelly.”

 

Light looked at him as though he were suggesting the truly preposterous.

 

“In public please address me as Ryuuzaki to uphold my false identity,” L said, “despite the fact that all activities of Kira have ceased, I'd rather not take any chances.”

 

“Agreed,” Light said, offering his hand.

 

With a grunt, L hoisted himself up and noticed that Light's hand was a little warmer. He still appeared corpse like, it was a misnomer that normal people found vampires physically attractive as they were still dead bodies propelled by supernatural means. It was actually their glamour that drew their victims in, the subtle softening of all their gruesome details in a subconsciously projected halo. Light was a dead man and despite his beauty while being alive, the way the blood pooled under his eyes in a blue shadow and the stiffness of his movements belied something more unsettling than appealing. His skin though more flushed after a feeding was still terminally pale and limpid, approaching a pale, sickly green hue under the porcelain pretentions.

 

“We'll have to go the vampire health centre,” L said, “have you kept the literature they gave you?”

 

“It's in my room,” Light said, with a beat of hesitation.

 

“Let's go find a family member and open your room again,” L said.

 

They crept down the attic ladder one by one and Light looked longingly at the door to his room. A priest had purified it by sticking amulet papers all over it, practically gluing the door shut. It was tradition, in case the vampire coming back to the family had problems.

 

“They look pretty amateur,” L said, conversationally, “but let's get it opened all the same.”

 

“Light!” a young woman's voice said, choked and pained.

 

Sayu had been in the bathroom and had just exited to see her dead brother walking around again. She had clutched her hands to her mouth but her eyes were wide open, her expression somewhere between horror and fascination.

 

“Sayu,” Light said, sweetly, “can you open my door for me?”

 

She turned her head away, as though she couldn't stand to see her brother's dead face.

 

“I'm sure it's quite safe,” L prompted, “no one's going to attack you.”

 

Inching her way around the hall, which was quite a feat as it was extremely small, she managed to reach Light's door without getting too close to her brother.

 

“Use this,” L said, handing her his scalpel.

 

It was a bit blood spattered and she stared at it for a second as if she couldn't fathom how to use it but in the end, dutifully sliced down the side of the amulets. As the door was opened, Sayu gathered her courage and managed to utter a question.

 

“You're not going to kill yourself?,” she said, her words trembling.

 

“Not in the near future,” Light said, giving her an encouraging smile.

 

She nodded her head once.

 

“That's-that's good. It would be a waste, besides vampires don't get to go to heaven only-” her voice shook so badly she couldn't finish.

 

“It could be worse,” L said, flatly.

 

Trembling with tears still streaming down her face she stumbled downstairs, still acting as if in a daze.

 

“It's open,” L said, shoving his way in past Light.

 

“Really,” Light said, annoyed, “this is my room and last I checked, you don't have a warrant.”

 

“Surely, Light-kun has nothing to hide. Besides, you're dead,” L said, smiling, “nothing bad can be done to your personal rights.”

 

Shuffling around the room, L took in its immaculate shape. Bed neatly made, books stacked and desk cleared. Everything was organized perfectly, though a small rucksack had been placed by the bed and the closet was half open.

 

“Did we-,” Light said hesitantly, “know each other?”

 

“Yes,” L said, “but your memories of that time are likely erased. We worked together to find Kira, until you died. It was unfortunate, no one had any idea you'd return from the dead so no preparations were made concerning that event.”

 

“I barely knew who I was when I woke up, I was delirious, ranting nonsense,” Light said quietly, he sat heavily on his bed, “afterwards, when I recovered enough to make sense of the situation, the hospital morgue sent me home with pamphlets and a pat on the head. I was perfectly healthy for a vampire, I just didn't remember anything.”

 

The pamphlets laid scattered on the desk, L curiously picked on up with his thumb and index finger.

 

“These are cute, they have funny titles” he said, “since Light-kun is intending to stay alive, perhaps he should read them.”

 

“They'll be going over them at the center, it's mandatory,” Light said, snatching them from L's hands.

 

“Light-kun can change,” L said, “I'll turn around and promise I won't look.”

 

“We're both men,” Light snapped, and began shucking his funeral clothes without a care.

 

L had still dutifully turned around.

 

“Why didn't you have a hat?” L asked.

 

“A what?” Light said, the sound of pants being zipped up followed.

 

“A tenkan, why weren't you wearing it?” L said, “Do they give vampires posthumous names? Should I call you something else?”

 

The closet door opened and shut, some drawers were opened then closed.

 

“We don't go to heaven,” Light snapped, “didn't you hear Sayu? Vampires go straight to hell when they die a second time. There's no tenkan because we're accursed beings and a posthumous name is for people ascending beyond earth not the living dead.”

 

“Light-kun has read the pamphlets,” L said.

 

“I'm ready,” Light said.

 

If he had been the type, L would have been attacked by a fit of nostalgia. Light was dressed in his khakis and green sweater, the same one he had worn the very day L had begun investigating him. Granted, Light hadn't known that at the time since the image of his room had been projected on a wall of monitors in a secret hotel room.

 

“I hope Light-kun regains his memories soon,” L said, with a wry smile.

 

Light looked at him strangely, the tone he had used may have been a bit dubious. It didn't matter anyway, soon L would get his evidence and then the Kira case would be officially complete.

 

He was looking forward to the resolution.

 

 


	2. Misa Misa's Vampire Beginners Guide

 

 

_**Yay! You woke up!** _

 

_**Congratulations!** _

 

_**Let Misa Misa guide you towards happiness in the form of an undead!** _

 

_Vampire Beginners Guide_

 

 II

 

_**Misa Misa hopes this informational packet and the others that follow will assist you in enjoying a pleasant undead experience. If you have any questions, feel free to contact your local vampire centre if your sire or ancient are not available. Please take the time to read through all information in these pamphlets beforehand to avoid embarrassment if your question has already been answered.** _

 

_**Good luck, New Vampire-san!** _

 

_**Vampire Rules** _

 

_No killing people unless it's an accident! Thralls are plentiful, there are benefits to a vampire friendship like money, safety and other things so they'll be lining up in no time! Despite having a population of 127.3 million in Japan there are only around 1 million registered vampires which means resources are plentiful, don't worry if you begin poor, time is on your side and you'll be rolling in it in no time. Ancients will provide you with food at first until you learn how to get your own without hurting anyone. So no worries._

 

_**First step** _

 

_After you're finished at the center, you must report to your sire and your ancient. If you can't find your sire, an ancient will do. The vampire centre will do everything it can to reasonably place you with someone who can help you get on your feet. Do not attempt to live as a vampire on your own! It's very dangerous and there are bad vampires who won't hesitate to kill you and try and take your stuff!_

 

_**Help Check! Reminders!** _

 

_Ancients, elders and adults are the only people capable of making fully fledged vampires. Sometimes a person will be bitten and rise from the dead but that's comparatively rare. It's safe to say 99% of all vampires alive today were intentional, though the victim might not always remember being bitten or even in the presence of a vampire. That's why it's important to quickly visit your local vampire centre and get a blood test to discover who made you. This will explain to you where you should locate your home base, unfortunately it means if you live in Tokyo and your maker lives in Osaka, you will essentially be forced to move to Osaka. Just think of it as a job transfer and it should be easier to accept!_

 

_Visit your maker and then make your way together to your regional ancient for money, shelter and rations to begin your life as an undead. Then when everything is settled, you may want to interact with your living family._

 

_Family_

 

_There are benefits to having a living family. For one, this means you have access to a family shrine. If your family isn't of the Buddhist or Shinto religions, ask for a different spirit pamphlet from the centre. **Point check!** If you're in a position without family who will help you or if you're an atheist without any particular spiritual beliefs at home, approach your ancient as they will help settle your name plate in a local temple. _

 

_Family Shrine_

 

_The name plate (the wooden plaque with your name and death age) will likely be encased in a family shrine or kept in the family home. These are important items as they can be used to give vampires a much needed boost through their long lives. Japan is a country that believes in ancestor worship so having a name plate is a very good thing and is likely to far outlast surviving family in a temple. Most families will have a bustudan or other set up for your memorial. It's good to have family accept your life is over, even if it seems a little awkward to let them have your death portrait up on the shrine for a while when you're up and moving around. Everything will be easier in the long run and they'll feel less weird burning incense in front of it._

 

_**Point check!** You can't trick your family! The vampire's natural glamour that makes them seem alluring and mysterious despite being icky and dead fades to nothing in front of people who know you very well. Best friends, family and close co-workers will be very aware you're deceased and may react badly. Be prepared for the worst! While trying to kill a vampire is illegal that doesn't mean people who are very distressed won't try it. A stake through the heart may not kill you but it will hurt. Badly._

 

_Funeral_

 

_Why all the fuss about a funeral? Vampires aren't even really dead, right? This is why! Burning things is an ancient tradition all over the world. People light candles, burn joss papers and incense to pay homage to the dead. Vampires since they're dead, receive some of this fiery spiritual power over their lives but ~only~ if their burial customs have been fulfilled. People with cross cultural traditions can become easily confused about what to do to satisfy their needs, get your ancient to help you. Their power extends to sorting out complicated spirit business. Burning incense will help you feel better, less dead and more involved with the living. Your thralls can do it too! It's fun when someone is there to cheer you on, get them to try it and see how much better you feel!_

 

_Vampire Ranks_

 

_All vampires begin with a rank at the lowest. Vampires are ranked according to age and no other distinguishing characteristics. If you're a newbie, you may find ancient vampires difficult to understand as they are far removed from what normal people would consider human behaviour and have their own cultures and customs from olden times. The rank is from order top to bottom._

 

_Vampire Ancient 3000+ yrs_

 

_Vampire Elder 2000+ yrs_

 

_Vampire Adult 1000+ yrs_

 

_Vampire Youth 500+ yrs_

 

_Vampire Child 100+ yrs_

 

_Vampire Infant -100 yrs_

 

 

_The right to kill is only awarded Vampire Ancients who are allowed to determine who is and isn't justified to exist in their specific areas. Most ancients are fairly reasonable as they have a long history of governing and simply want everyone to live peacefully. If there is a problem with a vampire ancient it will often take another ancient to sort things out, so don't attempt to problem solve if you're a newbie! Go to someone higher than you. All ancients report to a 100yrs meeting to sort out disputes if they become serious. Consider them like your parents, they'll protect you until you can grow up and be on your own. Sometimes an elder will take the place of an ancient if no one suitable is up to being elected but usually these vampires run a pretty tight ship._

 

_**Point check tip!** Don't worry about asking ancients too many questions; it will save you trouble! They're trained in all sorts of matters and it's better to ask first before making a big mistake that requires a lot of work to fix later. _

 

_Vampire Trait_

 

_Owing to the fact vampires are dead, are not technically human and are classified as a type of yokai it's no surprise that certain divisions are a bit different than normal humans. Your vampire centre officer will be able to define your vampire 'trait' for you. It's really no one's business but your own and your ancient's, so no need to share it with anyone else. It's also considered quite rude to ask!_

 

_There are three specific types; Haji, Sue and Haniwa._

 

_If you are Haji, you're quite ordinary. Congratulations! There are no nasty surprises for you. If you are Haniwa, you're very powerful spiritually. It might be troublesome at first but you're going to be so cool in a thousand years! If you're Sue, please contact your local ancient and get a private referral for what to expect. Scary!_

 

_That's all for beginners Let's all have a nice afterlife together!_

 

_Misa Misa_

_Kanto Region Vampire Centre_


	3. The Vampire Centre

The Vampire Centre

 

III

 

“I'm going out,” Light said, as he walked down the stairs in his family home.

 

The silence was overwhelming. Light's sister and his mother stood stiffly by the family dining table, their eyes wide and expressions uncomfortable.

 

L looked at them both blandly, “no worries, unlike the movies vampires are OK in the sun.”

 

Sayu managed a single, shuddering intake of breath before quickly running back upstairs to her room. She carefully squeezed by her brother, flinching when their shoulders accidentally touched.

 

Light couldn't help but regard their behaviour as incredibly off putting and strange. He knew the Kira case had taken a lot out of everyone and that his father had suffered a heart attack a few months back, likely over the news of his death. But it was still...weird. It was as though everyone followed a pattern that Light couldn't see yet. Glancing at the butsudan in the tatami room, Light repressed his own shudder at seeing his funeral portrait up on the alter. Nothing made sense but at least Ryuuzaki was helping him discover the truth.

 

Once outdoors, L made a show of checking his cellphone map to find the centre.

 

“I always found it interesting that the movies portray vampires as so weak when they're really quite strong,” L said, “most of their locomotive power seems to be rooted in the spirit world. I've heard killing them is almost impossible for a human being to undertake. But surely, they must have weaknesses.”

 

In the sun, Light's skin felt absolutely nothing. No warmth, no air moving around it. It was as if the daylight reminded him more strongly that he was a corpse.

 

“Vampires are entirely secretive,” Light said, “I doubt those in charge want their real weaknesses broadcast for anyone to figure out. Making things up to distort the truth is pretty smart.”

 

People had made up all sorts of stories about vampires and daylight, when it was simply more comfortable for dead things to move about at night. They didn't have to sleep either and consumed no ordinary meals. In some ways, it was much superior to living as a normal human being. But there were other things that made it quite detrimental. Light glanced at L's wrist; it sported two small red scars along the underside. His blood hadn't been very invigorating, probably because he was such a lethargic man. Light still felt a weird kind of hunger, far away and unsatisfied in the pit of his stomach.

 

“And now Light-kun is one of them,” L said, “and I benefit from the information. This place is by many vending machines. I hope they have cookies.”

 

“I know the area,” Light said, gesturing in the general direction, “I doubt the machines still work.”

 

The centre was well beyond the suburbs and crammed into a small strip mall down the road. It stood out visually because there were rows upon rows of derelict vending machines nearby and it was a hang out for bored teenagers. Light hadn't spent any time there but he had known about it since he walked home from school almost every day and passed by it countless times, never thinking anything strange would be happening in such a normal area.

 

Now it seemed, after his death, he was seeing everything in a whole new way.

 

Including his bereaved family.

 

“My family have been acting odd ever since I came home,” Light said.

 

“They suffered a huge blow,” L said, “their favourite son dies and then their father nearly kills himself from the strain. It's expected.”

 

“No it's not,” Light said, “I know my mother. She's a very strong person. She'd be stoic, resolute if I had died during the Kira case. My father too, he's really something else. I could see him having a heart attack because of overwork but not for emotional reasons. And Sayu...”

 

Light lingered, she was probably the most disturbing of all. He had been her favourite person.

 

Light regarded L with suspicion, “is there something you'd like to tell me?”

 

“Not a bit,” L said, eyes innocently wide.

 

Glancing at the vending machines however, he appeared sad, “I do wish there were vending machines for cake.”

 

_This man is a carefully constructed packet of lies wrapped up in foolish behaviour_ , Light concluded.

 

“Quite frankly,” Light said, in a clipped tone, “I can't imagine getting along with you.”

 

“We were friends,” L said, “in a manner of speaking.”

 

“I can't even picture acquaintances,” Light said.

 

“There it is,” L said, suddenly.

 

He pointed towards a rather crooked looking sign, it was painted in an old fashioned style and looked weather beaten and impossibly old. The kanji were positively ancient and had probably been hand painted in a typeface that existed before the _Tale of Genji_ had even been written.

 

“This is it,” L said, “it's sort of interesting, don't you think? Humans walk by here everyday and don't even realize what kind of place this is.”

 

“You're a human,” Light reminded him, “and you noticed.”

 

“Yes but I'm a human that has had recent spiritual experiences. It's opened my eyes rather wide,” L said, comically stretching one lid with his thumb and index finger.

 

“Stop that, it's gross,” Light said, “I hope the person who authored these awful pamphlets isn't the same one running the place. For a government building, it's in poor shape.”

 

Despite their differences, it felt good to speak to someone who didn't flinch at his presence. Perhaps that's why Light had gone up into the attic, dealing with his own death and a family that off putting had probably been bad for his mental health. But again, it was as though a massive blank space had replaced actual memories. He couldn't recall exactly why he had wanted to starve in his dust ridden attic in the first place. And more disturbingly...why hadn't anyone tried to stop him?

 

The bell that jangled above their heads forced Light to look up and see an incredibly dusty, mold ridden ceiling. The inside was no better; melted, red wax candles were on every surface table dripping over swollen, damp magazines. Flickering blue neon lights made the place look like it was already plunged into night and the dark slatted blinds flanked by heavy rococo curtains added to the effect. It was like a bad, European horror film. Too much red and tarnished gold and spider webs, as if the person who had decorated had read Dracula one too many times to be healthy.

 

“This is nice,” L said, “it looks like a real European dive bar.”

 

That wasn't quite the purpose of an official building but Light wasn't going to bother to remind him. Was this guy really the famous detective L? He wished he remembered more besides what L had forced into his head when he fed on him, it might have been more elucidating than listening to him talk.

 

“Hello,” Light said, as he approached the desk.

 

A blonde woman was rifling around stacks of paper and books that were much taller than she was. As she shoved some aside and stacked others on the floor, they teetered precariously.

 

L looked around on the desk and noticed a ringer, similar to the kind in hotels. He banged on it once, hard.

 

The young woman let out a tiny shriek and knocked over a massive stack of books.

 

“Eep!” she said, “MisaMisa is so sorry! She'll be right with you!”

 

The woman whipped around and practically bounded up to the desk, Light couldn't help but notice her overly short ornately laced up skirt, the tiny top she wore and her striped tights. Her blonde hair swung wildly as she stopped suddenly in front of them, making her big leather boots squeak. Her lips smiled at them in a garish red. She looked like she had walked out of a bad issue of Kera magazine.

 

“Hello!” MisaMisa chirped.

 

She looked briefly at L, recognized him as a sickly human being and not a vampire and quickly focused her gaze on Light.

 

“Wow!” she said, looking pleased, “Nice to meet you! I'm Amane Misa the vampire centre representative for Kanto region. How can I help you?”

 

She gave him a tiny bow, showing off far too much of her bust line for Light to feel comfortable with.

 

“I'm Yagami Light,” he put his pamphlets on the desk, “I was supposed to report here a while ago but there were complications.”

 

Misa stared at him for some minutes, her eyes wide and gaze adoring. L smacked the ringer again, startling her out of her staring session.  
  
“Ah- right!” Misa gave him a cute little salute, “You can call me Misa. Yagami-san please wait while Misa gathers your files!”

 

Toppling over stacks haphazardly, Misa dug through piles of papers and dishevelled books until she found a thin, blue folio. Kicking her legs to right herself again, since she had to dig so deep, she placed the folio on the counter and adapted what Light supposed was her 'serious business' face. It was a little bit constipated and sort of stupid looking. L had jammed his thumb up into his mouth and was openly looking at her low cut top so Light supposed these two were in good company.

 

“This is your file, Yagami-san!” Misa said, “please read over it and correct anything that may have been improperly stated. Afterwards, we should review your literature if there are any questions and because it's your lucky day, your sire has already contacted us! He'll be very pleased to meet you. I think it's- yeah! Over there! I'll go get it and give you a name.”

 

Misa skipped over to more paper stacks while Light opened up his file. L loomed over his shoulder, quickly scanning it along with him. His home was listed, along with the family shrine and where his funeral had taken place. It also had minor details concerning his death but nothing terribly specific about the Kira case. That information was likely classified and unreleased to such a public document.

 

_I was shot?_ Light wondered, he flipped through it further only to be greeted by his own post-mortem photograph, _my head was nearly blown off! Strange, I thought I was killed with a heart attack._

 

“Nasty,” L said, though he sounded more interested than anything.

 

“Ah!” Misa let out a cutely surprised noise, “Yagami Light, you were the one with the head injury! Misa is so sorry! That must have been a tough time. How is your head feeling?”

 

“Fine,” Light said, cooly, “except my memories seem to have disappeared.”

 

“Oh no! How terrible!” Misa said, “Your sire can probably help you sort it out. His name is-”

 

Misa's eyes froze and lingered on her papers and it looked for a moment like even her deathly, vampire skin had gone a bit paler.

 

“Mikami Teru,” she said, in a slightly higher voice, “sama! I mean, Mikami Teru-sama, head ancient for Kanto region! Wow! You're- well, I don't want to make a big deal out of it or anything, you're probably nervous enough meeting a new person but that's like, being chosen by the Emperor of Japan!”

 

Misa managed to pull out a very old, very dusty map and mark an 'x' where Mikami's home resided. It was in a nice area of town, surrounded by very old trees. There was a small burial mound Light had visited as a child in elementary school only a few miles away. The place had been designated a national park and boasted a sake brewery nearby that resided in one of the oldest intact storage buildings in Japan.

 

“We can take the bus,” Light said to L, “then walk the rest of the way.” 

 

“Ah!” Misa let out a squeal, “I have to check your trait before you leave! Misa almost forgot!”

 

Gesturing towards an ornate looking stool set behind a teetering stack of papers, Light resigned himself to being put through some other filing process by Misa.

 

“It won't hurt and only takes a few seconds,” Misa said, “please relax and let Misa do all the work!”

 

Carefully he sat down on the stool and watched as Misa raised the palm of her hand. It was a familiar gesture Light recognized from the Buddhist temple his mother took him to as a child.

 

Scrunching up her face, it seemed to take more than a few seconds until Misa's eyes glowed red, faded and she came back to her senses, blinking from the effort.

 

“Right!” Misa said, “I have the papers here. Um, somewhere! Just a second.”

 

Rifling through more papers she picked up a well worn looking square shaped paper printed on a stock so thin it was nearly see through. A gigantic kanji had been printed across it.

 

“Haniwa!” Misa said, “Spirit type! Congratulations, Light-chan!”

 

L let out an amused snort at the honorific. Light hesitantly took the offered paper no thicker than a tissue and regarded it with some hesitance.

 

“Bring this to your sire,” Misa said, “he'll give you information to your specific trait. We're good now, so you should get going. I'll inform Mikami-sama you're coming by.”

 

“Thank-you for your trouble,” Light said, graciously.

 

He bowed and Misa raced to bow lower than him. L wondered at the exchange, there was something a little off about it.

 

Once the two men were gone and the bell above the door had jangled shut, Misa's excitable presence suddenly dulled. Stiffly her body went rigid and straight and her eyes were as empty and hollow as a doll's. From her skirt pocket she pulled out a bright red phone, covered in wara ningyo charms stuck through with golden pins. She hit a single button and began to speak.

 

“Mikami-dono,” she said, her voice quiet and assured, “everything was as expected. Yes, he's _Sue_. No, they don't suspect anything. They're on their way now.”

 

Snapping shut the plastic phone, Misa's cold eyes reflected the flickering blue neon in their glassy depths.

 

_How exciting,_ she thought.

 

 


	4. The Hell Gate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I read a lot about ancient Japanese burial sites and saw some documentaries about kofun. I highly suggest checking them out, they were really cool. There are a lot of references to ancient Japanese pottery and art forms throughout this fanfic as well, they are all pretty cool too.

 

The Hell Gate

 

IV

 

“There's something odd about Misa,” Light said.

 

They were sitting near the back of the bus. It was mostly unoccupied, the dying afternoon sun creating a lull in the commute until the evening crowd left their homes for work or to come back to the city for fun.

 

“I agree,” Ryuuzaki said, “but let's not talk here. Didn't you notice? There's a vampire on this bus.”

 

Light had noticed but he didn't know why it should be of any concern to him.

 

“There are over a million in Japan,” Light said, “it's nothing to worry about, unless you think we're being followed. If you do, I'd politely like to ask why I wasn't informed earlier.”

 

“I don't think they're following me,” L said, his eyes rolling pointedly towards Light, “Mikami was an early suspect in the Kira case.”

 

The man sat in the most ridiculous crouch, his knees were almost knocking into the seat in front of him.

 

Light spoke while frowning at L's posture, “you never mentioned. And he's my sire? That's an odd coincidence.”

 

“I thought so too,” L said, “but certain particulars were later revealed that took him out of the running entirely. Mikami Teru was never Kira. Those details are highly classified but suffice to say, there's no reason he should have any great grudge against me personally.”

 

“You act as though he knows more about you than you intended, _Ryuuzaki,_ ” Light said.

 

“Oh, he knows a great deal about me,” L said, “but I'm more interested in what he knew about you when you were part of the investigation. Light-kun may not like this very much but _you_ were also one of my main suspects.”

 

Light really didn't like it at all. His father had never told him, just that he was involved in the case in some essential way. Everyone was so careful about mentioning it, Light had initially thought it was because he had died pursuing Kira. After reading his file, apparently that hadn't entirely been the case.

 

“You said I was killed by Kira,” Light said, “but I was shot by an officer.”

 

“The Kira case had many peculiarities,” L said, “I'm sure you read in the paper that there was some suspicion that Kira could control a person's actions days before they died.”

 

“Yes,” Light said.

 

“That may be why your death was so alarming to your parents,” L said.

 

There was something more to the story that L and Light's father were both holding back. It was aggravating, surely they both knew that Light would figure it out eventually.

 

“I'd prefer it if you didn't keep important details like that to yourself from now on,” Light said, “I can do a better job if I'm fully informed.”

 

“Light-kun has always been an exemplary investigator even when certain details were held back,” L said, there was a certain bite to his tone that suggested a history, “I'm sure he'll continue to do his best.”

 

“I don't think you actually like me for all the put upon assertions we were friends,” Light said, “I can't say I'm enamoured with you, either.”

 

“That's good,” L said, “then it won't hurt much when we have to say goodbye at the end of the case.”

 

Light snapped his head straight forward and tried not to grit his teeth too hard. He couldn't imagine working with such a rude and ungrateful person for such a long period of time. Personally, he couldn't wait to bid farewell to Ryuuzaki and his completely obnoxious personality.

 

Suddenly, Light felt a twisting, hot sensation in the pit of his stomach. It felt weird, like a hunger pang that wouldn't go away. He grabbed his waist and winced.

 

“Is Light-kun feeling unwell,” L asked him, curiously.

 

“Shut up,” Light said.

 

If he felt bad it was probably because of drinking from such a spoiled fount.

 

But it was clear the vampire on the bus (a young looking man, maybe eighteen to twenty with short, black hair and drab clothes) was watching them carefully from under his ball cap. He seemed to notice Light's pain and looked down at his cellphone, as if typing something into it at regular intervals.

 

The vampire left the bus at the previous stop about a mile before their own. It was likely he was only to follow them so far to avoid suspicion. The pain in Light's stomach abated and they left the bus without incident. It was a beautiful sunset and the air was still pleasantly warm despite the chill that threatened to descend later in the evening. The burial mound was only a street over from where they were walking, and directly behind them was the sake brewery. The air had a funny, effervescent smell from the brewing alcohol, it made Light's nose itch.

 

His flesh seemed to feel a little more lively now that the night was on its way.

 

“Misa is the head of the vampire centre in Kanto region,” L said, as he walked, “but that's not all she is. She's also a head priestess.”

 

“A priestess?” Light said, for some reason it seemed absurd that vampires clung so closely to religion when they lived such abnormally long lives, “of what, exactly?”

 

“I'm not sure,” L said, “there's some obscurity over her exact position. And it's one that requires so little attention, she can run an entire centre for one of the most populated areas in Japan and still perform it. It has something to do with marriage – but not normal marriage. Some form of deity marriage. That was all the intelligence I could gather.”

 

“Did you also investigate her during the Kira case?” Light asked bitterly, “Or is that confidential as well?”

 

“I investigated her in connection with Mikami Teru,” L said, “she functions as his assistant sometimes, though again, in exactly which matters I can't say. I believe they are both heavily involved in a kind of vampire spiritual practice. They're considered fanatical devotees, even among other ancients.”

 

“So the connection to Kira?” Light asked.

 

“The only connection is one related to their spiritual practices. Some people saw Kira as a kind of God on earth, I believe that would appeal to Mikami Teru and Amane Misa. I also think both of them are the type to take a souvenir if they were so inclined without any consideration for human investigations,” L said.

 

There was a possibility both were hiding the missing evidence.

 

“How old is Misa?” Light said.

 

“Old enough to be Mikami's equal,” L said, “and I know for a fact they've known about each other for a very long time. Quite possibly since the Heian era.”

 

Light nodded, “she put on a show to lead us off track.”

 

“I don't think she knew who I was,” L said, “and I doubt Mikami would have told her. He probably wasn't entirely sure I would risk accompanying you. A long time ago, I worked on a case that touched, ever so briefly, a situation that involved vampires. It was very difficult and everyone involved was quite sour about it.”

 

Light could just imagine what kind of case L would consider difficult; likely one where he had to follow a lot of social protocol and kiss a lot of ass to proceed.

 

“I like the yakuza much better than Japanese vampires,” L said, “they're more accommodating. Vampires can't be bought off with money or material goods, since they see both as valueless. We reached an impasse on certain matters and I had to use force to proceed. It left a bad impression on everyone and I haven't worked with them again. In my blunt opinion, once a vampire reaches an ancient age it's so far removed from ordinary human experience, negotiating is almost pointless. And whatever it is a vampire wants, a human being isn't likely to have. No, they didn't like me at all and I returned the favour. Because of that incident, a few higher ups are a little sore about it still and sometimes I wonder if they still have a price on my head.”

 

Light stopped along the sidewalk, “It's unbelievably dangerous for us to be visiting Mikami isn't it?”

 

“Yes,” L said, his eyes wide and staring, “but the evidence to finish the Kira case is worth the risk, wouldn't you say?”

 

“I suppose it is,” Light said, “I'm just not sure what I'm walking into.”

 

Continuing the investigation was his only chance at getting his memories back. Light tried to keep that hope in mind as he pushed forward.

 

“Mikami is your sire,” L said, “if anything, I'm the one that has to worry. Vampires aren't easily killed.”

 

Light scoffed, “that doesn't mean much. Injury and pain are still possibilities.”

 

L smiled at him, “then we'll face it together.”

 

It made Light feel uncomfortable, as though he were remembering something unpleasant behind that smile. Just like before, the memory wouldn't come clearly and he was faced with only a vague unsettling echo without any images to go with it.

 

“We're here,” L said.

 

It was an older building with multiple levels. On the bottom was a store that boasted spiritual items for sale like good luck talismans and purified washi paper. Second story there seemed to be an antique book shop and on the third, with blacked out windows was Mikami Teru's home.

 

“The door to the third floor seems to be there,” L said, jamming his thumb back into his mouth after he was done rudely pointing.

 

Light followed his slow languid shuffle while keeping a careful eye on their surroundings. He wasn't sure if he could trust they wouldn't be ambushed.

 

The door opened as they approached and Light was very surprised to see a face he found familiar answering it.

 

“So it's true,” she said, “you did survive. It's nice to see you, Light.”

 

“I'm surprised to see you, Takada-san,” Light said.

 

“I would like to be introduced,” L cut in.

 

“This is Takada Kiyomi, a friend from college,” Light said, “and this is Ryuuzaki, another college friend. Because of an accident, I can't remember much and he's helping me put the pieces back together.”

 

“I had heard,” Takada said, “my condolences. That must have been painful. I left chrysanthemums in your backyard where it happened. That was before you returned.”

 

“Thank-you,” Light said, “the gesture is still appreciated. They left a nice scent.”

 

She was very pretty and looked much the same as when Light had last seen her on television. Short black hair, tailored and practical clothes. But her eyes had a kind of shrewdness Light hadn't recalled from before. L seemed very interested in observing Takada who seemed a bit put out by his odd behaviour but was attempting to let it slide.

 

“I'm sure you're curious to meet your sire,” she said, “please leave your shoes downstairs, there's carpet on the stairwell.”

 

Dutifully, they both took off their shoes though Takada tried very hard not to notice L's bare feet. They went upstairs via a small, cramped hallway that smelled like very old carpet and dampness but once they arrived on the third floor, it dissipated and the hall opened into an extremely tidy apartment.

 

It was probably a two bedroom in Light's estimation, with a dining room and kitchen. Along the glass wall where most people put their cooking utensils, various antique pottery sat in neat, tidy rows. The entire rest of the apartment was tightly crammed with exceptionally shelved books on every available wall. They appeared well dusted and perfectly intact and had a numbered sticker system noting their organization. Dominating the main room off the entrance was a rather grim looking shrine, like an extra large butsudan.

 

“Make yourselves at home,” Takada said, “if there's anything you need, I'll get it for you.”

 

“Is there any cake?” L asked.

 

“Actually,” Takada said, with a slightly bemused smile, “I left cheesecake here the other day. I'll get you a slice and some tea. Please wait in the receiving room with the alter. Teru-sama has some business downstairs.”

 

“Teru-sama,” Light said, curiously.

 

“He's my mentor,” Takada said, “I suppose it may seem surprising but we had a lot in common and became friends. Initially I was only chosen to record some information in a way humans could understand but it became a longer association after my work was complete.”

 

She bowed to them and then returned to the kitchen to make their tea. Light and L settled themselves in the tatami room, sitting on the low cushioned seats next to the equally low table.

 

“She went to school for journalism,” Light said quietly.

 

“Perhaps you don't remember,” L said, “she was an avid supporter of Kira on the news.”

 

Light glanced in her direction, he could hear the water running.

 

“I didn't remember that at all,” Light said, “it doesn't really seem like her.”

 

“Some people hide their fascist tendencies until given the opportunity to let them out,” L said.

 

Light ignored what he felt was a subtle dig at his own character and looked around the room.

 

“I haven't seen a room like this since my grandmother was still alive,” he said, eyes alighting on all the old wood and antiques.

 

Many clay statues resembled the kind Light had seen in museums, they had been armoured guards built into mound tombs. The screen wall was painted with a night time scene involving a blue moon and a crane. Several prints from the Edo period hung on the wall; Light recognized one in particular from the Yotsuya Kaidan; Oiwa chasing Lemon in her hellish form.

 

“That looks ominous,” L said, glancing at the alter.

 

There were stacks and stacks of black name plates lined up around it, arranged in geometric designs. They almost reached the ceiling. On the right side, a stack of red name plates in a much smaller pile dominated. The alter itself was painted a glossy black and in the centre was a scroll that looked like an excerpt of a hell scroll from Buddhist tradition. A very large red demon was devouring a man while other people were experiencing various tortures at its feet.

 

Light suddenly felt sick again, his stomach burning. There was something terrible about the alter. Some dreadful feeling about it he couldn't place.

 

“You feel it too,” L said, “it's like a gate to hell.”

 

“You're spiritual?” Light said, he couldn't really believe it.

 

“I never was,” L said, “in fact, in many ways I better fit the term atheist. But certain events led me to believe there was more to the world than I originally surmised. Let's just say, I may not have any reason to worship in conventional ways but there's something to things like this I don't have any other name for besides 'spirituality'. Perhaps, centuries from now science will explain these things in a way I can accept, for now, they are simply 'matters beyond human comprehension'.”

 

“Like death,” Light said.

 

“Precisely,” L said, “the afterlife. Vampires, demons, yokai, ghosts and so on.”

 

It seemed L was becoming a little uneasy in the presence of the alter, it didn't appear to Light that he was a person that became rattled over nothing. It gave him some encouragement, since he wasn't the only one.

 

“What happened to you,” Light said, “that changed your mind?”

 

“Nothing in particular,” L said, but he spoke in a hushed tone that made Light consider it must have been something very grave he wasn't willing to share. He was also staring rather avidly into space, like he saw something in a dark corner of the room that Light couldn't see.

 

“Cake for Ryuuzaki-san,” Takada said, plunking down a healthy sized cheesecake slice, “and tea. Would you like something, Light? There's blood in the fridge.”

 

“No thank-you,” Light said, “I'm fine.”

 

“I'll be downstairs in the shrine office,” Takada said, “if you need anything else.”

 

In under a minute, L had polished off nearly half the cheesecake. Only when he took a dramatic sip of his green tea did the floor suddenly turn dark near the alter.

 

Light found it difficult not to act as shocked as he felt. A whole human figure had materialized from the floor in a dark, foreboding shadow.

 

L sipped his tea loudly and added as an afterthought, “I prefer mine with sugar,” as though what they were witnessing wasn't anything to get excited about.

 

“Yagami Light,” the voice from the shadow was quiet, sure in its diction, “I welcome you to the ranks of the undead.”

 

As the figure emerged into a solid, visible human shape, Light realized he had been expecting someone dressed much more old fashioned, in a kimono or even funeral garb. The man that sat before them on a decorative cushion wore a plain, black suit and tie. His hair was done nicely, in a style that suited modern times. He even wore glasses.

 

“Mikami Teru,” Light said hesitantly.

 

“Yes.”

 

If anyone had doubted that an ancient was something else than human, they would have been quickly relieved of that notion in Mikami's presence. He was like a marble statue, possessing stone white skin that his clothes fit around. The room was colder with him in it, his eyes snapped to Light the way a doll's would. They were dark and limitless. All the pretence of a modern human being was quickly wiped away and obliterated by his unsettling aura.

 

Light nearly clutched his hand to his chest but squashed the impulse. This inhuman creature...! Would he ever look like something so close to a monster during his lifetime?

 

“I welcome you to my home,” Mikami said, with the same quiet, even tone, “Lawliet-san.”

 

“Low-light?” Light said, perplexed.

 

“Please don't repeat that name to anybody,” L said, he seemed rather annoyed at Mikami's presumptions, “I came here on official business. But I suppose someone so well connected already knows that.”

 

“Misa is a kind girl,” Mikami said, quietly, “she runs the centre very well. Though her methods are a bit...disorganized she's always willing to go the extra mile to get the job done. How is your head, Light-chan?”

 

“Fine,” Light said, he felt like he was choking on darkness.

 

“Miraculous, considering how it looked in the post-mortem,” L added.

 

“It's so terrible they leave those in the files,” Mikami said, “but in the interest of full disclosure, it's allowed. The doctors put as much of your brain as they could back into your skull before it began to heal itself but gaps are expected. If there's anything I can help you with, don't hesitate to let me know.”

 

“Ryuuzaki is giving me a hand,” Light said.

 

“Is that the name you go by?” Mikami said, on his porcelain, stone like face an expression flitted across it that resembled amusement, “last I checked that was someone else's alibi.”

 

“It's in memorial,” L said, “and who knows what your real name is. Which era are you even from? You never told me.”

 

“Ryuuzaki!” Light scolded.

 

“Jomon,” Mikami said, “That makes me three thousand years old, give or take a few centuries. I'm sorry you have to put up with our bickering Light-chan. You see, Lawliet-san came to Japan on a case and some of us were chosen to be part of the investigation, this was long before Kira ever came into the picture. It was resolved but there were tensions that still linger. At least, I hope that's the reason Lawliet-san mistook me for a Kira suspect.”

 

“Not really,” L said, “you fit the profile. So did _Light-kun_.”

 

“Then we have something in common,” Mikami said, “Light is the reason we're all sitting here together today. Normally we don't allow outsiders but Lawliet-san has been allowed to see rituals like this before. You may stay for this, or leave. But I would enjoy finishing all required duties concerning initiation this evening and present Light-chan to his ancestors in hell.”

 

“What?” Light said, for the first time in his life a phrase had left a terrified blank spot in his mind.

 

“At the alter,” Mikami clarified, with a reserved smile that was more frightening than encouraging, “it's very simple and over in a few minutes. We'll burn incense together and ring a bell. Then the devils will know you're here on earth.”  

 


	5. The Smell of Incense

 

The Smell of Incense

 

V

 

The electric lights were turned off and candles were lit around the tatami room. L sipped the dregs of his tea by a leaf shaped candle holder burning a single taper. The darkness didn't seem to bother him. The shrine was lit with old fashioned hand painted candles Light was certain must have come from a derelict historical site to look that authentic. To his intense displeasure Light realized he was going to have to sit in front of the black alter with Mikami next to him. While normally not prone to winsome fantasies about ghosts and spirits, it was a seriously eerie set up and put him on edge.

 

“The presentation ceremony always goes well,” Mikami encouraged him, noticing his discomfort, “don't worry too much about it.”

 

Another decorative cushion was fetched from the bottom drawer on the alter, it was arranged so Light was sitting by Mikami's left side. While they sat at the shrine, Mikami's cold gaze took on a strong reverential quality towards the dancing devil on the scroll.

 

It gave Light the creeps.

 

“Have you ever lit incense for a dead person?” Mikami asked him.

 

“Yes,” Light said, he had lit some for his grandmother when he was a child.

 

“The movements are like that, but the reverse,” Mikami said.

 

Hands shaking slightly for reasons Light couldn't quite articulate, he lit the incense. The bell was rung by Mikami and a strange vibration echoed through his body. Black hair came into his focus and he wondered when L had wandered over to watch the proceedings. He turned his head slightly and shot to the right so quickly he hit Mikami's cold, unmovable form.

 

“It's all right,” Mikami said calmly, “it's only an unclean spirit.”

 

A shadowy form waved in an out of Light's vision, it had red eyes and a tremulous blackened shape. He couldn't tell if it was sitting or crouching but it leaned towards him eagerly.

 

“Ignore it. We're almost finished and then soon it won't have a reason to manifest,” Mikami said, “speak your name at the alter.”

 

With a leaden tongue that barely worked, Light still manage to utter his name clearly.

 

“Yagami Light,” he said.

 

All the candles on the butsudan went out. Mikami lit a single flame on a stick of incense and began lighting all the candles again.

 

Without any warning, the dark shadow fled across the room and hurled the tea set at the wall. The loud crash had Light searching in the darkness for L, who had plastered himself to the opposite end of the room. His chest was rising emphatically but slowly as though he were struggling to keep himself calm. The tea pot had nearly exploded next to his head and a gigantic wet spot dripped down the wall. It had narrowly missed his face where he had originally been sitting.

 

“ _Ryuuzaki!”_ L angrily shouted.

 

When L's voice stabbed into the shadows, the dark shadow vanished into nothing. The candle lit itself again on the table and the room was dimly illuminated. Light calmed himself, despite feeling rubbery in his extremities.

 

It hadn't seemed real to him, dying and coming back from the dead. Becoming a vampire. None of it had, until now.

 

“That went well, good work Light-chan, your Haniwa spirit powers are very strong,” Mikami said, “I think however, that Lawliet-san may need the services of an exorcist in the near future. That man has quite the grudge, I'd recommend a pilgrimage to Renkoji temple, the Nicheren sect is very good at expunging impurities.”

 

L was using a napkin from the table to dab up the remains of tea that has splashed on his face. He was utterly unconcerned that a dead man had tried to maim him.

 

“Thank-you but no thank-you,” L said, tartly, “if Light-kun is finished, we should head to the old task headquarters. There are things there that may help jog his memory.”

 

After they had left, Takada Kiyomi quietly watched them leave from the second floor shop. She made her way to Mikami's shrine room, carrying fresh stacks of blackened wood. He would write the names of the vampires who had died this year in his careful calligraphy and stack them neatly with the others.

 

When Takada approached, Mikami startled her with a request.

 

“I need a red name plate,” Mikami said quietly.

 

She supposed this was what ancient vampires considered meditation. Sitting still for hours and hours at a time gazing at hell scrolls, as if they could transport themselves there by merely willing it. She had a notion in her head that was yet to be dispelled by the ancients she had encountered; once you stripped away all the humanity in a vampire, their only desire was to meet their masters in hell.

 

“A red one?” Takada reiterated, “Teru-sama, you aren't thinking of leaving your responsibilities to take a final journey, I hope?”

 

“It's not for me,” Mikami said, smiling faintly, “a name has died, I'm merely recognizing its demise.”

 

“A name,” Takada said, hesitantly, “I don't follow.”

 

“Have you ever seen a _Sue_?” Mikami asked her.

 

It was a rhetorical question.

 

“Never,” she said.

 

“You've just met one,” Mikami said.

 

Startled, she could only assume he had meant Yagami Light, her old college boyfriend.

 

“But he seemed-!” Takada said.

 

“Ordinary,” Mikami said, “without knowing, who would guess? Even an ancient vampire. When the old name dies, it begins. And this afternoon, it has perished. I asked the Shinigami to confirm while we were in ceremony.”

 

From his suit jacket, Mikami pulled out an indigo coloured paper. It looked very old, like something that had been made several hundred years in the past. The fresh katakana scrawled across the blue paper were familiar once it had been unfolded.

 

“Unbelievable,” Takada said, reading the new name, “Then the man that was with Light-!”

 

“It was the detective,” Mikami said, “the one known as L. He's trying to find the Shinigami notebook.”

 

Tadaka folded up the indigo paper and gave it back to Mikami.

 

“Give me his full name and I'll write it in that notebook,” Takada said, “in a few moments, it'll all be over.”

 

“No,” Mikami said firmly, “don't touch that notebook. Any human who writes in it can go to neither heaven or hell. Do you understand? Shinigami are lazy and ungrateful beings but they obey the treaty with hell and its offspring. If you wrote in that book, there would be nothing more I could do for you unless I turned you into a vampire. I doubt you'd take to it.”

 

Takada wasn't satisfied but Mikami was considering her best interest.

 

“Forgive the suggestion,”she said.

 

Becoming a vampire was a living hell, she had seen enough tortured, miserable undead to figure that out on her own. It was much better to live a human lifespan carefully then it was to seek for it to be unnaturally extended.

 

“It's all right,” Mikami said, “human beings are so full of passions, sometimes I forget. It's been satisfying working with you over these months, you've been an asset.”

 

“I'm honoured,” she said politely, “but this almost sounds like a dismissal.”

 

“Only until the detective is gone,” Mikami said, “take this key and give it to Misa. She'll know what to do. After that your duties are over until I return to this house.”

 

“Where exactly are you going?” she asked.

 

“To the devil's gate shrine in the mountain top,” Mikami said, “after I deal with a small matter.”

 

Takada froze, perhaps he was planning on leaving the human world...there wasn't anything she could do about it either way.

 

“I'll do as you ask,” she said, “I only have one question; why Yagami Light?”

 

“Because while he lived,” Mikami said, “he made devils smile.”

 

On their way to the task force headquarters, L became recalcitrant and seemed deep in thought. He had jammed his thumb far up into his gums and grouchily regarded his dirty sneakers, paying no mind to the passersby he nearly bumped into with his slow, shuffling walk. The bus ride went well enough but they had stopped at a rather eccentric junk shop and picked up a strange assortment of objects, including a small wara ningyo doll.

 

“Practising witchcraft to find the evidence?” Light asked, blithely.

 

“Not really,” L said, “besides, the candle hat would be a bother to recreate and I don't fancy finding an appropriate tree in the dark.”

 

“I'm surprised you know about that story,” Light said, “it's pretty obscure, as far as folk tales go.”

 

“Someone once taught it to me,” L said, “the third hour after midnight. The time when the gods and the dead are alive and even the plants sleep. That's when wara ningyo are nailed to the tree by the shrine maiden.”

 

“ _A god's tree, as a nail is hammered in, it drops cold rain_ ,” Light quoted.

 

The cold feeling that had begun to infest his limbs at Mikami's shrine reappeared when Light walked into the front door of the old task force headquarters. He hadn't remembered much, nothing at all really about his time on the Kira case. But when the doors opened, the sound they made brought something back. He paused at the threshold, taking in the foyer, the security desk that were all darkened and abandoned by late night.

 

“What is it,” L said, his dark eyes shifting towards Light.

 

“I used to bring my father a change of clothes,” Light said.

 

There was something more to it, something he was forgetting. The face of a pretty,dark haired woman floated and hovered but inevitably melted away.

 

“My room is upstairs,” L said.

 

He turned around rather sharply and shuffled his way to the elevator leaving Light feeling confused and uncomfortable. There was so much he didn't know about himself, he was attacked with the absurd notion that he would somehow screw something up, that there was some matter he should be taking care of that wouldn't allow for mistakes.

 

It was only an echo, he supposed, of the things he had forgotten.

 

They walked through empty monitoring rooms and office space that had once held computers and desks that had been stripped away. The whole building seemed to be in a transitional state, the office supplies in boxes and computers on the floor or being packed away.

 

“Is someone else going to use this building after the Kira case is closed?” Light asked, taking in the mess.

 

“Perhaps,” L said, “it might even be torn down to make way for something else.”

 

“It's almost a waste,” Light said.

 

“I didn't realize Light-kun was so nostalgic,” L said.

 

“I'd need more memories about the place to go that far,” Light replied.

 

The inner rooms were much more akin to a living space; there were candy wrappers and tipped over office chairs, clothes were strewn everywhere and the sheets on the large bed looked rumpled and used. A laptop sat open with a single, gothic letter 'L' displayed on its screen saver. It was clear that despite his genius, L wasn't much for housekeeping.

 

“Do you live alone?” Light asked, looking for a place to sit and quickly giving up, all the chairs seemed to hold piles of dirty clothes.

 

“I have recently,” L said quietly, “but soon, I'll be going somewhere else. It wasn't worth the bother to bring someone over.”

 

The window was large and had an amazing view. Light looked through it and down, down onto Tokyo's streets still crowded with multitudes of people so late at night. The sound of rumpling plastic and packages tearing filled the silence in the room.

 

“There was a man,” L said suddenly, “who was very much like a father to me. He died on the Kira case. I suppose it's nostalgia that kept me from hiring anyone else while I was here.”

 

Considering the state of his rooms, Light wasn't sure that was an entirely logical course of action. He turned around to see L holding up a small doll's house and dumping the plastic contents onto the floor.

 

“What are you doing with that?” Light asked.

 

On the floor were bits of plastic furniture, a bonsai, a female figure that was supposed to be the woman of the house.

 

“I'm making a shrine,” L said, as if Light were a total idiot for not figuring it out sooner.

 

Light picked up the pieces off the floor, “at least throw them out. Someone could step on them and hurt themselves.”

 

“Leave the bonsai,” L said, “I like that one.”

 

The rest were unceremoniously tossed into the garbage, Light reigned in his impulses to begin clearing away the dirty room, it wasn't as if he would be here long and what L did in his rooms was his own business.

 

The pink house was set up on a glass table, its doors wide open. Rifling through his bags, L put a miniature wara ningyo doll in the bottom half. On the top he put the bonsai and a mini jar of strawberry jam. The last two items in the bag were a pink pottery bowl and a bag of sand. From under the bed L hauled out some strong smelling, cheaply made incense that reeked of strawberries.

 

“I could burn some for Light-kun, if he wants,” L said.

 

“That's okay,” Light said, it really stank and he couldn't imagine anyone enjoying the reek unless their olfactories had died with the rest of them, “my sister burns plenty.”

 

“There may come a day when she won't,” L said, quietly.

 

While dumping the sand into the bowl, L nearly knocked over his small shrine. Eventually he set them up properly on the small glass table. It was garish, ugly and very pink. Light couldn't imagine what kind of weirdo would appreciate such a hideous gesture. In the quiet that had descended between them while L worked, Light considered L's words.

 

 _There's something unpleasant you're not telling me_ , Light thought, _and I'm going to discover it soon._

 

“There,” L said, as he put the burning incense in the sand bowl, “now the spirit should be happy I noticed it and stop screwing around with me for a while.”

 

“Who was he?” Light said.

 

“A friend,” L said, “the same way you were. Things went badly, we parted on less than ideal terms. Then he died.”

 

“I came back in a more tangible way,” Light said, “we could still be friends.”

 

“I doubt Light-kun will think like that in the next few days,” L said, plainly, “but I will be gracious and accept his friendship for the time being. It gets lonely without a case.”

 

A dopey smile was flashed in Light's direction.

 

“I wish you'd tell me what you know so I could decide for myself,” Light said.

 

“Then it would be impossible,” L said, his shadowed eyes looking grim.

 

Whether he was referring to their friendship or the information concerning the Kira case, it wasn't clear.

 

 


	6. Thrall's Handbook

VI

 

Thrall's Handbook

 

_Excerpt From Spirit Power Manifestation In Young Vampires And Their Benefits_

 

_Takada Kiyomi_

 

Although vampires are split into three groups, there are two that manifest exceptional spiritual power at an early age. The Haniwa and the Sue. The Haniwa is an extremely beneficial vampire to become associated with and even very young Haniwa have incredible spiritual power concerning communication with the dead.

 

Since vampire society and human society are far apart by necessity, gain the attentions of the Haniwa by offering incense at a marked shrine. Like any relationship maintaining good communication is key, remember that vampires are often more conscious of etiquette than modern people. Don't ever ask point blank to be made into a vampire, there are many reasons why this is a bad idea but chiefest among them is that if a vampire could stop being a vampire, they would make it happen without hesitation.

 

Most vampires, who are not ancient and well beyond human desires and wishes, do not like being vampires. Living such overly long lives is actually psychologically painful, this is why so few vampires ever make it to the adult stage. Human beings are attracted to change and spiritually, change is necessary for human prosperity. An absence of death is distinctly an absence of change. Vampires are trapped by their own habits, entrenched in personal pathos. All vampires go to hell but if you think about the state of the world and various concepts of sin and salvation, then most human beings will go to hell along with them. By ingratiating yourself in vampire society, you are encouraging an easy experience in hell before reincarnating.

 

Becoming friends with a vampire also ensures an auspicious place in the afterlife on earth should you choose to become a wandering spirit. Young Haniwa keep name plates frequently in their home shrines, this assures the dead will always have a voice in this world and energy to feed on.

 

The other vampire, the _Sue_ must be avoided at all costs. The particulars of their spirit powers are written in _The Forbidden Scrolls_. These scrolls belong to ancients who ascend the ranks and are elected to govern over the regions. The information contained in them is guarded with a vicious secrecy. These scrolls also hold information on how exactly to kill a vampire, which punishments must be meted out for individual crimes and various laws, rules and religious rites for various purposes.

 

If a human wishes to engage with vampires, knowing about the Sue's existence is important. However, consider the following passage a warning to stay well away from their malevolent powers.

 

Each century, ancients must reveal how many Sue still exist, who has jurisdiction over their movements and any trouble they may have caused. They treat them the way people treat an impending earthquake, making contingency plans for disasters. Sue seem to be regarded as a necessary evil to a spiritual vampire's existence. Somehow, they increase a vampire's spiritual powers though the exact manner is assumed to be discussed only in the forbidden scrolls. Despite the sinister nature of their existence, their importance is not to be denied. Sue are traded in negotiations concerning region divisions and massive favours. The trade of a Sue occurs somewhat like a wedding, with similar ritual clothing and elaborate rites headed by a priestess. There is some curious history with regards to the way the wedding is discussed, it's essentially referred to as a _sham wedding_. This is only conjecture but the belief may stem from the superstition that the Sue's true spirit is already married to the multitudes of devils in hell and it's important not to offend them. The Sue is passed on from their previous owner to a new one as if it were a kind of 'spirit bride' and not a real, physical being. Male or female, it seems to be inconsequential, they are all brides and are referred to as such by elders. If a vampire insults a Sue, it's considered a rather grave impasse and requires a great deal of reparation. The Sue are viewed in a light similar to enshrined Shinto deities, including purification rites, pinning down 'bad' Sue for transgressions against humankind, and placating them through gifts. The exact specifics are of course, hidden away from sight in the forbidden scrolls.

 

While obliquely beneficial to vampires it seems Sue are regarded as a kind of calamity to befall humans. Rituals are performed in the mountains to try and keep the calamities from spreading. Humans are never invited to partake in such rituals as it would be hazardous, apparently even the presence of a human can incite some kind of domino effect that ends in disaster from an angry Sue. This leads to the assumption that Sue live very removed from human beings and rarely interact with the human world once discovered.

 

Ancient folklore exists about Sue. It has been suggested by my mentor that being in the presence of a very old Sue would be spiritually enlightening but a distinctly uncomfortable experience for a human and not one undertaken lightly. He mentioned that when vampires attempt to starve themselves to death, the vision of temptation they're most likely to see as an encouragement to keep living, is a kind of Sue. He thinks deceased Sue return from hell occasionally to do the bidding of their husbands. These are not commonly held beliefs and I'm under the impression they're related to a specific spiritual practice and considered old fashioned by other vampires.

 

There was however, an interesting scroll that was discovered in a hole buried deep within Aokigahara forest concerning a Sue ritual. It was shown to me by another, much younger vampire as a kind of 'historical curiosity'. If a Sue had been particularly evil during their lifetime, they could be 'pinned down' and forced to open a gateway to hell. While the scroll was vague about the specifics, it appeared to insinuate that the wounded cries of the Sue would bring the devils from hell itself to rescue it. My mentor confirmed that this event has actually happened at least once, as he was present to witness it. He wouldn't mention anything more about it, it seemed a great taboo to talk about the possibility as a real event and not some distant memory of the past.

 

On the positive side, only 3-4 Sue are ever born in any given century and the chance of meeting one is rare since their movements are so closely monitored. Avoid their direct mention in a vampire's presence, as it is an uncomfortable topic.

 

 


	7. The Hungry Ghost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're upset by this chapter, I can promise that you will be far less upset two chapters from now. Big, nasty warnings for this one. I wasn't sure how a certain scene would go so I have now officially crossed 'M' threshold and have changed the rating to 'E' for explicit. The blood, non-con and gore warning comes into play, along with uh...pseudo-necrophilia. Enjoy...?

The Hungry Ghost

 

VII

 

A phone call had arrived fifteen minutes ago on L's private line; Mikami had begun to mobilize. Three vampires had left, each carrying a small package moving in entirely different directions. The man himself had seen fit to arrange for a furlough into the mountains.

 

“Light-kun will surely be all right staying in my care a while longer,” L said, “until the case is resolved, which I think will be very soon.”

 

Staying in his care? If anyone was caring, it was Light about the state of L's rooms. He found himself piling all the dirty clothes in a corner of the room so he could even sit on a chair. At one point, he'd crushed what he had assumed were cookie crumbs under his foot. There were stacks of sweets on every surface, even piled around his ugly, plastic shrine. L had even sent Light out to the store to get cake. It was disgraceful.

 

“He doesn't have the notebook,” Light said, sitting on a chair that had housed dirty clothing and candy wrappers until very recently, “he's not that stupid.”

 

“Precisely,” L said, “neither do the three vampires but they're proving a suitable distraction for the team I have following them. There's too much danger to risk a devoted thrall like Takada, no, I think he's hidden it somewhere inconspicuous.”

 

“He's painfully organized,” Light said, beginning to congeal the pattern in L's mind, “you've been following him for over a month.”

 

“Along with Misa,” L said, “it really was between the two of them until this very moment. Both had the means and motive but Mikami has the impetus to act quickly since we arrived on his doorstep. I have a remote assistant going through any deviations to his routine, if he's done anything strange, they'll find it.”

 

“From the state of his apartment,” Light said, “I'd think he'd be the kind of vampire to keep the exact same schedule for centuries.”

 

“Exactly,” L said, “his abandonment to the mountain shrine was a tip off something had already been done about the notebook. When exactly he moved it deviating from his routine, is what we need to find out. Then the location will be easily discovered. Technically the Kira incident was contained to the Kanto region, it's under his jurisdiction, if he were hiding a human artifact the other vampires wouldn't care. But lately I've received other information why Mikami wouldn't want to hold onto it. Do you believe in shinigami?”

 

Light stared at him, “I didn't see one when I died, if that's what you're asking.”

 

“I never suspected,” L said, “there were two factors that ended the Kira case prematurely, one of them was the sudden appearance of a shinigami.”

 

Light was very eager to hear exactly what had gone on, how exactly the case had been solved.

 

“Since you're a vampire and technically dead,” L said, “this information is harmless. But I would appreciate it if you kept it to yourself. Like all people who understand their existence is temporary, I set in place a series of assistants who would be able to run the name L if I were to expire before a case was concluded to my satisfaction. The Kira case was very dangerous, there were many pitfalls. At a certain point I knew I would either succeed or die but if the worst happened I made sure my name would live on, for a while longer, even just as a ghost to scare naughty children.”

 

L chuckled to himself at that, as though the idea were terribly funny. It wasn't a very attractive laugh, too low and dull to sound genuine. Light found it unbearably ugly.

 

“But then something unusual happened,” L said, his eyes growing wide, “a boy who was being trained to succeed my title in a secure location got a rather nasty surprise. Something had eaten all his chocolate. It turned out it was a shinigami looking for its notebook. Erroneously, it had believed the connection between myself and the boy was more closely geographically linked.”

 

“It doesn't sound very smart,” Light said, “for a death god.”

 

L jammed his thumb into his mouth, “it wasn't. But that helped me out a great deal. I'm not sure what would have happened without it. That notebook we're looking for, another shinigami had apparently stolen it. Since it confessed that shinigami gain life from the lives they take I can understand its desires to retrieve it. It helped us out, in the assumption that we'd help it in return. Propitiously, it held in its insect hands the secret to Kira himself. A borrowed death note.”

 

“A murder notebook?” Light asked, it was almost too strange to believe.

 

“That was the secret to Kira's ability to kill remotely,” L said, “among many other things. Unfortunately, my young successor is growing weary of the shinigami's company and I can't blame him. The very existence of such a creature makes me uneasy, too.”

 

“But vampires don't?” Light said, amused.

 

“Vampires were once human,” L said, “though I don't like them very much, I can at least understand their suffering. Shinigami are cold and unforgiving, they only care about their own amusement.”

 

“It sounds like you've seen more than one,” Light said.

 

“Once I thought I saw one wearing human skin,” L said, as his eyes widened, “but it was just an illusion.”

 

“Your jokes aren't funny,” Light said.

 

“Then maybe Light-kun should get me another cake,” L said, “they might improve. Or if he likes, he can drink some of my blood before I sleep.”

 

“I thought you needed rest,” Light said, “but you've been up all this time even after your donation.”

 

“If I give Light-kun more blood before I sleep,” L said, “it'll save time. Tomorrow morning the vampires will be at their lowest energy, it's the perfect time to retrieve the notebook. I won't be in the mood to be a donor then.”

 

There was a scent in the air that made Light feel terrifically uneasy and it wasn't only caused by L's dismal housekeeping habits. The strawberry incense lingered in a sickly haze and the dark shadow form that had appeared when Light had sat in front of the alter with Mikami lingered in his mind.

 

“Go on,” L said, offering his wrist.

 

Despite his misgivings, Light figure he might as well since he wasn't entirely sure who his next meal might come from. Drinking blood on a regular basis was probably the worst part about being a vampire, the rest seemed liveable by comparison.

 

_Every night I'd have to find somebody willing_ , Light thought miserably, _unless I wanted a thrall but that's as bad as having a girlfriend._

 

L's wrist was warm and living, when it rested in Light's hand it was apparent that one was alive and the other was dead. It was a strange, unsettling truth that settled in Light's stomach.

 

“Does your stomach still hurt?” L asked.

 

“Not much,” Light said.

 

Taking a deep breath and realizing he was much more squeamish now that he was in control of his impulses, he managed to bite down on the warm skin.

 

L sucked in a breath, he didn't appear to be in a great deal of pain. Perhaps it was more the strangeness of feeling someone drink your blood that-

 

Like a lightning crack Light felt a change. The blood pounded through him, he could feel it moving under his skin. His eyes dilated, the irises turned red.

 

“Light-kun?” L said, curiously.

 

He was so weak, L the great detective.

 

He could just-

 

“Light-kun!”

 

Light had thrown L onto his bed and had held him down; hungrily he saw the big vein in his neck throb invitingly. Vaguely, Light could feel someone struggling under him but the blood was too much, he wanted it. He was starving! So hungry, his stomach ached with burning pain. He lunged and bit and drank, greedily, taking in great gulps. More than any vampire should ever drink in one night. Massive quantities went down his throat and flowed through his extremities lighting him on fire.

 

“Stop this!” L gasped.

 

The first bite had really taken it out of him, L flailed under Light's preternatural strength. Light could hear his own breaths coming out harshly. Funny that vampires didn't seem to breathe unless they were drinking blood.

 

“Stop! Light! Come to your senses!”

 

A vague pain shot into Light's arm, L had grabbed the scissors he had used to open the plastic junk he had bought and tried to defend himself. Light held the twisting, squirming man down with his injured arm and tore the scissors out with the opposite.

 

There was more blood inside. He could get it out, now.

 

It was messy but Light stabbed and drank and feasted, until his teeth were tearing out flesh from the still warm body. Considering the hard erection that pressed into Light's leg, the lethargic feeling of a vampire's bite had lingered. It was likely L hadn't suffered much, even when Light had begun mangling his victim. Light panted like an animal and ripped away flesh and chewed until there wasn't any liquid left.

 

It still wasn't enough.

 

Staring down at the corpse he had mangled, Light tore at the bed clothes and his own blood soaked shirt and cut away at them both with the scissors until he was engaging in something that had been completely unthinkable to him prior to this point. It was as if all of the awful things he had hidden away had been completely unlocked and ripped open. All those secret desires he didn't know he had, the ones buried under years of deprivation and self control.

 

_Angel lust_ , Light recalled, _the erection of the dead._

 

Grabbing L's mangled neck and tilting back the head, Light mounted L's death erection and thought vaguely about how magnificent the great detective would look to his successors now. He was a corpse...a corpse....a cor-

 

When Light came, it looked like blood. Red and glittering against his hands.

 

Snapping awake, like he had just been rudely awaken from a dream. Light let go of L's head and tore himself off of his dead body in a frantic scramble.

 

Breathing harshly, the room came into sharp focus.

 

A murder scene. It looked like a murder scene.

 

High arced blood was all over the windows, it dripped down in ugly streams across the white furniture. The monitors were all spattered, the dirty clothes pile was soaked. The ugly pink shrine resembled a blood bath. L was on the bed, half his body nude and the neck clearly torn open. Sinews and esophageal tissue were exposed, as if a wild beast had torn at it and worried the wound.

 

Light staggered backwards.

 

_What the hell have I done?!_ He panicked.

 

Light's whole body began to tremble. Killing humans was forbidden, he didn't even know vampires could tear people apart like that. It shouldn't have been possible.

 

Staggering to the bathroom, Light looked in the mirror at his blood covered, nude reflection and threw up in the sink. The red spatter stained the white porcelain. Tiny specks fell across the large mirror. Light tried to calm himself but it wasn't working, his stomach ached. After all that, _he was still hungry!_

 

_Starving,_ Light thought frantically _,_ _I'm starving!_

 

The worst part had to be that he had killed someone so conspicuous, so essential to figuring out the rest of the Kira case he had been involved with. It had been an idiotic thing to do, they clearly hadn't thought to warn him at the centre that he might lose his mind and murder anyone nearby!

 

Cool rationality snapped him back to himself. There was no use in panicking now, he had already killed the detective, who was clearly beyond saving with medical help. Therefore, he wasn't alive to be a witness to Light's temporary insanity. He breathed in deeply, allowing his body to adjust to the reality of the situation. He glanced at the mirror and jumped back.

 

L! L was in the mirror!

 

Blinking at the glass, it was clear there was no longer anyone there. It was only his panic making him see things. Feeling completely sick, Light knew that he'd have to go back into the murder scene and try to make sure he didn't leave anything behind. L had been chasing down vampires for over a month, it wouldn't be strange if he had been killed by one. Light just had to be careful to clean up after himself. It was a terrible accident and probably a crime according to vampires but it wasn't like he knew something like that would happen. He hadn't been entirely at fault! No one had prepared him and his stomach still felt like it was on fire. Like he couldn't quench the flames.

 

It would be all right, wouldn't it, if he licked the blood off the walls?

 

_No, get out of here_ , his rational mind screamed at him, _you have no idea who L has hired. They could be here any minute!_

 

Ominously, a low bell began to ring. It was like an alarm from a computer monitor. Light slowly turned around and saw the gothic L blinking on the lit laptop. Making his way over to it, Light looked at the notification and considered his options. He could let it go, clearly letting the person on the other end know there was something wrong, or answer it and wait.

 

Light hit the receiver.

 

There was a gothic letter A on the screen, similar to L's own insignia but with a muted, blue background.

 

“Hey, L,” the voice said, it was drab and even under its distortion and had a world weary tone, “pick up faster so I know you're not dead.”

 

A dry chuckled followed. Light kept quiet, waiting.

 

“Mikami's moving quickly into the mountains,” the voice said, “but I have some good news. We found the location of the notebook. That guy...he was really smart about it. Buried it deep in his own rigid lifestyle. What a freak, living like some kind of robot. It's in the burial mound near his house, it's been right under our noses all this time.”

 

Light sucked in a breath. The death note!

 

“....L?”

 

Light cancelled the connection.

 

There would be some minutes before anyone would arrive, it was clear they were off site though how far and through what means, Light didn't know. Quickly he dug through the closet and found some boxes, several suitcases and a collection of outfits meant for various disguises. Light cobbled together a respectable looking suit and some brown coloured trousers. He managed to find a tie, bright red. Coincidentally, it matched the current shade of his eyes.

 

Efficiently, Light gathered his cut up clothes and put them in a small carry on duffel bag he had found in the closet. He gathered up the scissors, carefully moving L around them. There was no point in even attempting to wipe down the walls or take the sheets.

 

Light regarded the corpse uneasily, he had left bodily fluids on L but he wasn't sure if a vampire's fluids were identifiable the same way a living person's would be. Regardless, he had no time and it would take some testing to get a clear match. He wold have to leave the body as is.

 

After quickly showering, Light dressed and even did up his tie. The less suspicious he looked the better. Calmly, he gathered up the duffel bag and made his way through the task force building. A strange feeling followed him, like he was being watched. But there were no active monitors, the building was essentially vacant. No one stood guard, there was only one receptionist and a skeleton maintenance crew barely worth mentioning. Light carefully made his way through the exit just as the morning clean up crew were making their way inside.

 

He nearly gave himself away when a dark, black shadow materialized beside him. Without appearing unreasonably startled he managed to get outdoors. There was a bus stop a few miles away and he went there, using his fare pass from the day before. The dark shadow had continued to follow his steps, it even sat down in a vacant bus seat, watching him. Its red eyes loomed from the black depths of its strange shadowy form.

 

_Maybe I made it happy_ , Light thought, warily.

 

It wasn't something he could deal with now regardless; Light was headed to the burial mound. He would retrieve the death note before they realized what happened to L and then dump his evidence somewhere inconspicuous. He knew of many places in the local area that wouldn't be searched for months, if not years.

 

Feeling better since his arrest wasn't assured, he winced at the rising sun. One way or the other, he would have his answers soon.  


	8. The Family Shrine

The Family Shrine

 

VIII

 

The shadow followed him off the bus into the streets but Light tried to ignore it. The mound was open to tourists around 8am in the morning, Light had about two and a half hours before anyone was likely to arrive and open up the gate.

 

Scaling the fence was easy.

 

Once inside the area, unsettling feelings began to take over. He supposed it was because he was a vampire and it had been a tomb, a place for dead people to rest. Technically his presence was disturbing their peace. The tunnel through the front entry was long, dark and began to slope. By the end of it, light was half bent over until the darkness gave way to a tiny patch of light.

 

The main tomb room was large and had once held a gigantic square coffin. Or at least, that's what the information leaflets supposed. Light wondered if Mikami had known the person who had been buried here; it was a humbling thought that some vampires had seen the rising and falling of entire dynasties. Had been alive when Tokugawa had lead his armies and had ages so great they reached far beyond the time Japan had been alive as a combined nation. Perhaps that was why vampires organized themselves in smaller regions; it was similar to how Light had imagined historical Japanese tribes divided the country in its earliest, prehistoric days.

 

After feeling along the edges of the tomb for any loose earth, Light considered Mikami's uptight nature that L had described and noticed a haniwa statue that had been on display as a grave good. Behind its looped arms and stuck under its armour was a very old scroll. Light pulled it out from its hiding place and began unrolling it. The paper crumbled as he did so but buried inside was the death note, unfurling its black cover as he turned the scroll's wooden handles. Ashes surrounded its form and Light bent to pick it up, triumphant in its recovery.

 

When Light touched it, it hurt.

 

All the memories he had lost rushed to return into a brain that had been damaged.

 

It was painful. So painful.

 

They formed and split and crushed their way into his head and Light was on the ground, curled in on himself.

 

“Hey buddy,” a familiar voice said, “no reason to make like a boiled shrimp. Welcome back!”

 

“Ryuuk,” Light gasped.

 

The pain was fading but the memories remained.

 

Raising up onto his hands, Light levelled the most hateful glare he could manage at the shinigami.

 

_That damned shinigami!_

 

_He was the reason he was in this situation!_

 

“Too bad about being dead,” Ryuuk said, scratching his head, “I'd hand it over no problem if you could use it but...”

 

“You bastard,” Light snapped, he scrambled to his feet and aimed a punch at Ryuuk's form,

 

It hit solid, Light cried out as he heard his fist crack.

 

The shinigami laughed and laughed, the _hyuuk_ echoing around the earthen chamber.

 

“It's sort of like we're on the same level now,” Ryuuk said, “I'm getting nostalgic! Hey, how about you give this thing to a human? Then we could have some fun times again!”

 

Light rubbed his sore knuckles, “if I knew it was yours, I'd burn it.”

 

“Ouch,” Ryuuk said, he did attempt to look bashful, “isn't it time to let bygones be bygones? It's been a month already, I've been dry without any apples to eat. That Mikami guy is no fun, that human he dragged around was itching to use the note, I could tell! But he was like, _Takada you won't go to heaven or hell that way._ Bah! Like it's a good time either place! And that guy, he's pretty scary. He said _Ryuuk, stay here until someone comes or I'll tell the Shinigami King all about the trouble you caused._ I don't even know how those two met but I don't think I wanna. I'd rather think about the good times I had down here. How about it, we could have a good time again! Just find a human for me, any one will do!”

 

“No,” Light said, his hand hurt.

 

Everything hurt.

 

“Not anyone will do,” Light said, he put the death note inside his suit jacket, “besides, I want to go home.”

 

A terrible ache settled in his chest, it was worse than the gnawing hunger.

 

“Home?” Ryuuk said, “Huh, wonder what your old man is going to say.”

 

Light said, “You can leave now, I'll deal with Mikami. Ryuuk, if I give this to a human, I'm sure you'll be the first to know.”

 

“ _Hyuuk! Hyuuk!_ ” Ryuuk laughed, his jaws extending cheerfully, “I can't wait! It'll be great!”

 

When the shinigami had flown away, probably to bury itself in a bucket of apples, Light collapsed onto his knees.

 

He didn't remember every detail, there were some that still bled around the edges. His brain had essentially grown back from a splatter left on the pavement and even death notes had their limits. But he remembered enough.

 

_It was a warm summer night and he was arguing with Ryuuk. He knew if he just had a second time without his memories, he'd win against L. There were factors that suddenly weren't working that he had counted on; somehow L had known certain rules to do with the death note were fake. There were things L was discovering that should have been impossible. And his associate 'A' was a real annoyance to have around. Quickly, he had taken the place of Watari after his death and had smothered L in cloying surveillance. He was tall, blonde and an excellent sniper and he didn't like Light one bit. Light had dispatched Watari in a way that left him blameless but A wasn't convinced. To shake them both off...he needed another death note and Ryuuk was being annoyingly recalcitrant to hand his over._

 

“ _I can't hand over my own note, I'll get into big trouble!” Ryuuk said, and no number of apples seemed to sway him._

 

_There was an apple core at their feet, how many apples Ryuuk could eat until he was satisfied was a mystery but what was once an effective strategy to bribe him was now becoming useless._

 

“ _It won't matter if you lend it to me,” Light said, “it won't be harmed in any way, I promise. Don't you want to find out what happens?”_

 

_Light heard a sound nearby. Glancing to his left he noticed a tiny glint in the trees. It was a white box from a bakery._

 

“ _Matsuda?” Light said, curiously._

 

_It was a bothersome visitor. Light had been coming back from planting his latest scheme, A's agents wouldn't last too much longer since Light had learned their names but 'Aiber' and 'Wedy' would be useful in proving his 'innocence'. He had some suspicion he was being followed but he made sure his actions weren't the least bit dubious and the two he suspected were on spy duty would soon be dealt with. No one was ever out here this time of night in suburbia but here was Matsuda holding a bakery box looking like he had been caught stealing underpants._

 

_Despite appearances, Matsuda wasn't a total moron. He had likely heard Light's half of the conversation. Light would have to think fast and then probably get rid of him the moment he looked away. It would be a shame, he was hoping to use Matsuda more as things progressed._

 

“ _Matsuda,” Light said, more firmly, “what are you doing out here at this hour?”_

 

“ _I was visiting your sister,” Matsuda said, his voice wavered, “I brought cake. She's staying up late to study.”_

 

_They were an item? Light felt annoyed. His sister had terrible taste._

 

“ _I-I'm not her boyfriend or anything,” Matsuda said, absurdly nervous, “but that's not the point. Who were you talking to?”_

 

_It took a few seconds but it was almost visible watching Matsuda make the connections. All the colour drained from Matsuda's face, as though he had heard the dreaded name whispered in his ear. Light had slowly approached Matsuda until the box fell from his hands and he heard a click._

 

“ _Matsuda,” Light said, holding up his hands and performing his best innocent face, “please.”_

 

“ _Don't!” he said, “L was right! Don't move or I'll shoot!”_

 

_It was clear Matsuda wasn't seeing Ryuuk, his gaze darted all around him. But miraculously, he knew what to look for. He even noticed the lone apple core at their feet with a sudden, monstrous terror. Later, Light would put it together. The warning signs. Orchestrated by L, someone had been meeting and greeting the task force from the shinigami world....in secret. This way they'd know what to expect._

 

_But Light hadn't thought of that in the heat of the moment. No, it would have been unthinkable at that time, the shinigami were high above them. Only Ryuuk with his creepy laugh had bothered to come down to relieve his boredom. Clicking on the inside of his watch, Light slowly turned the dials as he backed up. Tiny, barely noticeable motions._

 

“ _Matsuda,” he prompted, “you don't want to do this.”_

 

“ _I don't want to shoot you!” Matsuda nearly screamed, “But I will if I have to! All those people! Your father! Light! How could you?”_

 

_This was bad, any minute his father would wake up and everyone would come downstairs and Light knew, with a terrible certainty, he'd murder every single one of them to save his own skin._

 

“ _He's going to kill you,” the voice was leaden and dull, similar to L's but it wasn't the detective._

 

_Looking up into the old trees that acted as a fence between Light's yard and the next, he noticed the silhouette of a human form high above them. It had been 'A' that had trailed him. It had been a singularly daring move..._

 

“ _Drop the death note, Yagami,” the voice said._

 

_A single red light swooped over Light's forehead._

 

“ _I don't have a death note,” Light said evenly._

 

_This was of course, the truth. He had buried it already._

 

“ _You've got something on you,” the voice in the trees said, “otherwise that bothersome calm would disappear real quick with a gun aimed at your head. Matsuda! Keep your aim on him. If he moves a single muscle, don't hesitate to blow his head off.”_

 

_Light's plan had been flawless, it was a fine thing for them to be threatening him. There was no evidence. Just an invisible shinigami they couldn't see and Matsuda's dubious word._

 

“ _Listen to me Yagami,” the voice said, “L wasn't sure at first but Watari's death confirmed it. We just had to gather the evidence. How nice when Kira began to make mistakes! If only you had a double, eh? Someone to take the heat off your movements. Unlike an unfriendly bastard like yourself, L has people looking out for him.”_

 

_It would almost be worth making the trade to get this man's name but- no, he couldn't risk it. He'd find a way out of this. He'd always been able to manage it._

 

“ _There's no evidence because I'm not guilty,” Light said, “Matsuda, how long have you known my father.”_

 

“ _Years,” Matsuda managed to spit out, “years and years!”_

 

“ _And you've known me since I was a child,” Light said, “do you really think I could do something like this?”_

 

“ _I don't want it to be true,” Matsuda said, he had begun to cry, “Light don't move or I'll shoot!”_

 

_It was such a small movement, he could accomplish it in a few seconds._

 

_Until Matsuda shot his arm._

 

“ _Make another move and I'll wreck your head!” the voice shouted from the trees._

 

_Light screamed from the pain. It really hurt being shot!_

 

“ _Matsuda!” Light cried, desperately, “stop this! He's insane! It's not me, it can't be me!”_

 

“ _Don't move!” Matsuda said, his tear stained face looking more strained._

 

_Propelled by anger Light nearly finished the first bit of Matsuda's name with the needle. The second sound of a click and blood was suddenly everywhere, his head felt swollen with pain. The man in the trees was using an electronic scope, he could see Light's hand clearly. Evidence. That was the evidence. It had been a massive gamble by A that had paid off. What a suicidal bastard he had been._

 

“ _Ryuuk!” he shouted, “help me! Kill them!”_

 

_Hyuuk hyuuk!_

 

“ _Ryuuk! You don't want it to end, you'll be bored again! Kill them for me, kill them so we can keep going!”_

 

_Another shot and the world turned red and static._

 

“ _That looks painful buddy, let me help you out!”_

 

_The leering face of a shinigami writing his name in the note was the last thing he saw._

 

On the way home Light began to feel sick. His stomach ached, his body hurt and the sun seemed far too bright. Pressing his head against the cool glass he saw the dark shape of the unclean spirit from the corner of his eye.

 

“Why are you following me?” he whispered.

 

His cold breath created fog on the window and slowly, spidery words began to appear as though written by a ghostly finger.

 

_I'm a corpse._

_I can't talk._

 

The shadowy form waggled as if it were laughing. Light wished ardently that he could hit a ghost, it might improve his stomach ache.

 

Lethargy crept into his body, the leaden feeling of depression. There was only one place he could return to, the place he'd made his desperate retreat. Light paused at the threshold of his house. He could hear his parents inside, talking quietly. Sayu was banging around in the kitchen getting ready for college. He had never thought of these sounds as anything worth savouring before but now they hit him with a heaviness he couldn't deny.

 

_He wanted to be alive so badly!_

 

_Human! He wanted to be human!_

 

Closing his eyes, he could imagine coming back from college with the death note safely in his room rigged up to an explosive device, far away from L's sticky fingers and his cloying sugary reach.

 

It was all a dream that had faded.

 

The state he had been in when L had sought him out made perfect sense, although delirious from a head injury the sense of loss had been real. It was why he'd shut himself up in his coffin, hoping for death.

 

Death notes were useless to vampires.

 

He'd been damaged, hurt and confused by half formed thoughts that were trying to go places they couldn't. His brain had been torn apart by a sniper's rifle and losing ownership the moment he died; the exact memories had disappeared but the feelings had remained.

 

And his family. They hadn't stopped him because...

 

Light opened the door.

 

All the noise ceased and three heads turned to look at him. His father was up and about, his pallid colour had improved but it quickly turned to a deathly shade at the look on Light's face.

 

“Good morning,” Light said.

 

“G-good morning,” Sayu stammered out, “big brother, how are you feeling?”

 

“I've been better,” Light said.

 

Unflinchingly, his father held his gaze.

 

“You know,” his father said, quiet and sure.

 

“I wish you would have told me yourself,” Light said.

 

His mother was shaking, with rage or un-shed tears it wasn't quite clear. Light looked at them all, his family. Didn't they understand he was doing it for them? For the good people in the world who deserved happiness?

 

“Why,” Light said, a pain unlike any he'd ever felt bloomed in his chest, “ _you left me to die!_ ”

 

“What was I supposed to do,” his father said, “the evidence was unshakable.”

 

“Meeting in secret,” Light said, “while the task force kept all the suspects in the dark. It was really smart. Did L think of that?”

 

“It was L,” he confirmed, “but myself, A and Matsuda put into action-”

 

“Matsuda?” Light said.

 

“He was the least suspicious,” his father said, “everyone met the shinigami that had been tormenting a boy in an orphanage. It was eager to help because...the death note had belonged to it. It had been stolen.”

 

“I see,” Light said.

 

The pain of betrayal hurt worse than the gunshot to the head.

 

“Then the four of us began to use aggressive surveillance techniques,” he said, “it was a huge risk. Anyone could have been killed at any time, including their families. Our identities were hardly secret.”

 

“I wouldn't have killed you,” Light blurted.

 

“ _Liar!_ ” Sayu suddenly screamed, she propelled herself towards Light, “ _Liar! Liar!_ ”

 

Uselessly she pounded her fists against Light's chest, it barely hurt. He could hardly feel a thing. The sun was streaming in the windows and the daylight was stiffening his body.

 

“Sayu,” Light said, he tried to touch her but she shrieked and flung herself backwards.

 

“My brother is dead,” Sayu said, tears streaming down her face, “Kira killed my brother! Kira would have killed everyone to protect himself!”

 

“It was good to forget,” his father said, “I'll have to thank L for letting me have a small bit of happiness.”

 

“What are you talking about?” Light said.

 

The duffel bag weighed heavy in his hand, it contained so much evidence but Light hadn't been able to part with it. 

 

“It isn't surprising I had a heart attack. Once I learned that my son was dead,” his father said, “that he was Kira. That there was nothing more I could do about it because he came back from the dead! I wanted it to be over for good at that moment but there was an essential piece missing from the case. _The death note is useless to a dead human being_ , that's what L told me. There wasn't any danger if you found it first, he only needed the evidence to close the case to his satisfaction. I couldn't deny someone who had done so much and given so much. He asked everyone to play along, to forget for a little while! To think that we had our beloved son back! Until we could hand you over to the vampires! Let them deal with it, that was L's advice, they don't care how people lived their lives only how they lived their deaths. And I agreed.”

 

Light's mother had let out a little cry, she had pressed her hands despairingly to her mouth. She had been so still during the whole time, Light had almost forgotten she was there.

 

“Mother,” Light attempted.

 

The chair was pushed back. Light's mother slapped him hard across the face.

 

Pain.

 

He felt the pain.

 

_It hurt so much!_

 

“Mother,” he said, his voice shaking.

 

“How could you,” she said, her voice taking on a sharp edge, “we didn't raise you to be like this! How could you! All those people, their families.”

 

“It was for you,” Light knew out of anyone, she would understand, “it was for the families criminals destroy-”

 

“No it wasn’t!” she shrieked, Light had never heard her raise her voice in his entire life, “it wasn't! It was for yourself. For your selfish whims! All of that encouragement, whatever you wanted we got you, you were my beautiful son. I can see it was a mistake to let you go so far, to feel like you had everything given to you. To have never known want or suffering, it made you cold! The only person I was fooling thinking it would be all right was myself. I spoiled you and adored you and this is the result. I'm as guilty as anyone.”

 

“No Sachiko,” his father was trying to comfort her but she landed her moist eyes on her husband.

 

“You're as guilty as he is,” she said, the words bitter and frozen, “for teaching him about justice.”

 

His father said nothing, merely stared off into the distance as though he couldn't bring himself to speak.

 

“Light,” his mother implored, her tears finally falling, “if you value our family, if you value yourself please end your existence.”

 

Light stared at his mother, as though seeing her for the first time. This is what she thought of him? Mothers were supposed to love their sons no matter what!

 

“I'll do whatever I can to make it as painless as possible,” she said, “please, in this one matter, do what's right. Then your father can recover, Sayu can go on living. L was kind enough to keep it out of the media so we wouldn't be hounded but-the knowledge is too much. Soichiro is on his last legs, he can barely sleep knowing Kira slept here under our roof while his fellow officers spun in circles giving their lives for nothing.”

 

“No!” Sayu shouted, “Why should he have to kill himself? That's insane!”

 

“Sayu,” their father said, “sit down. Listen to your mother. It might not make sense now but someday, you'll understand.”

 

His mother had a fanatic look in her face Light had never seen before. His father was slumped over, as though the energy to live had all but left him. Sayu didn't want Light to die but she was afraid, terrified that Kira's spectre would murder her in her sleep.

 

“I'm still alive,” Light said, “we can deal with this. As a family, the way we used to.”

 

“Kira is a corpse,” Light's father said, his voice barely audible, “and so is my son. If you won't kill yourself, then leave.”

 

“Then I have no choice,” Light said, woodenly.

 

The duffel bag was retrieved from the floor. Light left his family home for the last time.

 

Outside it was warming up. The sun fell equally across the trees and the place where Light had died with total indifference. The birds were still singing, the old man was still watering his persimmons. Light hesitated for a moment but then hardened himself. He wandered the streets until he came to the bus stop he had used to deal with Raye Penber so long ago. He got on the bus without thinking, barely acknowledging the shadow that followed his steps, its form growing more solid bit by bit.

 

Without really thinking, Light took a route he hadn't gone in a long time. He went far past the trendy areas of his neighbourhood and into the more downtrodden working class part with its cheaper rooms and apartments. People's laundry was hung outside without shame. Loud music could be heard coming from a third level apartment. The bus stopped and Light got off, he felt nearly robotic propelling his legs to move forward.

 

Looking up at an apartment painted a grimy blue, he made his decision.

 

Light noticed the apartment complex hadn't changed at all, even though the last time he had visited had been years ago with his father.

 

It was easy to slip in without hitting the buzzer as a mother and her child were opening the door. He even helped her with her bags. She thanked him hesitantly, as though unsure what to say to a vampire. The little girl was stoic and silent, her wide eyes looking up at him unblinking and strange. She reminded him of L.

 

Third floor, to the right. The door marked 305. The man that answered looked worn down, his hair a mess and his skin clammy.

 

“Light,” he said, his eyes going wide.

 

“Hello, Matsuda,” Light said, “would you mind letting me in? I'd like to talk.”

 

“Sure,” Matsuda said, pulling open the door.

 

It was a dump, to put it gently. The place looked like it hadn't seen a good cleaning in ages, there were papers everywhere. Clothes and items strewn all over the place.

 

“Did they kick you out?” Matsuda asked, his voice lacking its usual gusto.

 

“Yes,” Light said, “sorry to bother you.”

 

“It's ok,” Matsuda said, “I thought they might.”

 

“You seem remarkably all right,” Light said, “I mean, I came back from the dead.”

 

“Yeah,” Matsuda tried to laugh but failed, “I suffered a nervous collapse at the time. I'm on medical leave right now. Maybe I'm lonely since Sayu isn't talking to me.”

 

“She thinks you killed me,” Light said.

 

“Oh,” Matsuda said, “right. They had to put that in the file since A is a non-entity. I still shot you but anyone with any arms knowledge knows a handgun couldn't do that. It was so horrible. I'm sorry.”

 

“You didn't do anything wrong,” Light said, “if anything, I should be apologizing.”

 

“Did you apologize to your parents?” Matsuda said.

 

Matsuda's face took on a grim expression that Light realized was utterly unfamiliar on his usually jovial person.

 

“Not as such,” Light said.

 

“I didn't think so,” Matsuda said, “you were a lot of things to a lot of people and I know this sounds like an eulogy but, everyone always thought you were so perfect. I just thought you were the chief's son. I still think like that, Kira was a boy who was really misled. Anyway, it doesn't matter now.”

 

“I don't feel I was misled,” Light said.

 

Matsuda scoffed, “you're as much a victim of that death note as anybody. Who could stand up to that power? Even I could think of ways to use it, people I'd rather have gone. It's a terrible curse that should never have been picked up by anybody.”

 

“This may sound stupid,” Light said, “but I'm glad somebody at least doesn't view me entirely as a monster.”

 

Matsuda sighed, heavily.

 

“I'm only letting you stay until you get yourself sorted out,” Matsuda said, “as repayment for the bullet.”

 

“Fair enough,” Light said, agreeing.

 

“Want some tea?” Matsuda asked, then caught himself.

 

“Tell me where it is and I'll make you some,” Light said, “you look like you could use it.”

 

While making tea, Light took in the postage stamp sized kitchen. It was as grimy as the rest of the place and Matsuda stood awkwardly nearby, annoyingly hovering.

 

“Here let me get it,” Matsuda said, he nearly shoved Light out of the way.

 

In the detritus on the counter there had been a paring knife. It slipped and cut Matsuda's finger as he struggled to pour the water into the tea pot.

 

“Ouch,” Matsuda said, wincing as a tiny drop of blood flowed from his finger.

 

That was all it took.

 

Matsuda looked at Light with a dawning, terrible knowledge. Light grabbed his hand.

 

“Vampires are forbidden to kill people,” Matsuda said with a shaking voice.

 

“Some vampires are more dangerous than others,” Light said.

 

Since he was expecting it, Matsuda put up much more of a fight than L had. He threw the boiling water at Light, it burned him on his arms and neck but it wasn't bad enough to slow him down. When he tore into Matsuda's neck, it was so satisfying he could have cried. The blood sprayed over the grimy kitchen's ugly blue tiles and white walls. Matsuda was bodily thrown into his tiny living room so Light could eat the flesh more easily.

 

Ripping open the duffel bag, Light frantically sought out the scissors. He stabbed into Matsuda's still living flesh and heard him screaming as he tore at his throat. Soon the screams stopped.

 

The room was silent.

 

Nothing made a sound.

 

Light looked up from his meal and saw a pair of black leather boots. With an ungraceful _ptooh_ , Light spat out the piece of meat he had been worrying between his teeth at her feet. He hadn't really started in on Matsuda, just his neck and arms. There was so much blood left to dig out, still.

 

“Light-chan has made a mess,” Misa said, looking around, “though, it's almost improved the atmosphere. What a gross place.”

 

From her heart shaped bag she took out some old fashioned iron shackles and held them up. Light snarled at her, if she thought he was sharing anything...his stomach ached. He wasn't even full yet!

 

She giggled, “behave yourself! We're going on a trip into the mountains. If you don't hold still, Misa will have to use force!”

 

Her dark eyes glinted like a doll's.

 

“Everyone's waiting for you to arrive,” she said, “you're our special guest. We can't start the ceremony without you.”

 

 


	9. Forbidden Scroll

The Forbidden Scroll

 

IX

 

_**Excerpt From The Vampire Scrolls** _

 

_The Forbidden Scroll (Sue)_

 

_**The abandoned, the unclean spirit, the hungry ghost.** _

 

_From the depths of hell rose a third unclean spirit. This spirit inhabited a dead body that lacked a tengan and became Sue the most disdained of vampire forms._

 

_Sue appear when human emotions become entrenched in grudges, when forgiveness cannot live, when kindness, humanity and sympathy have all been eaten away. Sue are monsters born without a human heart._

 

_The rules of Sue are slightly different from the other vampire traits._

 

_Every adult human being a Sue bites is accursed from the moment their blood leaves their body. They will all become vampires after death._

 

_No amount of human blood will satisfy a Sue. They must drink from other vampires who offer their blood willingly to be satisfied. The Sue in return, increases a vampire's spiritual power from the aura of its malevolence. If a Sue cannot find a willing vampire, their lust increases with each human being consumed until they are literally an inhuman, violent monster that only knows and wants the taste of human blood._

 

_The only way a Sue will die is if they are burned alive on holy ground. As their strength is immense, this is an almost impossible task for a human being to undertake. If a Sue has gone mad, iron stakes can be driven into their limbs to keep them in place and then a fire can be lit under their bodies. Scatter the ashes and pray for their safe arrival in hell's depths._

 

_The Sue may be very beautiful but inside it's an ugly demon. Spiritual people will see this ugliness quite clearly. No glamour can hide the Sue corpse body from someone willing to see it for what it is; a heinous, cruel and hungry ghost who won't ever be satisfied._

 

_Unclean spirits follow Sue and grow strong from their power. They are an aberration and distort natural laws, a Sue will be given its own shrine so it can placate them._

 

_The family must abandon the Sue. Destroy any alter where the Sue was offered ancestral rites or the family will be cursed. Everything a Sue owned while alive is cursed. Burn it if they no longer use it._

 

_If a Sue is pinned on unholy ground, their cries will open the gates to hell. It can only be closed when an ancient joins the devil ranks as compensation for the lost bride. Even this may not be enough to stop the Calamity._

 

_The number of Sue in service to an ancient must be declared each century, no exceptions._

 

_The Sue is nothing but want and hunger. From the blood it drinks, it will never be satisfied. From the physical pleasures it feels, it won't be satisfied. Though it will take what it is given from vampires, it will always want the warmth of human beings and will long for them._

 

_Prayer to the Hungry Ghost_

 

_Sue_

_Your darkness is immense,_

_Your hunger incalculable_

_May you see wisdom_

_And reign in your impulses._

 


	10. The Heartless Monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of the references in this chapter come from the Death Note specials episodes. I highly suggest checking them out if you want to watch an interesting retake of the events. I also liked the live action drama, but I feel in the minority for that one.

 

The Heartless Monster

 

X

 

There was a sharp, throbbing pain.

 

Then nothingness.

 

The terrible feeling of fingers under his skin, pulling it apart. Stitching back together.

 

“Say something,” Beyond Birthday looked at him with wide, innocent eyes.

 

People thought the insane snapped or were cackling, maniacal idiots for their whole lives. The truth was more mundane. The psychotic tended to be quite normal until a tiny, tickling urge grew into an obsession.

 

“Please look at me,” Beyond Birthday looked like his double, an ugly reflection.

 

“The first successor tried to kill himself,” Watari's calm voice, “I'm not sure what would have happened if Roger hadn't found him in time. Why don't you visit him?”

 

“What would I say.”

 

L had been engrossed in a case.

 

While ticking away at his computer in a white hotel room, he hadn't even given it more than a passing thought.

 

It wasn't as if he'd apologize.

 

Still, Watari had pestered him. So that day, a cold winter day with snow slowly falling from the sky, he had left his hideout and gone to a mental hospital to visit his first successor. The man hadn't even been awake, he'd been drugged heavily due to a psychotic episode, it had been a complete waste. L sat perched on the chair and flicked sugar cubes around the room, the nurses would have a fun time cleaning that up later.

 

“Say something,” Beyond Birthday said.

 

Glancing up from his perch, L looked at B. Their eyes met.

 

“Who are you?” L said.

 

Beyond Birthday was a tall, dark skinned boy with long black hair. His eyes were dark and a bit unsettled, like they couldn't rest properly in their sockets. His shirt was a blood red, his trousers black. His body the kind that was overly skinny and still growing. In his hand he held an orange, it was A's favourite food.

 

“I'm B,” he said, clearly annoyed, “the second one.”

 

“Ah,” L said.

 

“If you said something,” B said, “I'm sure he'd recover.”

 

L looked up at Beyond Birthday as though he were an idiot.

 

“It wouldn't matter,” L said.

 

There were very few things L regretted in his life, that exchange was one of them. Feeling at the time as though the afternoon was wasted, L crawled down from his chair and stuffed his hands into his pockets. He shuffled his way across the room. He could feel the angry eyes at his back.

 

“You're not that special,” B said, “anyone could be you.”

 

“Then do it,” L said, “I'd like to see you try.”

 

It was pure arrogance that had L spitting out that line, like a personal challenge. He needed successors, he understood the necessity. But he had never liked it, he had hated the idea that he was a human being that could die. It took him a long time to get used to the concept, a few near brushes with annihilation until he could accept the inevitable truth. The boy that was Beyond Birthday looked nothing like the man that was L Lawliet but he had become a sort of mirror image after a time.

 

“I heard about BB and Watari,” A had called him from the orphanage, “I'd like to try again.”

 

Tucked far away in a building he had constructed to defeat an impossible foe, he had never expected anyone to make it through his security system into his direct line. But A had done it to make a point.

 

A was talking about the Kira case and his own succession all at once.

 

“Mr. Wammy was a kind man,” A had continued despite the silence, “I might be self destructive but I think you need someone like that. And someone who can shoot a sniper rifle on short notice.”

 

“You're hired,” L had said.

 

It was strange but L had never cared what kind of people his successors were on a personal level. The less he saw of them the better, especially after B. It turned out once he arrived that A was a large, aggravated Swede who liked to snipe beer cans from long distances and laugh grimly at the thought of his own demise. Perhaps he was a silly person but L liked that about him. As he got to know A, he grew to like him even more. He didn't want to give him up once the Kira case was over, the great detective L could use a friend.

 

“You once called yourself a heartless monster,” A said, one day while sitting at L's terminals clicking through information.

 

A was excellent at spotting patterns, it was something L was good at himself. Having two fantastically talented pattern oriented brains going through tedious information was a fantastic luxury L could get used to.

 

“I'm still a heartless monster,” L said.

 

“Naw,” A said.

 

He flopped backwards making his chair creak and grabbed an orange from the table. More fruit was scattered amongst the sweets, A preferred citrus over anything else.

 

“It's actually kinda scary,” A said, “how much of a heart you've got buried in that skinny chest.”

 

L made a disgusted sound, _as if_.

 

“What you're doing for that family, “ A said, “that asshole's father, it's the nicest thing anyone could do.”

 

“I'm likely condemning his son to a merciless death,” L said, “to gather evidence. For a crime that's not entirely confirmed.”

 

“Bullshit,” A interrupted, “you're giving the family closure and that kid mercy. For a crime you know he committed. We all know it's got to be him, his schedule, the patterns, the motive.”

 

“It all matches up,” L finished for him.

 

“And you like him,” A said, “I can tell. Under all that prissiness, there might have been a decent person buried in there. But I think you and I both know that's been eaten alive.”

 

“By Kira,” L said, his voice took on a slightly dejected tone.

 

“Yeah,” A said, “the real heartless monster. So don't go making friends with psychos, one was bad enough.”

 

Light had still been his first, real friend. Another heartless monster. If anyone could have devoured him, it would have been Light with all of Kira's cunning.

 

Blood soaked and delirious, L couldn't help but think how beautiful Light looked as he was chewing out his neck.

 

Light had probably been right about one thing, he was a pervert.

 

“The younger one is having problems,” an unfamiliar voice said, “he can't keep the blood down.”

 

There was the sound of running water, a rough river or a waterfall.

 

“His oesophagus may need to be restitched,” a much quieter voice followed.

 

“I'll see what I can do. This has been-”

 

“A mess,” the quiet voice finished, “I appreciate your help.”

 

“These men can't be moved,” the voice said, “not until they're fully healed.”

 

“We already know where they've gone, we'll catch up.” the quiet voice said, “Leave us. I think he's aware.”

 

The shoji screen came into focus first, then a handsome young man in a blue kimono with long black hair. The lighting was dim, it was likely a single candle was illuminating the room, it was very much like an old fashioned Japanese inn. It might have been more interesting to look at but everything was upside down as L's head was unnaturally leaning over a raised futon. Several cushions were underneath it, supporting its rest at a steep angle.

 

The strangest sensation assailed him, when he swallowed he could feel the flesh on his neck contract and move as though the tendons and organs were in open air.

 

“Lawliet-san,” the man said, “Your throat was torn open and your head nearly severed from your body. We're patching it up but it will take some time to heal. The less you move your head, the better.”

 

L would have answered in the affirmative with a nod but he had no intention of ripping off his own head to do so. His tongue felt too leaden to attempt speaking, he could only make a choked gurgle as a reply. Even his limbs felt still and rigid.

 

“When you were alive you were a great detective,” the handsome man said, “I'd like to employ you until a certain matter has been resolved.”

 

_I am still a great detective_ , L wanted to argue, _dead or otherwise._

 

“Unfortunately, your burial requirements are obscure,” he continued, “we're having problems finding contacts. Once you've healed, instructions can be dictated to my assistant. Until then, please rest.”

 

_Who are you, what's happened, where's the death note,_ there were so many questions L wished he could ask. Unfortunately, his body was no longer interested in staying awake and L sank back into the blackness.

 

The second time was much more uncomfortable.

 

“Hold him tightly,” there was a man that was stitching his neck together and another that was on the bed holding down his legs, “only a little further.”

 

The pain was excruciating and L had no voice to scream with. The choked gurgles that came from his throat were drowned out by the grunts of the people trying to keep him from tearing himself apart.

 

“This guy is a catastrophe,” the young man holding him down looked a little like Light but had none of his composure and he wore frumpy, square glasses, “he should be dead, really dead.”

 

“They wake up all the same,” the older man said, “this isn't the worst I've seen. I saw someone pull themselves together after they died during the bombing in Nagasaki. It was hideous, like a walking scar. Hold him still, his heart is busted up.”

 

_I don't have one to fix,_ L wanted to say.

 

“Got it,” the older man finished his stitching, “it should close up on its own now.”

 

The younger man was preparing a syringe.

 

“This should help the healing,” he said, plunging it into L's exposed veins.

 

The world turned into a wash of colours, the pain became very far away.

 

“Pure opium works well on vampires.”

 

The third time, L noticed his vision was distorted. He had been laid out on his front, his head resting on one cheek, neck weighed down with something heavy. His right eye was the one exposed to the air and it felt very strange. He was having problems recognizing colours; everything seemed outlined in neon lines.

 

“Awake?” it was the quiet man again.

 

“Yes,” his voice was a dry rasp.

 

“Any questions,” the quiet man prompted.

 

“Who are you,” L managed, his throat still hurt terribly.

 

“Namikawa Reiji,” the quiet man said, “Reiji-sama is sufficient.”

 

“Why am I here,” L asked, it was becoming difficult to force sounds from his dry throat.

 

“Because Kira killed you,” Reiji said.

 

“I'm a vampire?” L said, “That's impossible.”

 

No matter how impossible, clearly it was the truth. L's throat refused to work. His body ached, his eye hurt strangely. He felt immeasurably sad.

 

“Go back to sleep,” Reiji said.

 

Blackness. Strange dreams about the dead. Watari smiled at him kindly. Beyond Birthday laughed like a shinigami. And Light Yagami looked beautiful spattered in blood. He reached out, he wanted to touch him...

 

Blearily, L looked at his own pale arms. It was the first time he had moved them since he had died. He managed to sit up with great difficulty, he could feel the stitches in his chest, arms and neck pull and creak. When he opened the front of his white kimono, he could see the gaping hole that had been stitched over. He could almost see the organs squirming inside. Feeling a little nauseous, L wrapped his robe tighter around himself. It was one thing to see organs on an autopsy table and another to feel them moving inside while exposed.

 

“The stitches should hold tightly until the rest grows back,” Reiji-sama said, “there's a man in the other room adjusting badly. He wants to see you. I think it would improve his disposition.”

 

It was as if he hadn't moved from the same spot the entire time L had been convalescing. Of course, he'd had to at least a few times. L supposed it was the strange nature of ancients, they seemed like statues. Immobile even when they were in motion.

 

“Are you up for visitors?” Reiji-sama asked.

 

“What's his name,” L said.

 

Experimentally, L tried to stretch his arms. It didn't hurt but the way the stitches pulled felt weird. His legs still felt terribly uneasy.

 

“Touta,” Reiji said, “Matsuda Touta. He was killed a day after you were. He suffered less damage but it was still extensive. I believe he was a member of the Kira task force and one of the men who shot Yagami Light.”

 

L stared at Reiji with wide eyes. What a terrible fate for Matsuda.

 

“I'll see him,” L said.

 

Shuffling stiff pillows and several futons behind him, he managed to sit somewhat slumped over without tearing anything out. It was far from ideal but it would do.

 

“Let him in,” Reiji said.

 

The shoji door slid open and Reiji vanished through the floor.

 

“Come in Matsuda,” L said, “hovering by the door isn't going to make it easier.”

 

Carefully, Matsuda made his way to L's sickbed. He wasn't looking too good himself, even for a vampire. His eyes had greenish shadows under them that made him look ghastly, he wobbled on his legs as though at any point he would fall over. His hair was lank and dishevelled and the bandage around his throat was thick with the same black stitching that was all over L. They had both been dressed in white funeral kimono, though Matsuda's seem to hang a little loosely. His arms had taken a lot of damage, they covered in black thread crisscrosses from wrist to elbow. He sat down on the tatami floor and sighed, mightily.

 

Matsuda turned his head towards L and stared.

 

And stared.

 

“Have they given you a mirror,” he choked out.

 

“Not yet,” L said.

 

It was a strange comment. His nose and mouth were still there, he had checked. Everything seemed relatively intact, his vision was all right. Maybe there was something about his face...

 

“We look like a horror show,” Matsuda said, “I saw my own organs when they were-”

 

He turned a strange colour L had never seen on a vampire, a weird off purple. It was possible he was going to be sick.

 

“The blood we have to drink is disgusting,” he said, “they said we'd both be... _odd_. That's what happens when a Sue bites people.”

 

“The third vampire trait?” L asked.

 

It was a rare day Matsuda knew something L didn't.

 

“The one Light inherited,” Matsuda said, “it's the worst one. It suits him though, when I think about it. They have scrolls they let me read because of what happened, it helped a lot.”

 

“Bring them to me,” L said eagerly.

 

He'd been sleeping for days, he needed mental stimulation very badly but Matsuda hesitated.

 

“How can you even see?” Matsuda said, he had avoided looking directly at L for most of the time in his presence as though his appearance frightened him, “They're really messed up.”

 

“I'd like the scrolls now,” L insisted, “Reiji-sama mentioned a job I would be employed to do. I would also like to hire you as an assistant, if you'll put up with me. I can't imagine this is going to be easy or pleasant but I can't let Light keep that death note even if it's impossible to use.”

 

“I'll think about it,” Matsuda said, his voice low, “it's all too much. I don't know if I can live like this.”

 

“It would be nice if you tried,” L said.

 

“I'm tired,” Matsuda said, abruptly, “I'm going back.”

 

Slowly and painfully, Matsuda staggered to his feet and left.

 

“I'm afraid I wasn't much help convincing him of anything,” L said, to the shadow forming on the floor, “I had wondered why you didn't approach me before, surely you must have known Mikami had Misa lie about Light's trait. I have a funny feeling you knew exactly what would happen. Yes, you were ready for it. Ready for Light's first victims.”

 

Clutched in Reiji's arms were a pile of scrolls. His cold gaze moved towards L and fearlessly took him in.

 

“It would have been dangerous to approach until now,” he said.

 

L put his thumb in his mouth, he didn't dare bite, who knew what would grow back as damaged as he was.

 

“An ancient Sue,” L said, “this is getting interesting.”

 

With daylight faintly tricking in from the shoji walls, L could make a clearer picture of the man who had been sitting at his bedside. Reiji was wearing his blue kimono with his hands securely tucked inside. He even held the scrolls with his elongated sleeves, he was very careful not to touch anything in the room. Everything about him look contained, his movements were stiff and controlled. There was something about him that recalled a rigid existence similar in style to Mikami Teru but instead of a willing participant, Reiji was doing it because he had to.

 

“Read the scrolls,” Reiji said, “then make your decision if you wish to take on the job or not. I won't hold it against you if you leave.”

 

“I can't leave the death note where it is,” L said.

 

“The death note is irrelevant,” Reiji said, “the shinigami will come for it eventually.”

 

“I disagree,” L tartly replied.

 

“Read the scrolls,” Reiji said, “then decide.”

 

L glowered at the ancient scrolls, it would be interesting and he had every intention to follow through but he hated being told what to do.

 

“Ah, before you begin,” Reiji said, “I also brought you a mirror.”

 

A small hand mirror was pushed along the floor by his cloth covered hands. L picked it up and admired its design, it was black lacquer and probably several hundred years old. Flipping it over L looked into the glass, knowledge secure that the legend about vampires having no reflection was untrue.

 

He was ready for something but he still let out a surprised noise.

 

“When things are eaten by a Sue they work strangely,” Reiji said.

 

Two black holes stared back at L from the lacquer mirror. They were where his eyes had been. The black cracked pools were limpid, liquid and reflecting light like shattered mirrors.

 

 


	11. The Wedding Night

The Wedding Night

 

XI

 

The sound of the ocean.

 

It was dark and cold in the coffin. There were heavy metals chains around him, around it. He could hear human voices, other people outside walking by, talking about their lives.

 

_How boring_ , he would have thought before, _their inconsequential meaningless voices._

 

After dying, life seemed so far away.

 

He hungered for them.

 

_No!_

 

_He was starving!_

 

Shifting in the chains he struggled and writhed. His mouth was stuffed with cotton and so dry. He was a corpse. Floating above him, he could see a dark miasma. The unclean spirit was riding his coffin like a boat, perched on his heels like L with his thumb in his mouth.

 

But he didn't look like L. Not really. He looked like...

 

The image blurred and faded. Light continued to writhe. He wanted to get out, he was frightened and hungry.

 

“His name is Kira,” Mikami's voice was strange and warped through the wood.

 

“Will he be ready?” a man's voice, unfamiliar.

 

“Yes,” Mikami said, “there's no doubt about his sins.”

 

“It's going to be a hell of a time getting this up the mountain,” another voice, more petulant.

 

“If you don't want to do it, I could find someone else,” Mikami's voice carried a threat, politely implied.

 

“I never said we wouldn't manage,” the man backed off.

 

The coffin was lifted, Light felt like he was floating. The hunger died away. It was a very long time before Light felt the thud of solid ground underneath of him. With some creaks and groans, the coffin cover was lifted off and Light winced at a dim, grey daylight.

 

“Whoah,” the man that peered at him had long bleached hair, he looked like an over the hill yakuza.

 

“Mikami-sama has good taste,” the other man had dark hair and an ugly grin.

 

“What did they shoot him up with, he's barely conscious,” another man had short white hair, it looked strange, almost supernatural.

 

“Pure opium,” the ugly man said, “it took a lot to get him to settle down.”

 

“Come on,” the man with the long hair reached in to grab Light, “time to get up.”

 

Light snarled and snapped at him with this teeth. The men all laughed and grabbed him by the chains, hoisting his body upright out of his biting range.

 

He felt so dizzy he thought he was going to pass out, he could barely hold his head up.

 

“Only a few steps,” the long haired man encouraged, “then you can keel over if you like.”

 

Being walked by three grown men would have been more humiliating if he hadn't felt desperately sick to his stomach. He threw up on the way, a bright red splatter along the grey stone walkway.

 

The ugly one laughed, it reminded him of Ryuuk.

 

“Phew! He must have really gone all the way back in Edo,” he said, “bet that was a sight. Fattened up on blood like a leech!”

 

The sound of shoji doors assailed Light's ears, he weaved on his feet but between the two men they managed to get him inside what appeared to be a mountain temple built directly into the rock.

 

“Get him dressed,” the white haired man said, “then we can have the sham wedding. The earth's been shaking, we can't wait.”

 

“Right,” the blonde one said, “Higuchi help me out here. Our Akuma Uba will want to put him in his kimono.”

 

_Devil Woman?_ Light thought, the term was unfamiliar and archaic.

 

It was at that moment Light's legs decided to stop working. Half collapsed on the ground it took two men, one at his legs and the other at his head, to hoist him inside the inner chamber.

 

Laying on his back against a prickly tatami floor he was feeling particularly dizzy. Focusing his eyes he noticed the unpleasant motifs decorating the walls. Devils with grinning faces and oni with menacing clubs danced in the mountains, there was a torture scene across from him. People were screaming and rending their hair while being pierced with swords. Wild dogs were eating terrified men on another wall and in a particularly unpleasant screen painting on the opposite wall showed women and babies almost up to their necks in a blood filled pool.

 

He closed his eyes, it was too much.

 

“His karmic debt has got to be huge,” Light could hear the ugly man's voice, “if what Mikami-sama said is true then-”

 

“This is going to be a good one,” the blonde man said, “this pinning ceremony is going to be the best. Reiji was too nice-”

 

“That's my wife you're talking about,” the ugly one snarled.

 

“Hey, I said he was too nice not a dog,” the blonde one snapped back, “this guy was a horrible person while alive. 65,549 people...I wouldn't want to die either if I were him after doing all that. Good thing Mikami got to him before the shinigami did.”

 

“Shoo!” Misa's voice, “go away! Men can't be here when I'm dressing a bride! Go bother someone else.”

 

“Hey Misa,” a slightly sleazy come on, if Light has ever heard one, “what are you wearing to the sham wedding?”

 

A flat rebuttal.

 

“A cute kimono like always,” she said, “now go away. We're busy! Kira-chan has to look pretty for Mikami-sama.”

 

The strangest, inconsequential urge came over him. Light might have been a bit soft in the face but he resented being called _pretty_.

 

“I'm not,” his slurred words were barely audible, “a woman.”

 

Misa giggled, sounding embarrassed, “I know that, Misa had to undress you! Is Kira-chan all right to sit up?”

 

Strange, he didn't remember that part. He was wearing a white funeral kimono and he had no recollection of it happening.

 

The turning in his stomach increased but Misa helped him up all the same. He was sick again, the red splatter no less unpleasant coming up than it was the last time.

 

“Kira-chan drank too much,” Misa said, rubbing his back like his mother, “we had to drug you a lot or it would be even more unpleasant.”

 

_His mother!_

 

The slap still from her still stung his cheek.

 

“Ah!” Misa said, tugging a black lace kerchief from her pocket and dabbing it on his face, “Kira-chan's tears. Misa knows it's hard at first but you'll cheer up soon. Everyone is going to be so happy you're here! Your kimono is really pretty, let Misa help you with the sleeves...”

 

It looked like blood it was so red. Long sleeves, simple shape and an obi that was a little too wide for a man.

 

“Mikami-sama has a really good eye for colour,” Misa said, running a comb through his hair, “he thought this red would suit you. Kira-chan looks really beautiful.”

 

Beautiful or not, his head was spinning. He felt totally out of control, the room swerved and teetered.

 

“The sooner we finish, the sooner Kira-chan can lie down,” Misa said.

 

But her face had turned into an oni mask. The dreaded spurned woman, a hannya demon.

 

Light may have shouted, he wasn't sure. He was being carried, or rather hauled into another room.

 

The chanting hurt his ears. With eyes that would barely open he dully took in the ceremony room. There was a butsudan that was similar to Mikami's eerie black alter. Everyone was wearing masks, even though his head throbbed in time with their voices, he could still pick them out of Noh drama archetypes. Old men spirits, wild women, the hannya beckoning him with a shinto wand and a fox spirit sitting next to him.

 

“The sins of the doll are immense,” a voice wavered in his ears, muffled by a mask, “his regret is overwhelming.”

 

There was a murmured echo of the word hell. Light could see his two kimono covered hands on the tatami floor, he almost fell over. He was about to be sick again.

 

_Regret,_ he thought fiercely, struggling to keep upright, _as if._

 

A loud noise startled everyone. The chanting paused.

 

The butsudan had cracked in two. Offerings slid off the shrine with a crash and a loud rumble shook the floor. After some uneasy seconds of silence, a muffled voice finished.

 

“Who can survive the agony of knowing they'll never live again with hell at his heels? The demon bitch has turned itself in, the Sue has returned from hell.”

 

“From hell!”

 

The voices joined in a chorus. _From hell, from hell, from hell..._

 

Light looked up from the floor. In the broken shrine mirror he could see L and himself, they were still friends. Working together with the task force.

 

But it was only an illusion.

 

L was dead and Light had the death note in his suit jacket.

 

_He hadn't really lost!_

 

The ground shook again and Light felt terribly queasy. Leaning over to the side, he vomited up another puddle of blood. Everything went woozy, the masks spun around him, the priestess with her wand pointed at him.

 

_The doll has been married! Yay! The first curse has been lifted!_

 

The ground rumbled ominously. A red oni looked at him, its mouth grinning wide.

 

Waking up was like being snapped from an unpleasant dream. Light flexed his fingers, writhed stiffly on a soft, white futon. He slowly pushed himself up. Aside from a mild headache, he felt much better. Blinking in the dim lights, he realized it must be night time. A cool breeze came in from a shoji door opened slightly. Staggering onto his legs he made his way over to it and pushed it open.

 

It led outside to a tiny balcony. The cold air snapped him more awake along with the staggering drop below.

 

“We're very high up,” Mikami's voice startled him, “you might survive if you jump but I wouldn't risk it.”

 

Turning around slowly, Light faced Mikami without exhibiting the animal panic he felt in his gut.

 

“This temple was built over eight hundred years ago,” Mikami said, he was seated wearing a black kimono that looked quite stiff and formal, “Buddhist temples are named after mountains, perhaps this is where the custom began.”

 

“It's quite rustic,” Light said, attempting to drape his kimono so it covered his legs.

 

To a young man who had grown up in a modern, western style home with full amenities, Light might as well have been sent back to the stone age. The last time he had been anywhere near _kimono_ and _geta_ was when his father thought it would be fun to visit an old fashioned onsen in Osaka when Light was twelve. His father and Sayu had really enjoyed themselves in the hot springs and shoji panelled rooms but his mother and himself spent the trip giving each other despairing looks over subpar meal sets and musty bedding and the general grot that came with 'historical traditions'.

 

“It has running water,” Mikami said, with the air of someone who found this noteworthy, “and a generator. The last Sue who stayed here was fond of learning about new things, including electricity.”

 

“I'm a Sue?” Light said, “But my trait is Haniwa.”

 

“I had Misa lie,” Mikami said, “it was for your own good.”

 

Light said angrily, “it cost two people their lives...!”

 

“The detective is better off where he is,” Mikami said, “and the other one is hardly worth mentioning.”

 

“Better off where,” Light said, in a mocking tone, “in hell? That's all you people think about. And what was that ritual, was it...a dream?”

 

“Our sham wedding,” Mikami said calmly, it was eerie how his face barely moved when he spoke in low tones.

 

It was as though without a human audience, all his humanity had been left behind.

 

“Misa will come later and give you a full explanation of the Sue's powers and responsibilities. I understand that you're confused and angry,” Mikami said, he raised his hand, “if you like I could give you something back. To show you that I'm really on your side.”

 

“Like what,” Light said, snapping the shoji door shut, “what could you possibly give me that I could want-”

 

The desire for human blood cut through him like a knife, his face must have changed because Mikami smiled.

 

“Something better than blood. The first time we met,” Mikami said.

 

More memories of his former life. Light sucked in a breath, he wanted to be out of this place. He wanted to go home! _He wanted to live!_

 

“I still want blood,” Light said, his voice filled with longing.

 

“Your stomach is turning from all the blood you already drank,” Mikami said, “and it still wasn't enough. It's not enough to dampen the knowledge that you're dead. All the human blood in the world wouldn't change that.”

 

With a burning twist in his stomach Light sat down in front of Mikami.

 

“I can't stop craving it,” Light said.

 

“It's the curse of Sue,” Mikami said, “it's going to be with you for an eternity.”

 

Mikami pressed his raised hand to Light's forehead. Light felt hot tears spilling down his face at his cold, inhuman touch.

 

“Memories are all you're going to have,” Mikami said, “it would be cruel to keep them from you.”

 

When Mikami's hand touched Light's forehead, it was as if a seal had been broken. Wide eyed and frightened, _Light remembered._

 

Far away in a decrepit Japanese Inn, L sat in front of a myriad number of scrolls with his thumb in his mouth, taking in the gruesome pictures.

 

“This is cruel,” L said, the pits he had for eyes sought out Reiji's still form.

 

“The doll's sacrifice is considered a sacred duty,” Reiji said, “it's viewed as the only gift a vampire can offer to human beings after death.”

 

L snorted, he had no room for the mystical in his life. He preferred hard facts. The fact was, the ritual looked agonizing and it made its participants looked like sadists.

 

“Iron hurts vampires when it pierces them,” L said, “it robs their strength and heals poorly. Stabbing a person with iron rods over and over, repeatedly every century or so, seems more than a little crude.”

 

“They get used to it,” Reiji said.

 

“Never the less,” L said, turning over a particularly vicious scroll involving a person being skewered by an oni, “despite it going against every branch of scientific enquiry I know, I can't deny there's something to the spiritual once someone dies.”

 

“Every culture has its ritual to disarm the Sue,” Reiji said, “exclusion from society is only the first step. The devils must be pacified and the Sue quelled.”

 

L removed his thumb from his mouth and observed the ancient vampire who was looking at him with a far away gaze.

 

“How many times?” L asked, curiously.

 

Reiji removed his hands from his sleeves and showed him the scars.

 

“There was a period some years ago when I was quite upset and caused a lot of trouble,” Reiji explained, “I received eight pinnings over that century. Mikami-sama oversaw each one, he was my sham husband at the time.”

 

His hands were long, pale and the palms were almost covered in rivulets of purple-ish tissue that made L recall the twisted trunks of incredibly old pine trees.

 

“And now?” L asked.

 

“We didn't get along,” Reiji said, “through another ancient a negotiation was struck.”

 

_More like a major falling out_ , L thought to himself, _possibly involving a lot of blood spilled._

 

“I can't imagine they'd like this,” L said, “the vampires described in the pinning cult seem pretty strict.”

 

“I ran away,” Reiji said, “once I had heard Mikami-sama had found the man who had tried to become God.”

 

“Because you knew he would be dangerous,” L said, holes in his face widening, “once he became a vampire.”

 

“No one can kill that many people,” Reiji said, “and become a normal vampire after death. Mikami-sama knew he would be Sue, so did I. So did Misa-sama, the pinning priestess. I believe she had even spied on him almost as much as Mikami-sama in the beginning. She has quite the eye for beautiful Sue, she adores pounding stakes into their skin almost as much as Mikami-sama enjoys the regrets that come pouring out of them once it's been struck.”

 

“Regret,” L said, flipping over a scroll, “it's a common theme in the pinning stories. But if these scrolls are accurate, it would never work on Light.”

 

“This is true,” Reiji said, “a man like him would have no regrets. Only shame that he'd lost.”

 

L regarded Reiji strangely, “then what would be the point in Mikami coveting him?”

 

“Because if a Sue feels no regrets,” Reiji said, “and it's in pain, screaming at a place where shrines and rituals have been performed for thousands of years, it can open a gate to hell.”

 

“A what,” L said flatly, this had to be nonsense.

 

“A gate to hell,” Reiji said, again, “you don't have to believe me for it to be true. If you won't accept the Buddhist ideal imagine a gate to somewhere unpleasant, a gate to a place that causes earthquakes and calamities, a door that shouldn't be opened, surely the concept isn't so unfamiliar.”

 

“But this is-” for once in his life, L felt somewhat lost, “these scrolls are vague but I'm assuming a vampire opening a gate to hell is a bad thing.”

 

“Some vampires live such long lives all they think about is the pain and suffering of others,” Reiji said, “I spent a long time in Makimi-sama's company. I know what he's like. The only thing he cares about is punishment. He might want to try to make Light regret his evil acts but no, I think what he wants is a window into eternal punishment. For himself or for others, it doesn't matter.”

 

“What purpose do I serve,” L said, his stitches still pulled and hurt when he crouched, “if Light ever felt regret, it had nothing to do with me. I was his enemy.”

 

“You also knew him best,” Reiji said, “and your friend as well was a familiar face during his childhood. They say when a Sue starts to hurt, it goes for the people who were closest to it first. It longs for images from its life before it died. Whatever memories you two have kept concerning Light, are powerful weapons. Your job is to keep that gate from opening, or to close it after it's opened. What happens to anyone else is incidental.”

 

“And my reward?” L asked.

 

“Mail Jeevas, Mihael Keehl,” Reiji said, “Nate River and Alver Astrom. It took quite a lot of effort to find those names but I have three thousand years of resourceful contacts at my disposal.”

 

There was a tense moment when L felt his hand twitch in anger, as though looking for something to hurl at the infuriating vampire.

 

“I'm a very good Go player,” Reiji said, “I like moving the pieces where I want them. The nice thing about a board game is that they rarely argue where they're placed, people unfortunately are much harder to get moving. Your friend Touta Matsuda is also at risk, though admittedly much more difficult to kill since a death note doesn't work on him. I can have my shinigami friends kill all of your successors or any of them, if you disobey any direct order. To a shinigami, human lives are unbearably cheap. And if you think the vampires are going to argue with an ancient Sue over a few, small human lives squandered under a technicality, you're delusional.”

 

Their names rang loudly in the room, like a dreaded echo.

 

“My resources are at your disposal,” Reiji said, calmly, “we'll help you succeed in any way we can.”

 

There was no choice at all, L would have to accept the case.

 


	12. The Pinned Doll

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays! This chapter has sex, internalized homophobia, unhealthy views on intimacy and other unpleasantness. But if you've made it this far, you're probably ready for more. If you have your bibs on and your forks and knives out for more BB, I can promise some good stuff in the next chapter after this one so be patient and you'll be rewarded with more wonderfully terrible things. Enjoy!

The Pinned Doll

 

XII

 

Light remembered the death note in his hands, carrying it back and forth from school. He had to be careful, anyone could catch him with it. He remembered testing out his device to keep it safe in his room, the fire burning as he watched excitedly in the derelict building with Ryuuk cheering him on.

 

These were the tangible, obvious memories Light held dear but there were others he had attempted to discard by forgetting. The vampire's touch had released them. The shame burned like an unquenchable fire, and all and Light could do was endure it until it went out.

 

High up above, Mikami had watched Light while he burned his test notebook, his inhuman stillness hardly noticeable. Ryuuk said nothing, like most things, it was none of his business so it didn't matter. This was the first time Light's instincts had noticed something odd but Mikami's glamour held fast and Light couldn't say what was putting him on edge, only that he felt unsure that they were alone.

 

After Raye Penber, Light felt magnificent. He felt like a god. It had gone off so well, he hadn't even noticed the still, cold man watching him from the train car that carefully followed his steps all the way home.

 

Like figments in Light's imagination, a strange, still man flitted in and out of his vision. There was an image of Mikami smiling at him after he had sent Misora Naomi to her death. Another time after Light had gone on a 'date' in Shibuya to find the fake Kira he had planted to lead L astray.

 

But _that_ had happened after Light had returned home from college. The game would end soon between Kira and L, for better or worse but Light was sure he was going to win.

 

Light was sitting on his bed watching the news, the death note wide open in his hands and all the names displayed of those who had been judged for the last three weeks. Glancing over, Light nearly swallowed his tongue. The man in a black suit with his glasses glinting had been sitting still like a sentinel at Light's desk, watching him for ages.

 

Light had been frozen stiff on his bed from fear. Who was this person? Had L sent them? How had he not known they were there all this time?!

 

“Leave us for a while, Ryuuk,” Mikami said.

 

“Hey,” Ryuuk said, “no screwing around with this one, he's got a note.”

 

“I'm not going to harm him beyond reason,” Mikami said, “and there's nothing you can do about a vampire choosing a victim. If I'm not going to kill him, you don't get a say.”

 

“Tch!” Ryuuk looked between them and apparently had decided Mikami wasn't worth arguing with, he had flapped his wings and flown off.

 

“Who are you,” Light had said, as stone still as his new visitor.

 

Before Light could panic a hand was pressed to his forehead and he felt the weirdest sensation. A preternatural calm descended. It was very much like being drunk.

 

“An admirer of Kira,” Mikami said.

 

“Have we met?” Light asked, the words coming out thick and slow.

 

“Never,” Mikami said.

 

The stranger had leaned in as his fangs had extended. With a terrifying surety, Light realized he had just met a vampire.

 

How strange vampires had seemed until that day, they were like wild panthers in some far away jungle. Acknowledged as existing but so far removed from his ordinary life that he hadn't even thought of them before, beyond the briefest imaginings as a child. They couldn't be killed with his death note but neither had they bothered to involve themselves in human affairs. Light had been perfectly safe from their interference, or so he had thought.

 

The pain against his neck was slight, little more than a pin prick. The stranger had only taken a mouthful before moving away. His tongue flicked out to lick a drop that had fallen and Light frantically couldn't help but think _that's my blood on his mouth!_

 

The terror he felt was strong and overwhelming.

 

But he couldn't move, could barely move his heavy, tired limbs.

 

“If you died as you were,” Mikami said, “you'd go to neither heaven or hell. Have you ever heard of the Buddhist concept Mu?”

 

“Yes,” Light said.

 

It was hard to explain when he felt drunken to the point of nearly passing out. The stranger slipped his cold, dead arms around his neck and whispered in his ear.

 

“It's a nothingness so deep,” Mikami said, “that anything you were, would never appear again on earth. All that fighting for godhood and recognition would be blown away, like sand in a windstorm.”

 

Shivering, Light tried to push the stranger away. His arms barely worked. What did the concept of Mu mean to him? He didn't believe in heaven or hell.

 

“So full of regrets,” Mikami said, so quiet it was almost a whisper, “they're spilling everywhere.”

 

“I don't regret,” Light said, he felt like he was choking on darkness, “not a single thing.”

 

Mikami pulled back from him and touched his cheek.

 

“Perfect,” Mikami said, quietly.

 

The stranger leaned into him and bit harder against neck. Light flinched, it hurt. But afterwards, a sensual throb went through his body. He felt like he was coming to life.

 

“Take some,” the stranger offered his wrist, “then when you die, you won't disappear.”

 

“I'm not going to get caught,” Light said, he must have been half over the side of his bed, head spinning from blood loss, “I'll win against L.”

 

“Take it all the same,” Mikami had said, his cold eyes in the darkness glowed red.

 

It was only a small cut, a little blood. He had no idea what he was being offered. The death note and all its glorious possibilities and his battle with L seemed very far away. Snatching the proffered wrist, Light drank it down greedily. Would this mean if he died he could still use the death note to make his perfect world for all eternity? He had no idea. But like everything in his life, he took what was given to him all the same.

 

It felt good. Drinking a vampire's blood felt so good!

 

“I can tell already,” Mikami said, “from your eyes. You're going to become a monstrous creature when you die.”

 

 _Not likely_ , Light thought, _I'm not going to die anytime soon. Not before the world is at my feet._

 

Liquid heat went through him, it was like a dream. An incredible dream. The stranger in his room and the blood he had given him and the biting...it was erotic. He hadn't felt like this in a very long time, in fact he hadn't felt like this since he was fourteen and feeling experimental.

 

Shame crawled up his back when he recalled what he'd done. Natural curiosity had motivated him to steal a porn magazine from the trash behind a convenience store to keep in his room but to his dismay, the cover had been misleading and it hadn't actually been women. It was all girlish looking men in silly outfits. At first he had snickered on his bed at their get ups, all that lace and stockings and kimono for women and the trashy, garish make up. The pictures of them having sex with men in all sorts of ludicrous positions. Then he had started to feel strange. Envious. They could do whatever they wanted, Light had to be the perfect son.

 

“I'll give you what you can't get from becoming god,” Mikami had whispered in his ear.

 

When Mikami had revealed his presence, Light was twenty-three but he still had the slim waste of his teenage years and the soft face. He knew his smile brought girls to their knees and made men burn with envy. His hair was styled and short and very, very soft to the touch. He dressed well, he knew exactly how to look to inspire confidence. But what he really desired beyond god like power...he had no idea.

 

At fourteen Light had wanked himself until he nearly chafed to that magazine. But it was risky, his mother almost caught him at it once and he found himself feeling sick after the act every time since. What would happen if his parents ever found it? He had to destroy it. This was how he had known about the derelict building in the first place, he had gone there to burn evidence of his first hormonal tryst. He would try harder, he resolved, to be as perfect as possible. How else could he look down on other people if he were flawed in any way? It would be hypocritical.

 

Without sexual distractions, Light was kind and perfect and well liked by everyone he met. With the vampire's blood hot in his veins, perfection had been burned away. _This was the vampire's real power_ , Light thought, they could show you the darkest part of yourself. Whatever you kept hidden away. It was dangerous, so dangerous to give in when so much was at stake.

 

Mikami's laughter was soft and fluttery in his ear. The stranger was a man, even if technically he was a dead one. And Light was a grown adult, he could get him to do things to him.

 

Just like the magazine.

 

“Yes,” Mikami said, “let me show you what being human means, _Kami-sama_. Then in the morning you'll forget and become god again. Nothing will be lost.”

 

A cold dead hand slid down his leg and Light felt that long ago tug, familiar and weird all at once. He had desires, burning hot inside him. He wanted to be spread out and held down, he wanted to be worshipped like the weird men he had seen in the pictures.

 

“ _Kami-sama.”_

 

The stranger's cold, dead breath was incredibly appealing and made it feel even more illicit. It would be their secret, no one had to know. Cold hands undid his shirt and helped him out of his trousers, Light's breath came out hard and fast. His heart pounded in his chest, he had never felt so aroused in his life.

 

The personal lubricant Light kept in his bedside drawer helped but the cold body was a bit unsettling, it didn't matter because, really, what Light wanted was to be pinned down. He wanted something more aggressive and mean. Mikami pushed his face into the pillow and pushed into him, the very moment the picture of obscenity in Light's head.

 

It was wonderful being pounded into like he was nothing, nobody of any worth. Happiness blossomed in his chest but he couldn't help but feel a tiny regret...

 

_L's features and L's hands...his annoyed face when Light moved his sugar over...his weird eyes...the way he snapped at him when he was in a bad mood, the way he pissed him off when L thought he was smarter but he'd win, he'd win, he'd win...and then L would be dead._

 

 _Wouldn't it be wonderful to be fucked by such an ugly man?_ Light surprised himself with the thought.

 

When he was riding him on top like the perfect harlot, he had wrapped his hands around Mikami's neck and imagined he was strangling L instead, as Mikami thrust inside of him.

 

If he closed his eyes he could be a woman, he could be a fourteen year old boy, he could be anybody he liked, even a god.

 

He could even be L's end.

 

The sound of a tea pot shattering ended the dream, reality closed in with all its darkness. Light crouched in the corner of the tatami room, his breath coming out in cold rasps, the broken porcelain he had thrown barely acknowledged. His face was wet, his hair dishevelled and the anger in his eyes immense.

 

“How could you do this to me-!” Light said, but he choked on his own words.

 

It was a lie. Mikami Teru had simply shown him what he really was through a debasement so vile Light didn't even know where to begin. He felt like he was going to smother to death on the taste of his own ugliness, the things he had been thinking when he'd done it! And then- he had acted it out again when he had killed L for real. An unfamiliar feeling crawled into his stolen blood; self loathing, heavy and thick.

 

“There's nothing to be afraid of anymore,” Mikami had said, his cold arms gathering up Light like a child, “when you want blood or anything else, take it from me.”

 

Shaking from rage, Light struggled in his stony arms but eventually relented. He had no choice, this man had stolen everything from him. He hadn't even remembered- _no, he did just a little._ Feeling strange and stiff the next day, his sister teasing him about a hickey on his neck. It was only a scratch, he had said. The strange scent and taste of another person had faded with the sunlight because that other person had been a _dead body animated by supernatural powers._ The same powers that had made him forget, as if it had been the vaguest of dreams. And that hadn't been the only night...there had been others that had played out similarly. Each worse and more debasing than the last.

 

Against Mikami's perfect black kimono Light screamed, the sound muffled by the dead arms embracing him.

 

As Light regained his memories there was a small train creeping up the mountains like a steel caterpillar, clinging to its hillside and trembling as it made its slow journey to the higher peaks. It was empty except for an elderly woman and a young family visiting friends in a remote village but no one could shake the feeling that they weren't alone, despite the fact that the other cars were vacant. The elderly woman pulled at her sweater with the bright, Chinese flowers and wondered why the cart seemed so cold. The little boy shivered to himself while watching his sisters argue and wanted to cry, for reasons unexplainable. And when he sat and stayed very quiet, he could hear the oddest voice coming from the cart behind them. It would slip his mind as soon as he acknowledged it was there but the lingering unease remained.

 

“I know it's difficult to accept that I'm dead,” L said into his cellphone, “considering that I'm still speaking to you right now but please try. Your life and the lives of the other successors are at stake.”

 

It was impossible for Matsuda to know that a young boy another cart over felt the same level of unease, although for entirely different reasons. The blood Matsuda had tried to drink that morning had gone down but the aftertaste had lingered. He'd plugged his nose and drank it from a tea cup but it had still been disgusting. It was a minor comfort that L had felt the same repulsion but with worse results because he had tried to ease the taste with sugar. It hadn't worked and L had been sick shortly after consuming it before they had left for the mountains; his dry heaves had even managed to pull a few stitches that had to be redone. Experimentation with flavouring was apparently out of the question, especially with someone who still had a neck partially open to the air.

 

The shabby black scarf L had pulled from somewhere helped and his worn blue jeans and long sleeved sweater echoed a vision of better days. But there was nothing to do for those terrible black holes in L's face. Matsuda had to fight the urge to climb out the window while looking at them. They were creepy and terrible and he kept seeing Light reflected in them as if he were going to kill them all over again...

 

“Breathe,” L snapped at him, “stick your head between your legs.”

 

Matsuda took in a deep breathe and did as he was told, he was on the verge of an anxiety attack he was sure of it. Vampirism had apparently neglected to cure what he had acquired on the day Light had been shot in front of his eyes. He hadn't been able to go to work for weeks; he had a panic attack every time he went near headquarters, he barely slept, he had just loafed around his apartment staring at the walls. It hadn't seemed real, it still didn't seem real.

 

_Yagami Light was Kira!_

 

“Yes,” L said into his phone, “I understand. We'll be heading to a remote location soon, the signal can only text. Don't ask what model they gave me, it will only disappoint. I can't say precisely, we were given vague directions. No. Yes, that might work. Keep your eye on their movements. A sniper won't do, get a harpoon preferably with an iron tip.”

 

 _A harpoon?_ Matsuda thought, bewildered.

 

“If things go badly,” L said, “there will be alternatives in place. Same to you, goodbye.”

 

The phone was clicked shut and L slumped into the seat in a lopsided fashion, his thumb in his mouth and holes in his face flickering like black mirrors.

 

“Matsuda,” L said, quietly, “listen carefully.”

 

Matsuda managed to lift his head from his knees, swallow a few times and nod his head.

 

“Have you ever played the game Go?” L asked him.

 

“No,” Matsuda said hesitantly, “but I understand the gist.”

 

“If I were to explain what kind of move we've found ourselves in,” L said, “I would say it was a _Sente_. A preemptive to strike to force someone into action, to gain the initiative. But in truth we're the _Hanami-ko_ , do you understand? The only side with a lot to lose.”

 

“I think I do,” Matsuda said.

 

“Matsuda,” L said, “The Yagami household collapsed last week.”

 

Matsuda nearly jumped out of his train seat, “What?!”

 

“Light's mother-” L said.

 

“Sachiko,” Matsuda said, his eyes beginning to water.

 

“The wooden beams on the ceiling fell on her, one leg was crushed. They managed to save it but it's going to be a painful recovery. The rest of the family managed to escape unharmed with only the clothes on their backs. The house caught fire and burned to the ground in the aftermath, they were very lucky to escape alive. The investigators have already ruled it a natural event caused by a small earthquake. This is not unusual in Japan. But isn't it strange that a highly specific earthquake happened in just that spot days after Light was thrown out? And the only one harmed was his mother? I believe she said something to him, possibly very cruel.”

 

“If she thought it was the right thing,” Matsuda said, “who knows. She was always so kind to me.”

 

“It's ironic that while Light was often assumed to be emulating his father, he was actually more closely emulating his mother,” L said, “I investigated their entire family in detail. Sachiko has a very strict and I would almost say, unforgiving moral compass. Knowing her background as I do, I would assume she had told Light to kill himself to spare the family more shame. I doubt that went over very well.”

 

“I thought his father would have said something like that,” Matsuda said, hesitantly.

 

“Remember that day at headquarters,” L said, “when Yagami-san said he would kill his son and then himself? That's a passive act. Sparing yourself the shame by ending your own life and taking responsibility away from the perpetrator. On a personal level I find it quite cowardly. Live to face the result of your decisions, no matter how bad. That's something I can appreciate.”

 

There was no way the chief was a coward but L's understanding of his character was thorough. He would have done something like that to spare others from more suffering, Matsuda was sure of it.

 

“What we're trying to do is understand Light's anger before he uses it to destroy everything he once held dear. The scrolls described a calamity, a curse that follows the Sue from its home outwards into the world. Unless the Sue is quelled in a pinning ritual, the curse has the chance to spread. Light's father and sister were sympathetic towards him, that might mean the curse hasn't spread to them yet. But it's only a matter of time. It's likely unless we can finish this matter soon, someone will die. The places Light felt connected to are also in the highest populated region in Japan. Even a minor earthquake can cause a lot of damage if it hits vulnerable areas. Imagine if the entire task force building collapse, trapping everyone inside. It's a grim thought.”

 

“Yeah,” Matsuda said, dismayed, “this is all so much. How is Light even doing this?”

 

“I don't understand it either,” L said, “it's all very much beyond the scientific realm I'm accustomed to. But so was the death note and we managed, so perhaps fate is on my side.”

 

It was difficult to agree looking at the holes in L's face and when Matsuda felt his stitches pulled taught against his arms. He wondered if it could be said they had anything on their side at all.

 

“Our main advantage is that Light is hurt and alone,” L said, “this means he's backed into a corner and getting more desperate by the minute. The other vampires will likely explain to him his duties and limitations, most importantly that everything he touches is cursed so that he has motivation to stay put. A Sue is viewed like a doll that has a specific function; they'd indulge him but also patronize him which he would find detestable. He's going to try to escape as soon as he can and I'm not sure if Mikami will help him, or make it worse. His goals are unclear.”

 

L paused in his conversation and then removed the thumb from his mouth. He sighed, his shoulders slumping as much as his injuries allowed.

 

“There is also another matter,” L said, “and one that's my own fault. An unclean spirit that had lingered after its death and attached itself to me has begun following Light instead. His name is Beyond Birthday, he was one of my successors.”

 

“That's good then,” Matsuda said, “he can help us!”

 

The look on L's face told him a different story altogether than the one Matsuda had assumed.

 

“I wish that were a possibility but the only side I can say for certain he is on, is his own. His death was unfortunate and convoluted, the circumstances of our parting were rather desperate. He isn't a friend but more of an old enemy. The problem is, the scrolls describe an ability Sue have to bring form and shape to unclean spirits. It's very possible that by the time we get there BB will have enough shape and substance to seriously impede our progress.”

 

“But he might still help?” Matsuda said, not entirely hopeful.

 

“His only venture into serial killing was done to get my attention,” L said, “by the time he met his end he had spent six years in a mental institution after failing to burn himself alive. My experiences with him after his death were brief but trying; imagine a close friendship gone sour, the kind of person who reminds you of bad times and enjoys hurling dangerous objects at your head when they feel neglected. His mental state was incredibly unstable and appears to have remained the same after death, I'm not entirely sure what he'll do if given the chance.”

 

 


	13. The Unclean Spirit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything is creepy in this chapter but I think you all know that by now. Enjoy your BB, I know I love that guy (and he's like, what, in one book and never seen again...sigh).

The Unclean Spirit

 

XIII

 

After the intensity came the quiet.

 

Light sat alone in the tatami room in complete darkness. His red kimono had turned the colour of blood in the shadows, his hands were tucked tightly inside his sleeves. A wash cloth and water basin sat next to him, he had used them to clean up his tear streaked face and now felt as pristine and whole as he had ever before. Vampires were monsters after all and he had been a victim of their deceit, the lies they had told him about himself were just illusions. None of it could be true.

 

Otherwise...it was too terrible to think about and wouldn't do him any good. He wasn't an emotional person, he had contained himself for so long during his game with L, aside from a few brief moments of anger. And now, it was as if he couldn't stop feeling. He had to get away from Mikami's cruel words and his blood that he freely offered. With the blood came more images, more false feelings and then despairingly he'd cry. It wouldn't do for someone who came so close to being god.

 

The hunger that ached in his stomach for human blood could be denied once he escaped. He was sure of it, he was very good at self control.

 

_Just not with L who he had killed without even thinking, without even..like a common murderer._

 

Light closed his eyes and forced the thoughts away. He considered his options.

 

The mountain temple was built overlooking the ocean, when Light sat very still he could hear the pounding surf. The men had carried him up from a boat that had banked near a remote village, Light overheard them in the next room talking about a shrine for the previous Sue they had maintained nearby. There were human beings who lived in the small towns and who came to worship in the tradition they had kept for mellenia. They never went near but there was some way they were coming close towards the temple.

 

The clacking of a Go game could be heard in the room along with loud, male voices. There was only a small hallway separated by several layers of shoji doors between this room and a kind of guard room decorated with wall mounted weapons, Light had noticed it as they were carrying him inside from the wedding. There had been several iron spears, an antique Japanese sword and a large spiked club. Light had no illusions, these were the weapons used during desperate times when a Sue attempted an escape. He wouldn't be able to leave through the front entrance that went down the mountain without facing serious injuries, the only other option was by the sea. It was possible there were several small islands along the inlet, which meant there were supply boats manned by other vampires.

 

It would be possible to steal one of the boats but Light wasn't entirely sure how to get through the cliff and into the mountain. Fortunately, he was in a position to find out.

 

“Good morning Kira-chan,” Misa said, sliding the door open, “I brought some things for you. Mikami-sama told me you were interested in making a shrine for spirit-san.”

 

The weird shadow loomed in the corner of the room, it seemed content to just hover and watch them and Light wasn't about to encourage it to get any closer. It still made him uneasy. It might be an enemy, or useful. It was impossible to tell.

 

“His name is Ryuuzaki,” Light said, “or at least, that's what L called him.”

 

“Good morning, Ryuuzaki,” Misa said, giggling, “we're going to build you a shrine. Please follow us under the ground.”

 

Misa wore a rather elaborate version of a miko priestess outfit but instead of the traditional red and white it was black hakama trousers and a blood red haori top. Her light hair was in its usual pigtails but it seemed whiter instead of blonde. There were black lace details along her sleeve edges and a few black coloured wara ningyo were hanging from her waist with red dots painted on their straw stomachs. They were wrapped around her waist with a thick white chord that looked like shrine rope.

 

“I don't suppose you have any normal shoes,” Light said, he always found himself a little off balance in geta, they were far less advantageous if he had to run.

 

She was carrying a pair of geta that were lacquered black and quite high. She pulled out red geta for Light from a storage chest and placed them on the ground.

 

“Misa likes modern things,” she said, “but Mikami-sama is a bit old fashioned. He makes the rules here so Misa follows them. But maybe Misa could bring you some shoes more to your liking to wear when he's not around.”

 

If the tacky gothic lolita get up had been any indication, Misa liked very ugly modern things. He should be thankful for the kimono, who knows what he'd be dressed in if she were in charge.

 

“Don't I get to choose anything for myself?” Light said.

 

Misa's saving grace was that she appeared easy to manipulate; her slavish devotion to his comfort was off putting but it would work out in his favour if he used it correctly.

 

“Oh no,” Misa said, her eyes going wide, “everything a Sue touches is cursed. When you're done with something, we have to burn it. Put on your Geta they're important, there are tides and things that flood the caves.”

 

Together they went from the shoji hallway down into a lowered, earthen room that had a fireplace with hot water boiling in a large pottery vessel. It reminded Light of history class, they had seen pictures of traditional Japanese houses before electricity had been invented and in the northern climate in Osaka, a curious heating system had evolved that used boiled water through the floors. It was now less of a curiosity since it had turned into an uncomfortable reality he had to experience. Everything was so old and dirty, he wanted to go back to Tokyo where the shining lights of the modern city lit up the night and he never had to face damp tatami mats again.

 

“There's a hallway through a storage room,” Misa said, “we'll come back up the other way that's closer to your room. The house is split into two, half for you and half for the rest.”

 

“Do people live here all year round?” Light asked, any pattern he could discern would facilitate his escape.

 

“In the summer more vampires come back from the villages to see the rites,” Misa said, “usually there are six vampires and a Sue staying here all year but the last Sue ran off with some friends. Mikami-sama will want to punish him when he comes back.”

 

The last bit was said with a cruel gleam in Misa's eyes that Light didn't care for. They went through the storage room and walked carefully down a wooden staircase that had been built into the bare earth. It became colder and the sound of water grew stronger. The ocean could be heard quite clearly through the earthen walls until they turned into stone.

 

“This way Kira-chan,” Misa said, in a cute sing-song, “then we can get spirit-san all settled.”

 

The eerie quiet settled over them as Misa walked ahead, a vampire's eyes were quite good in the dark as long as there was a little light but it was almost pitch black this far underground. Light made the mistake of touching the slimy walls only once, he used his sleeve covered hands to keep hold of Misa's rope belt out of necessity until they reached a wide chamber. Misa took a lighter from her pocket and lit some very decrepit looking metal oil burners that had probably been there for hundreds of years judging by the tarnish and rust. The oil however, was fresh and they lit immediately bathing the room in an eerie golden glow.

 

Clinging to her hakama, Light realized with some dismay that he was standing particularly close and Misa had that look on her face girls in high school used to get when Light would hand them back a pen they had foolishly dropped.

 

“Misa thinks Mikami-sama is very lucky,” she said, her strange eyes focusing on Light in an unsettling way, “if Misa weren't a priestess, she'd want to be your husband instead.”

 

Misa reached out and grasped his hand, she gently rubbed her thumb along the top.

 

“I don't think that's how it works,” Light said, yanking his hand from her cold grip, “besides, you're a woman.”

 

Misa giggled, “oh, that doesn't matter. The bride is the bride, the other one is the husband. It's not like we're still alive but people hold onto some strange things. Still, a priestess is a priestess in the same way. There's a man I'm training, actually I think you two look a bit alike. But you're much prettier and he was always so serious like Mikami-sama. Kira-chan seems like more fun.”

 

Every time she used the diminutive along with _that name_ it had Light trying not to clench his teeth but it was important to stay on Misa's good side. She was obviously smitten and would be more likely to do things for him.

 

“It's all right to call me by my real first name,” Light said, “you've done it before.”

 

“But Yagami Light is dead,” Misa said, “he's become Kira-chan.”

 

“But I haven't died again,” Light said.

 

There was a cutely frustrated look on Misa's face, she puffed her cheeks out and clenched her fists.

 

“Hasn't Mikami-sama told you anything? Sheesh,” she said, “after dying once, the Sue dies another time invisible to the physical world and takes on another name. Their spirit name.”

 

Light didn't follow but he didn't think he had to. These people were obviously crazy. Light slowly backed away from Misa, glancing to his left and let out an ungracious sound at the sight revealed in the lamp light.

 

“Misa,” Light said, he had gripped her sleeve to her delight when he'd become startled, “what is that?”

 

“The first Sue from Japan,” Misa said, proudly, “she's really beautiful, isn't she? Thousands and thousands of years ago she was born here and died in the same place.”

 

There were three open tunnels to the right when they first entered the chamber but the opening on the left was an alcove that had been in shadow until Misa had finished lighting the oil. Inside were the shrivelled remains of what looked like a small bodied woman, someone who had been a bit smaller and shorter than Misa. The face was terrible, like something from a horror movie, all green and withered. And the hair long and white framed the remains like a dress. There might have been a kimono mouldering away underneath it but Light didn't want to get near it to find out. He preferred his dead people written in a death note or safely behind glass in a museum.

 

“It's so romantic,” Misa sighed happily, “the Sue felt no regret and went mad when they pinned her, so they had to do terrible things to get her to go right again. But nothing worked. So they sent her husband to her as a sacrifice and after the devils took him as compensation she felt such regret, a hole opened up in the ground and she sank right into hell leaving her body behind. Light has nothing to worry about though, nothing like that will happen when Misa pins him. But the first Sue is a pretty good story, Misa can find you the scroll if you'd like to read it.”

 

Light stared at Misa.

 

“That's all right,” Light said, as a very slight tremble went through him.

 

With great difficulty he fought the urge to panic. There had been doubts at first because it had seemed so outlandish but clearly after listening to Misa's story, he had been brought here for some kind of sadistic ceremony. Pinning didn't sound pleasant and vampires were notoriously difficult to kill. He was certain his body could suffer a great deal before he'd even be in mortal danger.

 

“Where do the tunnels lead,” Light asked, abruptly changing the subject.

 

There was no way he'd become some kind of sacrificial doll for a bunch of lunatics that lived in the mountains.

 

“That one leads to the ocean, but it floods when the tide is in,” Misa pointed to the opening farthest way from them, “that one is to the Shinigami shrine. Reiji spent a lot of time there, he set up a Go game with the Shinigami and everything. I guess they get bored and like to gamble and Reiji was really good.”

 

Misa giggled as though remembering something very fond.

 

“Reiji was really smart and he even got the shinigami to do really weird things to people,” Misa said, “it was pretty funny. One time a shinigami even gave a person their eyes, I'm not really sure what happened to them after that but the shinigami got into big trouble! Mikami-sama was so mad!”

 

“The death note,” Light said, inside his stomach turned, “was it given back?”

 

“Oh no,” Misa said, looking bashful, “we're not really sure what to do with it. Kira-chan held it and everything, it might be cursed. Mikami-sama has to sort it out with the Shinigami King. Misa's glad she doesn't have that job, he's really strict. Actually, the shinigami who dropped the note is in big trouble too but that's a whole other thing...”

 

Maybe Light would feel sorrier for Ryuuk if he hadn't written his name down and killed him.

 

“This is the way to the spirit shrine,” Misa said, she grabbed his hand and hauled him forward.

 

She was very strong despite her size but she was also three thousand years old, it was to be expected. His geta clacked loudly against the stone floors and he nearly slipped when some seaweed got under his wooden heel. It was a perilous cavern but Light carefully retraced every step and pitfall in his mind so he would remember it. Misa's cold hand squeezed his with a childish delight but there was nothing innocent about her eyes, so still and mirthless under the put upon personality. Her touch made his skin crawl.

 

“This is where Kira-chan can appease his spirits,” Misa said, proudly showing off the decrepit alcove as if it were a fantastic find, “Misa has already brought a box of things she thought might be associated with spirit-san. Once you're done, it should be easier to talk to him! Spirits are really cool, Reiji made a lot of friends that helped him out quite a bit.”

 

The teaching Misa appeared again, with her comically serious face.

 

“I'm not that interested,” Light said, “I don't even know this man. He could be a terrible person and I'd be helping him out.”

 

“All unclean spirits are terrible people,” Misa said, she cocked her head to the side, “I guess maybe Kira-chan doesn't like that very much considering the things he did when he was alive. But I can promise that you'll at least have lots of friends! All unclean spirits want to get out of hell faster.”

 

“Misa,” Light attempted, “I don't want to help criminals. I wanted to destroy them, I certainly don't want to help them when they're dead.”

 

Misa made a frustrated sound, “Kira-chan isn't getting it.”

 

_This woman...!_ Had such a dingbat actually suggested he was lacking in the smarts department? Who did she think she was!

 

“A Sue can help evil people pay their karmic debt,” Misa said, with the air of someone who was trying to be patient, “it's a really important job.”

 

Quickly she scurried behind Light and began shoving him towards the alcove.

 

“Misa!” he objected.

 

His geta scraped loudly against the rock floor as he was pushed.

 

“It's all right to be scared,” Misa said, “everything is in the box right there, just set it up and we can both go home and tell Mikami-sama we did everything. Ok? Ok!”

 

“I'm not afraid,” Light snapped peevishly.

 

Suddenly, Light noticed. There was a small blood stain along the side that gave it away.

 

“This was L's,” Light said, feeling worse.

 

“Open it,” Misa chirped, looking proud.

 

With great caution, Light opened the box and wanted to be sick when he saw what was inside. The strong scent of strawberries assaulted his nose and the bright pink doll house hurt to look at in such a dark place.

 

“Misa thought they were cute,” Misa said, “and Mikami-sama said you felt bad about killing your weird friend so- I thought it would be nice to do something for the evil spirit that followed him around since there's not much we can do for him right now.”

 

“Why not,” Light said, “why can't I do something for him?”

 

It seemed important all of a sudden.

 

“Because he's not an evil spirit,” Misa said.

 

She had been right, L had been standing in the way of his justice but he hadn't been evil. Whatever state he existed in was probably far out of Light's reach now that he was a vampire.

 

“I didn't believe in heaven or hell,” Light said.

 

“Most people don't until it's too late,” Misa said.

 

There was a hint of sadness in her voice that Light could relate to, everything he loved to do during his life had been lost. He wasn't sure which way to turn and it was an unsettling feeling. All his life he had been so sure of himself and now he was cut asunder from everything he'd known.

 

Picking up the pink house, Light put it back together the way L had in his room. It was ugly, garish and stupid looking but it reminded Light of better times. The stone alcove was almost absurd decorated in such a way. Misa seemed happy with his efforts and pulled out some zari papers and red rope and made an official shinto decoration around the edges.

 

“It's a bit un-traditional,” Misa said, “but I think it's cute.”

 

It was hideous to look at but Light couldn't bare to say anything against it. They burned the incense and Misa said prayers in a Japanese so old, Light could barely understand it.

 

Feeling morose, Light returned to his room. After Misa was finished hovering around cleaning his geta and putting the room into an even more orderly fashion than it had been before, he was finally alone.

 

The other vampire's voices he could faintly hear through the shoji walls and with a sudden, intense despair Light realized that while he was laying on a futon because he felt unwell, vampires didn't actually sleep.

 

There was nothing to do until dawn.

 

He was bored already.

 

How could anyone do this for thousands of years?!

 

“It's kind of a let down that so much trouble in my life was because a shinigami lost a gamble,” a man's voice mumbled near his ear.

 

“Go away,” Light snapped, he hauled the futon blanket over his head.

 

He wasn't in the mood for visitors.

 

“Don't be sour. I only wanted to thank you,” the voice said, “for doing in my most hated enemy.”

 

Light moved his blanket aside and sat up. The room was entirely dark, there was no one present.

 

“I feel a little put out someone else got to it before I did,” the voice continued, “for certain, if I could go back in time I'd have smothered her to death from the start. But the numbers above her head weren't right so I waited, thinking I could use her.”

 

There was an awkward sounding laugh.

 

“That was _really_ stupid,” the voice said, “if I could take back anything, it would be that.”

 

Scrambling on his hands and knees, Light looked around for the man who was speaking to him. After a few tense minutes he began to see it, a shadow crawling along the ground. It looked like a man that was crawling on all fours, moving towards him.

 

Light felt an uncomfortable prickle all over his limbs, this was weird. Very weird. He wasn't used to this kind of thing.

 

“What would you take back,” the voice said, “Tsuki-chan?”

 

“It's read Light,” he said, automatically.

 

“ _L.._. _Did you know_ ,” the voice said, in a mocking deriding tone, “ _that shinigami love apples?_ That was cute. They also like chocolate too and oranges and others apparently love chopping up bits of themselves over games.”

 

Light stiffened with the shadow settled next to him, its form wavering into a more solid shape, a grinning mouth appearing along with slim limbs.

 

“Hello, _Kira-chan_ ,” the voice said, “it's nice to finally meet officially.”

 

The air around the spirit suddenly became colder and like an old Polaroid photo it began to gain shape and image. The hair was long and black, the shirt a bright blood coloured red followed by black trousers, its feet were clad in white sneakers and its eyes...its face...!

 

“Who are you?” Light asked, swallowing thickly, “Ryuuzaki?”

 

He was awful to look at and scarred all over, the man didn't even have a nose. His mouth was a Cheshire cat grin from lack of lips. His hair was intact but lank and limp from being scorched. And his eyes were the strangest part of all, they reminded Light of Ryuuk. Red and nearly bulging from the sockets because they lacked lids.

 

“Beyond Birthday,” the man said, he posed like L in a crouch with a thumb in his mouth and took on his voice, “Ryuuzaki Rue is my alternate alias.”

 

Light could barely look at the ugly imitation.

 

“L is dead,” Light said.

 

“Oh, I know that already,” the man said, “that was quite a show, good job. You're a real A+ murderer.”

 

“I'm not,” Light snapped, “a criminal.”

 

“Ah but I think you are,” Beyond Birthday looked at him with his strange eyes and laughed an ugly shinigami laugh, “ _deep inside!_ ”

 

“Shut up,” Light said, this was worse than listening to Ryuuk, at least he'd leave after Light had given him enough apples.

 

“How many,” Beyond Birthday said, counting on his burned, spindly fingers, “that was 65,549 people...add two more and that makes...65,551,”

 

“I didn't mean for them to die,” Light hissed, “it was an accident.”

 

“I think you meant for L to die,” Beyond said, his voice taking on a silky tone, “he thought you were the best thing since sliced cake and I'm so happy...!”

 

Beyond Birthday's cold, creepy hands grabbed Light's wrists.

 

“ _So happy...!”_

 

His smile was even uglier when it grew larger and the skin looked like it was about to split. His voice became a raspy, high pitched shriek.

 

“ _Kira-chan!_ You killed me but what a gift in return! Making L into the living dead!”

 

“He's alive?” Light said, hollowly.

 

“That's right Kira-chan,” Beyond said, gleeful, “ _There's still time for another game!_ And I...! I know where the death note is!”

 

 


	14. The Shinigami Court

 

The Shinigami Court

 

XIV

 

The flutter of so many wings in the air was a cacophony the shinigami world hadn't heard in many an age. So many shinigami had come from all over the land, even ones that had lived so long other shinigami had forgotten that they had existed at all. From the skies floated a cretinous black substance with dozens of eyes, a beetle-like man with red slashes all over its body, a long haired creature that wore a mask made of human skin and a walking skeleton with bone wings that looked ready to crumble into dust at any moment. Its eyes were the only flesh left on its body and it observed with excitement, as did every other shinigami, the court that was set up in the middle of the dusty realm.

 

This was an unusual day, this was a sentencing day for a shinigami that had broken the rules.

 

“He pushed too far,” Gook said, “I knew he'd get it.”

 

“That human became a vampire,” Deridovely said, “they're beyond reproach. Everything should be forgiven.”

 

“But he stole the death note back and now it's cursed. Ryuuk just let it happen,” Gook countered, “he might be liable. Remember what happened the last time?”

 

“It's not his note,” Deridovely said, “didn't you see Sidou's flyers?”

 

Ugly laughter broke out, they all thought Sidou was such a fool. A death note was free game if one fell or was found in the hands of another death god. Ryuuk might get away because Sidou would have to take the blame.

 

There was a low rumble that shook the bones in the desert and made the shinigamis' teeth rattle, everyone became quiet and huddled closer to the cave rising from the earth. Hooks flew out from its dark mouth and embedded themselves into the rocks around the opening, chains extended from the centre and all the shinigami watched eagerly as the Shinigami King appeared from the mouth of the cave. His skull glinted white and his eyes greedily looked over the dry and dusty gathering, all his subjects that were under his command. To his right stood his assistant, Armonia Justin Beyondormason, a skeletal figure with a face covered in jewels.

 

“Ryuuk!” Armonia said, gesturing with his bony hands.

 

From the sandy earth sprung up a stone circle with Ryuuk chained to it, sputtering sand from his mouth.

 

“Gelus!” he said.

 

From the gathered crowd, a small baby like creature hobbled its way towards the Shinigami King, worry in its eyes.

 

“Nu!” he said.

 

Another loud rumble had the sand and bones tumbling to reveal a strange, tall stone-like structure with multitudes of eyes swivelling around. They focused on Ryuuk, then Armonia and finally on the throngs of eager looking Shinigami.

 

Ryuuk would have sweated quite a bit at her appearance, if he could. She was very smart and knew all the rules, even the ones other shinigami had forgotten about.

 

“The poisoned death note!” Armonia said.

 

With his bony hand in the air, he paused for gravitas.

 

There was an overwhelming silence.

 

“ _The poisoned death note_!,” Armonia repeated.

 

After some time, the shinigami began to shuffle restlessly.

 

“Where is the death note?” Armonia asked.

 

No one said a word.

 

“That's a bummer,” someone mumbled in the crowd, “there won't be a trial at all without it.”

 

In an orphanage near London, a blond boy scribbled equations in his notebook and tried to ignore the obnoxious sounds coming from behind him.

 

“Where is it?!” the voice shrieked, “It won't get fixed if I don't present it to the King!”

 

With a hopeless sounding wail, Sidou dropped to his knees and whined harder in despair. The sound of a thick book hitting the wall made Sidou look up from his moaning to see a very angry looking boy glaring at him.

 

“If you don't shut up,” the boy said, “I'll make you shut up.”

 

It was unlikely a small, blonde human boy could make a shinigami quiet by force but Sidou found the tiny human quite frightening when angry. He was sure that the boy others called Mello would find ways to make Sidou very uncomfortable, if he put his mind to it. It was best not to motivate him to try.

 

“We could find it together?” Sidou offered hopefully.

 

The little human was smart, fantastically unlike any creature Sidou had ever known. Admittedly, that list wasn't long but it still seemed impressive.

 

“If I don't study,” Mello said, snapping his notebook shut in a threatening manner, “then I can't beat Near. And if I don't beat Near, that makes me angry.”

 

Sidou shivered. Human ambition was a terrifying thing.

 

“How am I supposed to help you find that stinking notebook anyway, when I can't even fly?” Mello said, “But I'll take pity and tell you it disappeared off the table right after Matt came by.”

 

“Ah?” Sidou said, making hopeful noises.

 

“Along with his furry headband,” Mello said.

 

“Ah!” Sidou said, if he could have begun sweating, he would have.

 

That was Zellogi who loved to gamble, at the mountain shrine! He might be handing it over to Reiji-sama right that second! Sidou grabbed the remaining chocolate from the desk and spread his wings, leaping through the wall.

 

“Hey!” Mello shrieked, “That's my chocolate!”

 

It would be worth the severe verbal punishment Sidou would receive when he returned if he could get that notebook back.

 

In the shinigami realm, Ryuuk was thanking his blessings. Maybe a little bit of his old human's luck had rubbed off on him, it seemed no one could find the poisoned death note. Which meant no evidence.

 

Which meant no trial.

 

He was saved!

 

Scanning the crowd, Armonia noticed a few key absences. His bejewelled brow twitched in irritation, he'd have to send someone to retrieve it from those two losers...no doubt there would be more trouble if he didn't.

 

“Ryuuk,” Armonia said, “you're free to go.”

  
The chains fell away, Ryuuk cheered and whooped. Some of the shinigami seemed disappointed there wasn't going to be an execution.

 

“Under one condition,” Armonia said, “you must find that death note.”

 

Ryuuk stopped his cheers.

 

“Uh,” he scratched his head, “how am I supposed to do that?”

 

“That's for you to discover yourself,” Armonia said, “don't come back until you do. Or the result will be level five.”

 

'Oohs' and 'Aahs' followed, eager to see such a punishment enacted in a realm that hardly every changed.

 

“Come back soon, Ryuuk!” a shinigami shouted, cheerfully.

 

“As if!” Ryuuk said, “I'm not going to end up entertainment for losers!”

 

Without any further delay, Ryuuk spread his wings and took off. At least he had some idea where to start, wherever Light had been brought to he was sure there would be a death note nearby.

 

 _What a fun human he was_ , Ryuuk thought, _if I'm lucky, he'll be just as fun dead as alive!_

 

 


	15. Spirit Artifacts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're reaching what I fondly call the 'final arc' of this story. I hope you're all enjoying it so far. The promised L/Light romance is going to begin sliding in soon...I hope you're all ready for what happens next.

_XV_

 

Excerpt from Spirit Artifacts And The Effects On Human Beings

 

_**The Death Note** _

 

_Mikami Teru_

 

Nothing is so strange as the Death Note and its effects psychologically on the user. Human beings are intrinsically flawed and whimsical creatures but the death note twists these natural inclinations into something much more sinister. Of course, humankind in all its myriad forms can be cruel and wantonly destructive on its own but the note and the shinigami power it holds pushes human will to its breaking point. The only equivalent I can even consider in three thousand years, is the atom bomb but even that is too broad. Imagine holding every single life on earth in your hands with the knowledge of a name; the power is great enough to imagine it's almost staggering.

 

In three thousand years, I have witnessed the appearance of this book four separate times in Japan.

 

The first incident was the most memorable. It was the 12th century at that time and the death note took the form of a rolled up black scroll. It was called a Bleak Afterlife Tablet by the man who had found it due to the instructions inside (the owner of a death note after writing in it, will go to neither heaven or hell when they die). The messenger told me that the general found it curious but had no use for it as he couldn't retrieve the names of every invading military soldier and dispatch them. He had written the names of some people he found inconvenient, useless or otherwise detrimental to society. Afterwards he had been taken by a fit of melancholy that wouldn't alleviate. The remaining men in his village had decided it was cursed and should be removed somewhere else before anyone tried to use it without knowing the full consequences.

 

After being given the scroll, I studied the scroll from a removed standpoint; vampires are not effected by its powers directly or indirectly as we have no lifespans and therefore, no life for shinigami to take. After some time a very strange creature appeared to me. It demanded that if I wasn't going to pass it on to someone who could use it, I was obliged hand it over to its original owner. I returned the scroll on the condition that I could ask questions about the shinigami realm, somewhere I had read very little about in my studies. Lucky for me, it found the experience amusing and I became friendly with the Shinigami King's main assistant; Armonia Justin Beyondormason.

 

There are many things he taught me that I recorded and those scrolls are now in the hands of Bat Temple in Koya-san, to the best of my knowledge they have entirely been kept out of human hands all these centuries.

 

The general eventually retired to a monastery to live a spiritual life, hoping the Buddha would enlighten him so he could avoid his final fate. He didn't live longer than a single year, his mental disturbances becoming too great and he flung himself from the top of a mountain. The villagers insisted that he prayed all the way down, exclaiming the state of nothingness was preferable to the guilt he had endured. The other two times were essentially the same, I travelled to the supposed drop point only to meet with a suicide, a murder and rumours of madness that were treated in various local temples to no effect. I cannot speak for the veracity of Buddha's mercy but I can say without question that the Death Note in all its myriad forms over the centuries, is truly to be feared by human beings. Only a person with incredible, more accurately, inhuman immorality could ever hope to wield a death note and not suffer the incredible mental consequences.

 

If I were pressed to describe what kind of human being would be able to wield the note without facing madness and despair, I would say it would be a child like person instilled with a sense of furious righteousness, who entirely lacks introspective depth. If the twentieth century has taught vampires anything, it's that humanity will do unspeakable things in the name of ideology. Even fascist ideas that are so far removed from actual human experience that to follow them as a rhetoric is flirting with insanity.

 

That is the kind of person who would unflinchingly kill with a death note; one who is too blinded by their own superiority to defeat the darkness within themselves. Truly, a pitiful creature.

 

 


	16. The Regretful Bride

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some amazing documentaries about Aokigahara forest and I highly rec. checking them out if you like real life creepiness. It's also a beautiful area in general with a fabulous view of Mt. Fuji. In any event, this chapter has torture and blood in it and 100% more Misa.

The Regretful Bride

 

XVI

 

The shoji doors were slammed open and four vampires looked up at the menacing person glaring down at them from behind his honey coloured fringe. His red kimono highlighted the darkness in his eyes and the early light of dawn caressed the flowing, red kimono. His hair was a little dishevelled from being denied its usual styling for the last few weeks but that made him look even more wild and graceful, like something out of a folk tale. The young man made an exceptionally beautiful vampire; none of the other vampires would ever argue that, no matter what they thought of Mikami's strange taste in brides.

 

“Hey,” the blonde man said, “what's up?”

 

“A pack of dogs would have better manners,” Light said.

 

Glaring at them with the greatest disdain, Light used the bottom of his foot to upturn the heavy Go board with a strong shove. The black and white pieces went everywhere and the vampires scrambled to get out of the way.

 

“Oi!” the ugly man shouted, “what do you think you're doing?”

 

The blonde man grabbed Light by the arm and pulled him forward.

 

“That's a funny thing to say when you're lacking manners of your own,” he said, his face a few inches from Light's, “you're our guest not the other way around.”

 

Staring into the lovely almond eyes, the blonde man became easily distracted and didn't notice the slim hand sliding into his deep hakama pocket and retrieving what he carried.

 

“Hey now,” a heavy set bald man said, “when Mikami-sama is busy, I'm the boss around here. Let Kira-chan speak his piece. What seems to be the problem?”

 

“It's too noisy,” Light said, “I can barely hear myself think.”

 

Shoving the blonde away, Light glared at them all and made a disgusted sound.

 

“I'm not sure what Mikami-sama was thinking hiring a bunch of layabouts,” Light said.

 

The use of the honorific had a deriding, mocking tone that made the other vampires uncomfortable. No one messed with Mikami, except the new Sue seemed to think he could do whatever he liked. He seemed to enjoy watching them squirm like worms on a hook, relishing their discomfort as he skirted their beloved taboos without care for consequence.

 

“I was winning,” the white haired man said bitterly.

 

“You would have lost in three turns,” Light said, “any idiot could have seen that. I'm not sure what's sadder, that you were losing or no one else seemed to notice. What a pathetic bunch.”

 

The vampires didn't say a harsh word out loud against Light because it was forbidden but their expressions became notably sour.

 

“There's nothing worse than a sore loser,” Light said, offering a smile, “keep it down, or I'll get Misa. Then she'll tell Mikami-sama all about your derelict behaviour.”

 

While Misa was very cute, she took her duties quite seriously and would tell Mikami-sama in an instant that things weren't going smoothly if her darling Kira-chan said so.

 

Sweeping his kimono around his body to cover his legs, Light stepped over the stone pieces he had upset and paused briefly at the threshold of his room.

 

“Don't bother to gossip about me after I leave,” Light said, “I've heard enough stupid conversations about my bedroom habits when I was alive.”

 

He stalked away, snapping the shoji doors shut behind him.

 

Three of the vampires began laughing uproariously once he was a safe distance away, while one looked extremely annoyed.

 

“He sure showed you Takashi!”

 

“What a bitchy person,” Takashi said, “Higuchi, why didn't you bring Reiji back and spare us from this little shit's temper tantrums?”

 

“There's something about Kira-chan,” Higuchi said, “that I admire.”

 

“Huh?” the other two looked at him strangely.

 

Everyone had the notion that spending a lot of time with Reiji had made Higuchi weird somehow, this was only confirmed by his statement.

 

“I can see it,” Ooi said, “there's a real strong spirit in there.”

 

The bald man was an ancient and considered the boss of the other three by default. He enjoyed bossing his underlings around and claiming special consideration from Mikami-sama. It wasn't entirely the truth, the only person Mikami-sama gave extra attention to was generally Misa because she was just as crazy as he was about pinning ceremonies.

 

“Despite that he's an awful shit,” Takashi said, speaking aloud what everyone else was thinking, “I don't know what Mikami-sama was thinking. That boy is going to be trouble.”

 

“Misa can handle him,” Ooi said, “she's cute but she packs a wallop.”

 

Kida and Hatori were attempting to right the Go board and put the pieces back together but there was no salvaging the results of their game. Instead, blood tainted with sake was brought out from a cupboard and drinks were spread around.

 

“Maybe we should offer some next door,” Takashi said, “it might loosen him up a little, hell we might all get laid!”

 

Offering human blood to Sue was forbidden since even the slightest drop made them crazy but the thought had them all cackling in cruel delight. After a few drinks, everyone felt better about their spoiled game and talk turned to gossip around the temple.

 

“What's there to admire about him, Higuchi,” Takashi asked, “he's real pretty but the rest is crap.”

 

“When I went looking for Reiji a while back, I read the papers hoping to find some evidence of where he went,” Higuchi said, “the news was all about some guy named L versus Kira.”

 

Kida said, “I remember Mikami-sama talking about that. Wait, isn't that Kira-chan? Since he's dead, he must be sore about losing.”

 

“That would explain a lot,” Takashi said, bitterly.

 

“Admit it, the fact Kira-chan was so smart and went so far before he died is impressive. The international police came down on him hard, or tried to. The thing is, I heard Misa talk about some guy named L coming back to life,” Higuchi said, “who knows, we might get a new recruit who is just as famous as Kira-chan.”

 

“Sue usually kill people they really like,” Kida said, “not their enemies.”

 

“Are you kidding me?” Higuchi said, “Use your head. This guy is all twisted up inside, he's not like Reiji. He was a decent person who became a monster, this guy was a monster from the start. A real heartless bastard, when he became a Sue it only got worse. I bet Misa will be real happy with all the punishment he can take.”

 

As cute as their priestess was, no one ever dared cross Misa. They had seen the work she had done on Reiji and the way she gleefully enacted Mikami's punishments, no matter how harsh.

 

“How did the search go?” Ooi asked.

 

“Shimura and Mido found Reiji,” Higuchi said, “they haven't brought him back yet but I have no doubt they will. Besides, Mikami-sama needs us all here in case Kira-chan tries to make a run for it.”

 

“He's not that stupid,” Kida said.

 

“Shit,” Takashi said, “my keys are gone.”

 

The four men regarded one another with a mounting realization.

 

“When Kira-chan gave us a dressing down,”Ooi said, “he made eyes at Takashi.”

 

Scrambling from the floor, they quickly armed themselves with the weapons off the wall. It had been hours, the Sue could be anywhere.

 

The thing that surprised Light the most about the world when he was a child growing up was how people rarely noticed what was going on right under their nose. When he had been eight he had developed a jealous streak concerning Matsuda Touta, while the teenager was studying for his entrance exams to become a police officer. Light had done all sorts of things to shake Matsuda's confidence when he came by for tutoring, including hiding his keys, eating all the mandarins while he had fallen asleep on the kotatsu and other obnoxious things to make it look like Matsuda was far less competent than he really was. It had really shaken the young man who stammered and stumbled through embarrassments and incidences that weren't even his fault. But to Light's dismay, Matsuda had still passed the test and the whole family had to celebrate with Light's father. They had travelled to a crummy apartment in a bad side of town where Matsuda's aging aunt and uncle lived. It was a shabby, vile place and the only food they offered came from a convenience store nearby. Boxed lunches and reheated packaged food but his father had eaten it without complaint and even his mother gave him a look that said to do as their father was. Light remembered the many sweets Matsuda favoured being served at the table and how much he had begun to despise sugar from that one soured event. But it had proved a very important hypothesis, the less people expected the culprit the easier it was to get away with the heist, Light had never been caught foiling his father's future underling.

 

Light admired the key he had filched from Takashi's pocket with his little display earlier. He had been listening to their loud conversations for hours. He had learned that the path that led outside into the flooding tunnels was actually misleading. There was some other way that Mikami used to get to the surface. Misa would be away preparing a shrine leaving the four buffoons in charge until one of them returned and Mikami wasn't due back for some time due to preparations for some event no one seemed to know any details about. They had spilled just about everything from one stupid Go game in Light's presence, if he had waited another day he could have likely learned enough to escape flawlessly but he couldn't put it off. Not when Misa was 'preparing' sadistic torture for his immediate future.

 

The vampires were enormous idiots. For creatures that had lived over a thousand years, they had become so lazy. It reminded Light fondly of Ryuuk and the way he'd groan over the slightest effort and demand twice the usual apples as payment.

 

“What's making you so happy,” Beyond gloomily asked him, “I don't like it when people who aren't me are smiling.”

 

“Nothing,” Light said, the key warming his hand.

 

“They'll have to destroy that after you're done with it,” Beyond said.

 

“They didn't destroy the ugly pink shrine I touched that L got for you,” Light reminded him.

 

“The curse wasn't strong enough yet,” Beyond said, he jabbed his thumb into his mouth and took on L's voice, “there's a 76% likelihood you won't believe the curse even exists until you see the results.”

 

“That's creepy,” Light said, flatly.

 

“Considering what I look like,” Beyond said, “that says a lot about your priorities. Do you still think L will come for you?”

 

“He'll come for the death note,” Light said, “which is why I have to find it first. It's my note!”

 

A terrible possessive wave engulfed him, he would do anything to get that notebook back.

 

“I think Kira-chan doesn't realize just how strong his curse is,” Beyond said, “ancient vampires, cute gothic lolitas, even the greatest detective in the world is after him.”

 

“Don't make me sick,” Light said sharply, the shame induced by Mikami's revelations still clung to him like sticky webbing.

 

Down into the caves they walked, Light's geta scraping along the stones slick with seaweed while Beyond's eerie spectre hovered nearby. Light couldn't say what it was but something about the way Beyond looked at him was unsettling. Like he was a means to some end that Light wasn't aware of yet.

 

“Look at that,” Beyond said, his voice an uncanny approximation of L's flat tone, “it's the first Sue. How incredible. She looks colourful for a corpse so long in the ground, doesn't she?”

 

The mummy sat in the place Light remembered it, there would be three other openings around it and one would lead outside, he was sure of it. But which one?

 

Swallowing his repulsion towards a dead body, Light leaned in towards the mummified Sue and examined her closely.

 

“Moss,” Light said, quietly, “it's green and growing all over her.”

 

The right side of her body was closest to the shinigami shrine, it was very likely that the air from that pathway came from outdoors. It would make sense if Mikami visited that particular area more regularly than the rest that there would be a way out that would avoid the massive, flooding tides.

 

Creeping along the moist pathway, Light could see just a bit of what was ahead of him. Vampires didn't have superb eyesight in the dark but it was almost like his intuition was sharper, he could feel things more clearly that he would have had trouble noticing before. He knew how wet the ground was and could predict when he would slip, he could feel along the rocky walls and find the right place to grip. The supernatural powers vampire's had were often much more subtle than what literature and folk tales implied.

 

Blue light came from the bottom of the cave entrance, Light kept back while Beyond whizzed passed him in an overly excited way.

 

“There's someone-” Light started.

 

“Papa!” Beyond said, in a light hearted tone.

 

“Hey!” a strange voice came from the shrine, “look at you, all dead and stuff! How's it going?”

 

“It's been better,” Beyond said, “now give me what I asked for, shinigami Papa.”

 

Light darted forward and saw the Shinigami shrine. At first he was confused, was that a monster? But his eyes cleared up from the shock of light in such a dark place and he saw it was a massive pile of bones arranged asymmetrically in the shape of a shrine. It must have taken years to construct, even with a vampire's supernatural abilities. In the centre a rather odd looking creature sat that Light recognized as one of Ryuuk's fellow shinigamis.

 

Then it hit him, he hadn't touched this creature's death note. He could see shinigami naturally!

 

“This is the guy,” Beyond said, referring to Light in a casual way as though he was hardly worth mentioning, “the one who poisoned the death note.”

 

“Huh,” the creature said, looking at the space above Light's head, “ _Kira._ What a funny sounding name. Keep care of it mind, if they found out who took it I'm in a world of trouble.”

 

“I'll be extra cautious Papa,” Beyond said, taking the note.

 

Light lunged at him, “That's my note!”

 

“Ah-ah,” Beyond said, in a sing-song voice, “you're going to have to take it from me fair and square.”

 

“It doesn't belong to you!” Light shrieked.

 

“It doesn't belong to you either,” Beyond said, giggling, “it belongs to the Shinigami King!”

 

The laugh that came out of Beyond was something that would have given Light goosebumps if he'd been alive, it was like Ryuuk at his worst. All coldness and dark, promised threat.

 

“Follow me, Kira-chan!” Beyond snickered.

 

Vanishing through the roof in an impossible way, Light let out a frustrated scream.

 

“ _You!_ ” Light said, turning to the shinigami.

 

It pointed to itself, as if making sure Light was referring to it even though there was no one else around.

 

“Where did he go with it,” Light said, “why did he take it? Tell me!”

 

“I dunno where he went,” the shinigami said, scratching its skull shaped head, “but don't be mean to him, he's like my son.”

 

“Your son?” Light said, nastily, “What a proud father you must be, since he got himself killed by botching up his own suicide.”

 

“Hey,” the shinigami said, “don't make fun. He had a tough start, especially when I lost my eyes in a bet and they fell right into his head. Heh, that was a bad move. The Shinigami King made me take care of his parents before they noticed something strange so I felt kinda responsible after that but you know, when he was alive he never touched the death note. Said it wasn't fair to win that way...”

 

“I don't care about what's fair or what isn't,” Light said, “tell me where he's gone!”

 

“I told you,” the shinigami said, “I don't know. But there's another shrine right above our heads, vampires can travel from one to the other like that, you can find him yourself.”

 

It took a few seconds to make sense but Light realized that was what Mikami and the others had done. Whenever a vampire had disappeared and reappeared it had probably been from a shrine on one floor into a shrine on another. It was how Mikami would have travelled between the surface and the underground passages without having to swim through rough, seaweed infested tunnels.

 

Trying with all his might to visualize what a shrine might look like above ground, Light felt himself shift in the strangest way. An incredibly loud cacophony of noise filled his ears, it was like drumming, screaming, pounding sounds all at once. Then he felt coolness across his arms, opened his eyes and saw he was in a very deep, dark forest.

 

It reminded him of Aokigahara forest, a place he had begrudgingly gone hiking as an elementary school student with some school friends. It had been a creepy place because of the darkness but also because there were so many ghost stories about it, along with very real suicides that took place there every year. They had even come across a place marked off with police tape on their hike, no doubt evidence of someone having attempted to take their own life. It had been thrilling and fun at the time but the cold silence in the forest he inhabited now, it was an unwelcome reminder. Behind him was a grim looking shrine that was clearly in need of a good cleaning and repair. A red painted devil holding a massive club was in the centre of it, sun faded and moss covered, nearly worn out by time.

 

Light shivered with a strange feeling of dejavu. Just where had he gone when he phased out and came back again?

 

Abandoning the geta that would only serve to slow him down, Light walked barefoot through the dark woods until he came across a decrepit looking building with an old fashioned sloped roof. Stepping onto the ruined patio, the wood creaked dangerously. It looked dark, dank and unwelcoming but Light could hear over the hush in the forest that someone was moving around inside.

 

“Beyond Birthday!” Light snarled, he snapped open the doors with so much force they fell off their wooden rails.

 

No one was inside, there wasn't a sound. There was a smell, very feint and strange that overpowered the dampness and mildew that Light couldn't place.

 

“Over here,” Beyond's voice echoed in the empty room, “or do you still want it? I guess I could burn it.”

 

“Give it back!” Light screamed, forgetting all caution and stumbling into the room.

 

The shoji doors righted themselves and snapped shut.

 

“Naughty Kira-chan,” Misa's voice said.

 

She appeared out of the darkness in her priestess robes but with a new, rather alarming addition. In her hands she held a heavy black mallet and an iron stake.

 

“I was hoping Kira-chan would be good,” Misa said, “but it's okay if he's bad, that just means we can practice before the ceremony.”

 

Several candles burst into light, Beyond was lurking at the back of the room his Cheshire smile glinting. Misa had her wara ningyo dangling from her waist and ominously, the dolls looked more alive and red than they had before.

 

“Misa,” Light attempted, “I'm sorry if I caused you any inconvenience. But I haven't done anything wrong. I'm not used to living away from home-”

 

“Misa's sorry Kira-chan is having a hard time adjusting,” Misa's wide doll like eyes seemed genuinely contrite, “but Misa's not sorry at all about what she's going to do to you.”

 

Her childish features lit up with a hideously stretched out smile, baring her fangs.

 

Three new candles lit up to Light's right and he could clearly see the awful stains along the floor that had been engulfed in darkness until that moment. They were blood stains in the shape of people, spattered patterns where suffering and torture had occurred.

 

“Stop this,” Light said, backing up into the shoji walls.

 

They felt hard, as though their wood and rice paper construction had solidified into cement. There was no escape for Light by trying to crash through them or by flinging his whole body against their wooden beams.

 

“Spirit-san,” Misa said, “would you mind helping out?”

 

Light screamed when a cold dark shadow wrapped around his arm and pulled him violently to the floor in a single swipe. Loud, shrieking laughter came from Beyond while Light tried to pull away.

 

“Do you know how many years they take off my karmic debt for holding you down?” Beyond said, eyes wide in his burned up face, “One hundred for every stroke.”

 

“This is the purpose of evil spirits?” Light said, frantically hauling his body this way and that, hoping to dislodge him, “You said they were helpful, Misa!”

 

“We're helping them out,” Misa said, calmly, “their debts are lifted while they help you do what you need to do. It's hard staying still even when Sue are used to it and want to do what's right for everyone's sake.”

 

“I don't want to,” Light tried, his voice raising in pitch and frantic exclamation, “I'm not part of your stupid cult! I don't want to be a vampire anymore! Beyond! Help me!”

 

“While I admire your abilities and capacity to trick L,” Beyond said, “killing him in such an ungraceful manner was hardly fair.”

 

Beyond grinned at him.

 

“I also love wara ningyo dolls.”

 

Light's eyes widened and he thought they would roll back and he would feint but Misa's sudden, heavy steps rapidly approaching kept him aware enough to try and stop her heavy hammer from striking. As she lifted her mallet and positioned her stake Light did the only thing he could do; he tried to defend himself with his other hand.

 

“Not a good idea,” Light heard Beyond mumble just as the mallet fell.

 

It really hadn't been. The stake had gone through both hands at the same time.

 

Light screamed, an ugly inhuman sound. He wailed like he hadn't ever before, his voice breaking and clawing into tight, heaving sobs. Both hands were hammered into the tatami floor by a massive iron stake and the pain was excruciating, it burned from the injury all the way through to the veins themselves. It felt worse than getting his head blown off because the pain hadn't stopped with the blackness that came with death, it kept going and getting worse with each, excruciating second.

 

“Kira-chan is doing well,” Misa said, “but you're stuck so we're going to have to try again.”

 

Light could feel saliva falling from the corner of his mouth, he was going to be sick from the pain.

 

“No Misa,” Light said, his voice more pitiful than he had ever heard it before, “please, not again.”

 

“There's no regret coming out,” Misa said, “it's not good enough. Spirit-san, let's pull them out and do it one at a time.”

 

“This is so wonderful,” Beyond said, his voice going high pitched, “I'm so happy to be an evil spirit.”

 

Beyond tore up the stake with a single, cold swipe and Light let out a cry. Curled up on the floor he clutched his hands to his chest and groaned pathetically.

 

“Hold him again, Spirit-san,” Misa chirped, “don't move Light, or it'll hurt even more.”

 

“No!” Light screamed, he crawled on hands and knees to try and get away.

 

It was too cruel! He didn't deserve this!

 

“Like a pin through a straw doll,” Beyond shrieked gleefully, “The devils from hell are surely watching this performance, right MisaMisa?”

 

“They can't wait to see their bride in agony,” Misa said, raising her mallet again, eyes shining with fanatic devotion.

 

Hauled in one direction first, the hammer fell and the stake went through his bones and muscle in the same place on his right hand. Light's fingers scratched and twitched against the tatami floor. His other arm was yanked in a different direction, and the hammer fell again striking the stake with a loud, echoing clang. It went through his palm but was no less devastating.

 

“Ah!” Misa said, “That's much better! Good going Spirit-san!”

 

“I can't imagine anything better than this,” Beyond said, his voice almost drowned out by Light's painful screams, “but it gets better, doesn't it!”

 

“In the real ceremony,” Misa said, excitedly, “Kira-chan will be taking four stakes through his limbs and then one in the stomach!”

 

The wara ningyo around Misa's waist jangled, the red dots on their stomach brighter in the candle light than they had ever been.

 

“Now Kira-chan has to practice the hardest part,” Misa said, kneeling next to Light's head, “he has to learn how to feel regret.”

 

Misa's wide doll like eyes greedily took in Light's painful noises and anguished expression.

 

“This is MisaMisa's favourite,” she said, dreamily.

 

 


	17. The Painful Journey

The Painful Journey

 

XVII

 

The forest was dark and grim but Matsuda was making great time hiking his way up the mountain trails.  When he had been a young child, his aunt and uncle had lived far out in the country with his mother until she left them both for somewhere inexplicable. He had never asked, his relatives had seemed so broken up about it and he had only been three. By the time he had grown old enough to wonder, it didn't seem worth the pain he'd cause to bother them about it, he had kept it inside. Playing in the woods had taught him a lot about how to use his natural clumsiness to think quickly, it had helped him get onto the force. It had helped him make it in a world that was often crueler and more unfair than Matsuda liked.

 

Matsuda had grown up a child in the country and a teenager in the city when his relatives ageing bodies forced them to move closer to a place with more facilities for people who had no younger relatives to help out and a teenage boy to worry about. It was fun living in Tokyo, Matsuda would never regret going with them even though a few well meaning country people offered to take him in if he would have preferred to stay. Besides, if he hadn't come to Tokyo he wouldn't have been able to make it into school to become a police officer. Playing in the woods as a child had prepared him for the thick forests as an adult, even if it hadn't prepared him for everything he faced now.

 

_Aaahh!_

 

“What was that,” Matsuda said, aloud in the silent forest.

 

It had sounded like an animal's cries.

 

The wind whispered through the trees.

 

Or a human scream.

 

_Aaahhh!!_

 

It happened again. This time he recognized the voice.

 

“Light,” Matsuda said, his body going cold.

 

The moment came back like a gunshot, it was so sudden and overwhelming. He was standing in the Yagami's backyard looking at Light's brains splattered all over the white stones and he was shaking...shaking...

 

_No, don't pass out now!_ Matsuda shook his head, he had to pull himself together.

 

The screams came again, and again, then they went quiet. Racing through the woods while carrying a black duffel bag made a lot of noise but Matsuda was determined to follow the sound until he found it. Crashing through the woods like he had as a boy, he nearly fell into a hole covered by mossy branches. Hauling his leg out he turned around and shouted in surprise.

 

It was only a weather worn shrine with a club wielding devil on the front, nothing to worry about.

 

Pulling his foot from the hole, Matsuda backed up away from the shrine uneasily. He turned around and saw a broken down building in green shrouded shadows. The sun dapples barely reached the forest floor and it was dark and quiet with no animal sounds.

 

“-it's not working! Maybe we need more stakes. I'll hit it again.”

 

A woman's voice.

 

“No,” it was Light but it had come out as a terrible sounding groan, “Misa, please-! Ahhh!”

 

It sounded like she was torturing him. Matsuda ran to the building and dropped his bag on the broken patio before using both hands to try and haul open the door. It didn't seem to work so he threw himself bodily against it, using the full force of his weight the way he had been taught by his superiors in police training.

 

“Light!” Matsuda said, “Are you in there? It's Matsuda!”

 

Using his shoulders, Matsuda threw himself into the door and went right through it as it snapped open. He fell into the floor in a disgraceful pile and looked up to a horrifying sight.

 

A burned man!

 

“Ahhh!” Matsuda shrieked.

 

“Who's this?” the burned man mumbled, turning to the woman.

 

She was wearing a very strange priestess outfit, it must have been Misa. The woman who worked at the vampire centre that L had described to him. He suddenly felt very stupid. She was dangerous and quite powerful, he may have overstepped what he could handle. He was always rushing in without thinking but Light was screaming and – Matsuda shrieked even louder and crab walked backwards in terror.

 

He looked so-

 

_Monstrous!_

 

“Hideous!” Matsuda couldn't help but cry out, “What have you done to him!”

 

Matsuda his his face in his arms, he couldn't bare the sight, couldn't even look..!

 

“Name!” Misa demanded, hands on her hips.

 

“Matsuda,” he said, “Touta Matsuda!”

 

“Ah,” Misa said, “come on, on your feet!”

 

“What?” Matsuda peaked from behind his arms.

 

Strange. Light looked...very far from good. He was pinned to the floor and his eyes were wide with fear and pain. The blood was everywhere and his skin had gone ashen but he didn't look anything like before...he had his normal hair and red tinged eyes and wasn't so emaciated or horrifying like a thing from a hell scroll.

 

“I don't understand any of this!” Matsuda said shrilly.

 

“We're going to help Light!” Misa said, “Get up!”

 

“What's going on MisaMisa,” the burned man hovered nearby, “shouldn't we kill him?”

 

Matsuda let out a yelp; the man was half transparent and clearly some kind of ghost.

 

“He's pure!” Misa chirped, “He can help us! He saw Kira-chan's real face!”

 

The burned man looked put out and annoyed.

 

“Pure?” Matsuda said, he hoped she wasn't referring to dying a virgin or something, besides he hadn't.

 

Not technically, anyway.

 

“Purity is really rare,” Misa said, her doll eyes glowing, “it's a haniwa speciality when it appears. Get up. Kira-chan is having trouble and he needs your help or we'll all get devoured by hell's devils.”

 

The phrase hell's devils had Matsuda scrambling to his feet.

 

“Matsuda!” Light's pitiful cries were heart wrenching, “get them out!”

 

Matsuda clamped his hand over his mouth, the stakes went right through Light's flesh and all the way into the floor. He felt like throwing up.

 

“This is no time to get queasy,” Misa snapped at him, “think of something. Anything! Help Kira-chan regret!”

 

“What?” Matsuda said, he was so confused.

 

“He's not going to be any use,” the burned man said.

 

“Not cute!” Misa snapped, “This is important. Think of something Kira-chan did that he might have regretted. A family quarrel, a terrible childhood memory, you knew him right? That's why he killed you! You were important!”

 

Matsuda looked at her with his jaw dropped open in surprise.

 

“He killed me because _I shot him!_ ” Matsuda shouted.

 

“Nope!” Misa hauled out a shinto wand from her obi, “think quicker! Or I'll punish you, too!”

 

She cracked it in the air and Matsuda felt a strange electricity snapping from the end. He didn't think that was a normal behaviour for a respectable priestess, not at all.

 

Beginning to sweat profusely, Matsuda thought through the profile L had made of Kira first. And then his memories of Light. It was so difficult to pin anything down. Light was such an excellent actor, he had been playing them like a harp the whole time. His parents, his friends everyone was a victim of his charms, just who was Light Yagami? Matsuda found it almost impossible to identify. Even his own mother hadn't seen his true self-!

 

“Sachiko,” Matsuda said, “Sachiko broke her leg because of you!”

 

“What?” Light said, his eyes clouded with agony, “I didn't do it! I couldn't have!”

 

“L said so,” Matsuda said, yanking his hair in frustration, “that's all I can think of! Sachiko broke her leg because she threw you out! She turned you away and was sad you didn't kill yourself! And your curse came back on her! It burned your whole house down to the ground and it collapsed on her! She'll be in the hospital for months!”

 

Light's eyes went very wide, Matsuda felt like he was quite possibly going to be spectacularly ill. As if in sympathy, Light made a terrible retching noise and from his mouth fell a hideous, sticky black bile. It went over the floor in an inky splatter. In a few seconds, it had vanished into nothing.

 

“So little,” Misa said, as though deeply disappointed, “but I guess it's ok.”

 

The ground rumbled and shook the wood building slightly, Matsuda felt uneasy on his feet and slid to the floor. Light groaned and writhed, the sticky blackness still staining his lips an ugly blue. The trembling stopped and Matsuda could only hear Light's harsh breathing through the pounding in his ears.

 

“Spirit-san,” Misa said, she looked dismayed, “pull them out, we'll have to try again for real next time.”

 

“With pleasure,” the ghost said.

 

Hauling the spikes from Light's hands went as well as anyone could expect. There was a lot of screaming and a lot of blood. During the ordeal, Matsuda hid his face in his hands and tried not to cry.

 

It was horrible.

 

_Why were vampires so horrible?!_

 

“We can get Kira-chan back to the temple,” Misa said, “once his hands are wrapped.”

 

“Kira-chan?” Matsuda said faintly.

 

“His real name,” Misa said, “his old name is dead. Touta-chan, would you like to be my assistant?”

 

“What?” Matsuda said.

 

“My assistant,” Misa repeated, as she wrapped Light's hands.

 

Light did not look like he was enjoying the experience, he kept trying to worm wriggle away but Misa practically sat on him and Light was in too much pain to put up more of a fight. The ghost held down his legs and Misa had free reign to wrap up his hands so thick he was nearly wearing mittens. The blood still seeped through the bandages in a dark, hideous blot.

 

“Grab an arm,” Misa said, “we can discuss the terms when we get to the temple.”

 

“R-right,” Matsuda stammered.

 

It was part of the plan to get to the temple and locate the death note, he was sort of doing what L asked. And honestly, he was too confused not to follow along to find out more. Light leaned more heavily on Matsuda than Misa but that was probably because he'd had the decency not to pound iron stakes into his hands.

 

“L,” Light said, quietly, as they staggered their way up a winding mountain pass, “is he with you?”

 

Matsuda figured it wouldn't hurt to tell him that much.

 

“We came together,” Matsuda said.

 

“To find the death note,” Light said.

 

It was funny how much energy Light had when he thought about the terrible murder notebook, his head managed to raise itself and his eyes took on that awful gleam Matsuda had associated with Kira and death and shinigami.

 

“The death note is supposed to go back to the shinigami world,” Misa said, sharply, “I hope that's what actually happened to it.”

 

Beyond smirked, “it's in the hands of a real shinigami for sure.”

 

Misa didn't look like she trusted the ghost man very much and Matsuda didn't blame her one bit.

 

“Four vampires are waiting along this trail for us,” Misa said, “they're in a lot of trouble but they can earn their keep by helping out.”

 

The four vampires in question looked like a yakuza gang, complete with prop historical weaponry. Matsuda was a bit put out by the way they leered at Light and then glared at him.

 

“Loafers!” Misa shouted, “Open the gate!”

 

There was an enormous rock pile in the middle of the road, it was gigantic and took three vampires to move even one boulder. It took some minutes to roll them all out of the way and Light began to sag from blood loss in the time it took the vampires to move them all.

 

“Ooi-san,” Misa said, “you're the strongest, you get to carry him.”

 

The large bald man sighed and lowered down into a familiar piggy back position. Misa and Matsuda helped Light fit around his back and then the three of them were walking swiftly while the others sealed away the road again.

 

“Who's the kid,” Ooi demanded.

 

“Touta-chan,” Misa said, “my new assistant. I found him in the woods. One of Kira-chan's victims from Edo.”

 

“Ah,” Ooi said, as if it made perfect sense.

 

It didn't make any sense still to Matsuda but he kept his mouth shut and carefully kept an eye out for landmarks, turns in the road and any details. He noticed there were very high cliffs and the trees gradually disappeared until they were walking along a steep, ocean spray scented road. It became little more than a treacherous mountain pass but Ooi and Misa seemed to have no problems keeping pace with one another, despite Light riding on the man's back.

 

By the time they had all returned to the temple, it was around late afternoon. The sun was hidden behind a thick shroud of fog and the air was cold from the sea coming in from the shore. Mikami stood at the temple door, his face calm and posture formal.

 

“I see you've found the other traveller,” Mikami said, “since he came through the woods, I suppose L is coming by boat.”

 

Matsuda felt uneasy, he didn't say anything at all unsure just how much trouble he was in.

 

“It's all right,” Mikami said, “consider yourself a guest.”

 

“Misa made him her assistant!” she practically shouted, “he can help me with Kira-chan!”

 

Mikami looked at her cooly, “I didn't give you permission to offer such a thing but I'll let it go, since your old student ran away. Try to take better care with this one.”

 

“Right!” Misa said, undeterred.

 

They made it into a very old, nearly ancient temple. There was a room at the back that Misa claimed belonged to Light, beyond some sinister paintings of hell and the underworld that made Matsuda's blood run cold. There was bedding already on the floor when they got there and Matsuda and Misa managed to get Light off of Ooi's back.

 

Light collapsed onto the bedding and curled in on himself, his hands drawn in protectively to his chest.

 

“Misa will get you hot water,” she said, cheerfully, before snapping the shoji doors shut behind her.

 

Matsuda found his legs turning to jelly and quickly sat on the ground before they gave out under him.

 

“Light,” Matsuda said helplessly.

 

“Did you see the death note?” Light said, his voice trembled, “Was it anywhere on the way? That bastard Beyond took it from the shinigami and spirited it away somewhere!”

 

“No one cares about the stupid note but you and L!” Matsuda shouted, then clamped his hand over his mouth.

 

Really, it wasn't the time to be cross, Light was injured badly and even if he was more of a bastard than that weird ghost could ever be he didn't deserve to be tortured.

 

“Matsuda,” Light said, quietly, “If L wants the note, that makes me want it twice as badly even if neither of us can use it.”

 

Matsuda stared at him in disbelief.

 

“It's that note that got you into this in the first place,” Matsuda said, “it killed you and ruined your parent's life!”

 

“People like you wouldn't understand,” Light said, “to L it's just a game but to me, it's important. Don't you feel that way? You worked so hard in the NPA with nothing to show for it and now L is going to take the only evidence of Kira away. You could help me-!”

 

Matsuda stared at Light in disbelief and desperately wanted to hit him. Instead, he made a frustrated, choked noise and hauled up his shirt sleeves. The ugly scars with a few remaining stitches were still visible and gruesome, it would take many years for them to entirely disappear.

 

“I've already tried _helping you_ and look what it got me!”

 

The shoji doors snapped open and Mikami stood in the doorway, his gaze falling over Light and Matsuda in turn. He dropped a large set of chains and manacles next to Matsuda who startled at the noise. Matsuda whipped his shirt sleeves down and glared at the floor, Light was really pissing him off.

 

“You can go now,” Mikami said, “Misa will need your help downstairs. I can take care of Kira-chan from here, he's probably quite thirsty.”

 

In a weird, inhuman crawl and moving impossibly quick, Light grabbed the front of Matsuda's shirt with his bandaged hands and trembled violently.

 

“Don't leave me alone with him! Please!”

 

His eyes were wide and moist and it was probably, Matsuda thought miserably, the most genuine emotion he had even seen on Light's face and it had nothing to do with the lives he had ruined or the cruelty he had perpetuated.

 

“Kira-chan has to rest,” Mikami said calmly.

 

Matsuda carefully peeled Light's bandaged hands from his chest and pushed him away.

 

“NO!” Light's blood curdling shriek echoed in the room, “If you're here he won't do it to me! He won't make me drink his blood! Matsuda, this one thing-! Don't leave! It's worse than Misa's hammer!”

 

He had latched onto Matsuda's pant leg and was clutching him weakly with his injured hands.

 

“Light,” Matsuda said, forcing his voice as cold and aloof as he could muster, “sleep in the bed you made for yourself for a while, it might do you some good.”

 

The light inside the temple narrowed onto Light's crumbled form, his face damp with tears and his eyes that ached with a child's painful sadness. He had no idea why Matsuda was doing this to him, no inkling why he had been denied. It was infuriating and sad, weird and uncomfortable.

 

“Matsuda!” Light cried out, the red kimono twisting around his body like a river of blood.

 

Light Yagami had been beautiful and perfect outside but inside he was the ugliest thing Matsuda had ever known.

 

Matsuda firmly pushed him away for the last time.

 


	18. The Second Suitor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all the typos, I'll go back after the story is complete and fix them. What is a Japanese themed story without dudes bathing together? Nothing, that's what.

The Second Suitor

 

XVIII

 

The memory burned harsher than the blood that was being forced down his throat. Light choked and clutched at Mikami's arms, opening his wounds. The blood spread across the bandages like ugly red flowers, it hurt but not as much as...

 

_Mother!_

 

The images took over his mind and all he could do was writhe as he clenched his injured hands.

 

Very few housewives bothered to learn to drive in a city with such excellent mass transit and Light's mother was no exception to this rule. She had her license but didn't bother to use the well kept car that sat in their driveway, instead it was for excursions with her husband or on very rare occasions when something came up that was unavoidable and had to be done quickly.

 

Light's first clear memory of his mother was holding her hand while riding the bus. The morning sun had just risen and while his mother looked a little tired she was still chatting kindly with the other passengers and Light, being the superbly behaved child he had always been, had watched her curiously.

 

“Be careful Light,” his mother had warned him, “don't talk to strangers unless Mama tells you it's okay.”

 

“Why not?” Light asked.

 

Her eyes had gone a shade darker, “because there are bad people as well as good ones in the world.”

 

While on the bus they had spoken to his mother's friends, some girls from the neighbourhood had given him milk drops (a sweet he had been fond of) and robust head ruffles that he hadn't liked as much. Women were so rough with boys, Light thought glumly, they weren't nice with them the way they were with little girls.

 

An odd looking young man had boarded the bus. It was clear he had been coming from a late night party somewhere, he was tired and had glitter up the side of his face, his clothes were rumpled. His hair was dyed blonde but his tired smile was welcoming, all the same.

 

“Good morning,” he had said to Light's mother.

 

She had looked at him in a way Light had come to recognize as her critical gaze; when something was amiss but she was too polite to bring it up in a direct way.

 

“Good morning,” she said quietly.

 

“Hey,” the man had said after he had sat down behind them, “what's your name.”

 

Light glanced at his mother who nodded her head.

 

“Yagami Light,” he said, proudly.

 

“That's a neat name,” the shabby man said, “would you like a sweet?”

 

The grip on his hand tightened and Light knew he would refuse.

 

“No thanks,” Light said, “girls already gave me some.”

 

“Girls huh? I bet he'll be a real lady killer when he grows up,” the man laughed, a musical sound.

 

He had a nice smile too, even if he smelled a little too much like alcohol. The ring in his ear glinted in the morning light, it looked cool and Light wanted to touch it.

 

“I hope he's more of a gentleman than that,” Light's mother said gently.

 

“For the best,” the man winked at him, “girls are nothing but trouble. They don't treat boys well.”

 

What a strange man, Light had thought, he liked him already and not just because he echoed his own thoughts back to him.

 

The person had removed himself from the bus at the next stop and Light found it odd that the tightness in his mother's shoulders only relieved itself after he had gone. It wasn't like he was a bad person, the man had done nothing wrong. While they were walking down to the street they passed some shops that sold flowers, there were beautiful white bouquets lined up against the black awning.

 

“Can I get one?” Light said, his mother usually never refused a request as long as it wasn't for junk.

 

“Light,” his mother chided him gently, “those are for funerals. It's bad luck.”

 

“No one's died lately,” Light said, “so no one should mind.”

 

Transfixed by their sculptural beauty, Light was fixated on the pretty white petals. They resembled the tea sweets his grandmother had bought from the shop by her apartment.

 

“People do strange things,” his mother said suddenly, “don't be one of those people. Like that man we saw on the bus.”

 

“Huh?” Light said, but the look on his mother's face told him it was important.

 

“Stand out enough to get noticed,” she said, “but not enough to be a bother, all right?”

 

“Ok,” Light said, perplexed.

 

He still wanted the flowers but his mother was firm.

 

“Your grandmother would be very upset,” Sachiko said, “a little boy doesn't need funeral flowers on such a nice day, it would surely bring bad luck.”

 

Even at five, luck seemed dubious. People did better with skills and studying really hard not random chance. The rest of the day bled into nothing, what had they been doing? Light couldn't remember, he could only remember the disappointment.

 

_I liked that strange man_ , Light thought, rebelliously, _and I wanted flowers._

 

But to like a person like that would make his mother sad and the flowers were out of the question; so far away they might as well be forgotten.

 

As an adult he would understand better. His mother had been concerned about his future and had only been trying to guide him along the right path. There would be no flowers for boys or glitter shocked friends coming back from parties to mar his prospects.

 

Only boredom. A listless, heavy, never ending ennui.

 

It was easy to be perfect. It was much more difficult to be different.

 

“Light-kun.”

 

The early days of the investigation and L had appeared like a creature from his memories. He wasn't glitter smeared or handsome but he was desperate looking enough to peak his curiosity. He remembered being in shock the first time he had seen him.

 

This was the great detective L? Eraldo Coil? Denueve? They were all the same incomplete person? How could someone exist in that kind of state without any sense of propriety and still function? The man barely managed to get dressed in the morning.

 

_I liked him._

 

It was a whisper that curled in his stomach and settled like a stone.

 

_I wanted to be him._

 

If he had killed L properly when he should have, he would have taken over his names. Imperfection would have been driven out by perfection.

 

_No, that's not what I wanted. I wanted.._.

 

_Wanted..._

 

The man with the glitter smeared on his cheek was super imposed over L with a dollop of cake icing on his face.

 

_Wanted.._.

 

“Stop!” Light cried, his hands were hurting terribly, “please!”

 

The memory was like a cave being opened for the first time, letting loose swarms of bats that flew and shrieked around his head. They bit and bled him without care.

 

_L was supposed to die!_

 

“I'm envious the way you think of him,” Mikami's flat, toneless voice, “thought I don't envy what you feel. It must be terrible.”

 

“Monster,” Light said, weakly.

 

“I think it's apparent who the real monster is,” Mikami said, a hint of smugness in his voice, “the day of judgement is coming. I'm afraid to say Misa will be presiding over you again but I will be there as well. Try not to run away, it will only hurt more. Face yourself and things will go well. Otherwise, the devils in your mind just might have their revenge after denying them for so long.”

 

Softly, Mikami stroked down Light's kimono clad body as it shook and trembled under his touch.

 

“Kira,” Mikami said, reverently, _“Kami-sama.”_

 

“My name is Light,” it was scratched from a throat raw and torn.

 

“Not anymore,” Mikami whispered into his ear, clicking shut the metal cuffs.

 

Matsuda snapped shut the shoji doors and hurried away towards the steps that lead into the drop floor kitchen and shook like a leaf when he managed to sit down on the ledge overlooking the stairs. He put his face in his hands and let the tears fall.

 

“Have any family?” Misa's voice came from beside him.

 

There was a black kerchief with lace detailing shoved under his nose. He took it and dried his tears as best he could.

 

“No,” Matsuda said, “thanks.”  


“Then Kira-chan's curse won't touch you,” Misa said, satisfied, “come down here, the kitchen has water and things. There's a hot spring too, for later.”

 

With heavy limbs, Matsuda followed Misa into a room that looked like it had come out of a history book. There was a furnace and a recessed floor stove and all the things Matsuda recalled from museums about how people lived without access to electric heating.

 

“This is cool,” Matsuda said, despite himself, “I never thought about it but I guess older vampires still know how everyone lived back then.”

 

“Yep!” Misa said, “But ehrm, just between you and me I wouldn't mind if things were upgraded a bit. Misa isn't fond of old fashioned things but don't tell Mikami-sama I said that.”

 

“Misa!” it was Takahashi, “There's a sodden weirdo in the tunnels. Good swimmer, got stuck in the kelp though. Do we kill him, or let him in?”

 

“Ah!” Matsuda cried, jumping to his feet.

 

“It's all right Touta-chan” Misa said, cocking her head to the side, “Mikami-sama said to let him in and treat him nice so that's what we do. I'll prepare a bath for Kira-chan's friends!”

 

Matsuda took a moment to goggle at Misa's bizarre assumptions.

 

“Hey,” Takahashi said, “you come with me. If he's your friend, you can help me haul him out.”

 

“Uh,” Matsuda said, feeling rather at a loss, “okay.”

 

The path was eerie and dimly lit and it made Matsuda shiver all over from anxiety. The dead person in the middle of the tunnels wasn't exactly a help, he kept far away from the mummified body and could barely stand to look at it.

 

“We're short hands,” Takahashi explained on the way, “two of our helpers are gone from here and Kira-chan is taking up all Mikami-sama's time by being difficult. Kida went back up to help, even.”

 

Matsuda had nothing to say to that, so he didn't say anything at all.

 

“Was he that awful when he was alive?” Takahashi asked.

 

“What?” Matsuda said.

 

“Never mind,” Takahashi said, “personal question. I wondered, that's all. So spoiled and vain and arrogant as they come-”

 

“He was,” Matsuda said, quickly, “but he had good points too.”

 

“Oh yeah,” Takahashi said, leering, “like what?”

 

They were seriously overestimating his closeness with Yagami Light.

 

“He could charm anybody to do anything,” Matsuda said, cooly, “it was a big help during the investigation.”

 

Takahashi's expression soured, “that I'd believe.”

 

It was Matsuda's first time walking down into the basement tunnels and he nearly slipped several times on the wet seaweed. There were other men's voices in the tunnel already, they were loudly laughing.

 

“Hey! Takahashi! This guy looks like a yurei!”

 

Matsuda paused at the sight and barely kept in laughter. It seemed the swimming path through the tunnels had a distinct disadvantage that hadn't appeared on any map; a profusion of dark, inky kelp. L might was well have been disguised as a sea creature, he was covered from head to toe and was struggling under its weight.

 

“Help,” was dully mumbled from behind the profusion.

 

“Right,” Matsuda said, beginning to haul the kelp from L's head.

 

After L's arms were freed it was much easier and he was much more person-like after a few piles were at their feet.

 

“How's your neck,” Matsuda asked.

 

“Not bad,” L said, “the water felt refreshing, despite all the seaweed.”

 

A sharp noise came from the four other men, they had seen L's eerie empty eye sockets once he had removed enough kelp for his face to become visible. The wounds were still stitched together but seemed to have held up well against his swimming. Their violent appearance still made the other men uneasy.

 

“Who are you?” L asked.

 

“Takahashi,” the blonde man said coldly.

 

Glancing between them, the white haired man frowned.

 

“Hatori,” he said, bowing.

 

“Higuchi,” an ugly man with black hair said, he looked at L coldly.

 

“Ooi,” the big bald man said, “and I'm the one in charge of Yotsuba-dera when Mikami-sama is busy.”

 

“I see,” L said, “everything is just as described by Reiji-sama, how convenient.”

 

“Reiji-sama!” Takahashi said, excitedly.

 

“How is he?” Higuchi blurted.

 

“Hey,” Ooi said, “no questions until we get back upstairs.”

 

They trudged all the way up the first landing, Misa was waiting for them holding towels. L had been wringing out his sodden shirt the whole way up but Misa forced him to take it off so it could be dried properly.

 

“Both of you need a bath,” Misa said, holding her nose dramatically, “all I can smell is fish.”

 

She herded the two of them into an elaborate cut out rocky area that functioned as a hot spring, gently shoving Matsuda when he hesitated before the wooden door. He could see Misa gathering up a bowl of water and a tower and handing it to Takashi, she made a shooing motion after. The four other vampries trudged their way back upstairs.

 

“Strip!” Misa ordered, “Then get in. Misa will bring your clothes when you're finished.”

 

There was a brief moment where Matsuda wondered if this was wise but L was already peeling his sodden clothes from his skinny body with gusto. Following suit, they both ended up carefully stepping around a small ledge until they could safely walk down rocky steps into the hot, steaming water.

 

Easily, Matsuda sank into the hot water. With some shuffling and searching for a proper ledge, L crouched across from him in his usual position. Only his knee caps stuck up above the water, his thumb was firmly placed into his mouth and he seemed to be deep in thought.

 

_Ahhhh!_

 

“Don't move,” L said, “if I'm not mistaken, those are Light's screams.”

 

Matsuda paused halfway between leaping out of the water, unsure exactly what to do.

 

“They can't hurt him until the ceremony,” L said.

 

“There was a practice run, I watched it,” Matsuda said, sliding back down in despair, “I saw that priestess hammering in the stakes and when we came back, Mikami-sama was waiting and Light begged me to stay with him but I couldn't-!”

 

“Is that so,” L said, his expression was intrigued, “explain to me everything that happened.”

 

Matsuda attempted to elucidate on what he had seen during his brief impression of the pinning.

 

“When Mikami-sama came back with these awful iron shackles,” Matsuda said, his expression grim, “Light said drinking his blood was worse than being staked.”

 

“Reiji-sama implied some kind of spiritual connection was made when other types of vampires share their blood with Sue,” L said, “the scrolls were equally indirect. It may be a very intimate experience.”

 

“Worse than drinking human blood?” Matsuda said, “All I get are these weird images from the tea cups.”

 

“I don't get any images at all,” L said, “in fact, most vampires wouldn't from a tea cup.”

 

“I guess I'm just more sensitive,” Matsuda attempted a light hearted laugh, it didn't sound quite right, “Auntie always said so. That woman priestess-”

 

“Misa Amane,” L said, “it seems everyone refers to her by her first name here.”

 

“Misa,” Matsuda said, “she decided I was her assistant because of something to do with purity. But I don't want to be her assistant! It was terrible enough seeing that once...”

 

L's gaping eye holes widened excitedly and he leaned forward.

 

“This is undoubtedly a propitious turn of events,” L said, “do everything she says, follow her everywhere. Anything curious about the ritual, ask her directly. Whatever she asks of you, do it if you can stomach it.”

 

“L..,” Matsuda said, “I don't know if I can-”

 

“Matsuda,” L said, suddenly grasping his hands, “this is the best thing you could do for Yagami-san and his family. Misa is an ancient and knows far more than either of us and even the scrolls, she's the best information source we have. If you stay with her, I can handle Mikami-sama.”

 

“Handle?” Matsuda said, “What are you going to do?”

 

“For now,” L said, leaning back into the bath, “be his guest. Annoy his underlings and generally get in the way. When the ceremony occurs, we'll have to be ready.”

 

Matsuda said, “For what, exactly?”

 

“I'm going to lure Mikami-sama away from the temple by stealing back Light-kun,” L said, his eye holes glimmering, “and then my assistant A in his helicopter will harpoon Mikami-sama into the ground. It should keep him occupied for a good long while and prevent him from opening any gates to anywhere. Do you still have your bag?”

 

“They put it upstairs,” Matsuda said, “I'm guessing they searched it but everyone is really old fashioned here. If Misa didn't notice the cellphone, the others might not know what it was for.”

 

“It's probable they do understand technology in a basic way,” L said, “but something we should both keep in mind is how laconic vampires are in the presence of their lessers. To them we're mere children, helpless and alone in a hostile world. Fortunately, we've had experiences that make us anything but and have been armed with dangerous information about their weaknesses.”

 

In the shadows, halfway between the stone wall and the steaming water, Beyond Birthday hovered listening in.

 

How curious that L still wanted to keep hold of his ex-suspect.

 

And how sweet!

 

Beyond still loved sweets even if he couldn't taste them very well.

 

_Yes,_ thought Beyond, _evil plans go down nicely with hot sugared coffee and strawberry jam. I'll have to ask MisaMisa for more offerings before the big day._

 

Grinning widely, he floated above the stone floor.

 


	19. The Mother's Sin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Self mummification is a real thing that took place in early Buddhist monasteries but became unpopular for reasons that should be obvious. The urushi sap that is mentioned was an actual part of the ritual within a certain sect. Rejoice because L and Light will finally meet up again...in the next chapter.

The Mother's Sin

 

XIX

 

The shoji door sprung open as if on its own and behind it, snow was softly falling. Though it had been a cool dwindling summer season back in Tokyo, high up in the mountains the cold season was all year around. Mikami was watching the snow fall intently, his inhuman stillness more frigid than the snow flakes softly falling over the moss covered mountain side outdoors.

 

L sat down on the tatami floor, his usual perch uncomfortable and instead switched to his legs crossed. He remembered his first hotel room in Tokyo and how he had sat the same way and watched as the Kira case unfolded, unaware of the depths it would lead him to.

 

“The holes in your face represent a curse that's more superstition than reality,” Mikami's low voice intoned, “the others are afraid of angering Kira-chan. In reality the only way the curse can spread is through human interference. You're perfectly safe from retaliation since you're without direct human family, so don't be afraid to lash out.”

 

The summons was informal but there was a tea set put down next to Mikami by Kida. With a glance, Kida took in L's posture and shabby state with a curious tightening in his shoulders.

 

“That will be all,” Mikami said, as Kida lingered, “surely, there are other things to do besides gawking at strangers.”

 

“Y-Yes,” Kida said, awkwardly.

 

After bowing to Mikami, he left them alone.

 

“There are many things I owe to Light-kun,” L said, “conscientiousness isn't one of them.”

 

“That's good to hear,” Mikami said, he turned slowly, “Kira-chan is having problems regretting properly. How propitious you came. The victims of a Sue are considered auspicious during times like these, only they can understand the tormented heart-”

 

“Light-kun doesn't have a heart,” L interrupted, “not in the way a normal human being does. I thought your observations would lead you to that conclusion as well but I'm apparently mistaken.”

 

“Humans and their arrogance,” Mikami said, “everything has a heart. Secret dreams and wants populate human beings like bacteria in the intestine, voluminous and legion, their efforts invisible to the untrained eye. I know why you've come but I'm not going stop whatever you're attempting. We're more like relations these days than enemies and if you recall, I didn't even alert my superiors so they could enact a sham trial the way the vampire society would have wished.”

 

“It was difficult getting out of vampire jail the first time around as a human,” L said, jabbing his thumb in his mouth, “but I'm sure I could have managed a second. You knew Light-kun would devour me as soon as he had the chance and didn't say anything. Such an obscure fact concerning obscure vampires is something even my extensive intelligence network had no information about, which you would have known. That fractures any trust that may have been between us.”

 

“Then I'll attempt to reinstate that trust,” Mikami said, pouring himself some tea, “by allowing you full access to Kira-chan during your stay.”

 

The smell in the air wasn't an ordinary scent, it was acrid and strange coming form the tea set. It was naturally repulsive to L, as though some instinct inside of himself was recoiling from it.

 

“What is that,” L said, “poison?”

 

“To most vampires, yes,” Mikami said, “it's the sap from the urushi tree. This is unknown to many but self mummification and ascetic practices originated in these very mountains. Some even gouged out their own eyes to reach spiritual transcendence. They were the ones who taught the vampires how to contain the Sue's powers, though the original transcription of their lessons has been lost. When Buddha appeared, so did Hell and with it the vampire's condemnation. That is at least, the story.”

 

“Hell is self made,” L said, “curious.”

 

“And also very real,” Mikami said, sipping his poisoned blood tea, “I have always held myself to high standards and therefore my blood has often been mixed with urushi in case I should meet my end unexpectedly. There is at least a possibility that the body would become incorruptible and able to be enshrined in this temple for generations. It's foremost spiritual thinking that life is ephemeral and any day could be one's last, even for a three thousand year old vampire. I think Kira-chan is gaining an appreciation for that way of thinking.”

 

“I think you misunderstand the relationship I have with Light-kun,” L said, “in all my study of him as a suspect the only thing he appeared to love was his family. He had no attachment to his friends, the task force, to me-”

 

“And yet,” Mikami said, a thin, eerie smile gracing his lips, “you and Touta-chan are the only ones he chose. While it takes some time for the madness to overtake a young Sue, he certainly could have killed them all before leaving. He must have considered the possibility during his time with the death note, even robbed of his memories the ideas would have remained.”

 

“Choosing seems a rather liberal descriptor considering I offered him my wrist and then he slaughtered me,” L said.

 

The stitches were beginning to hurt and itch, it probably meant he was healing properly but it was beginning to bother him. Eventually they would naturally fall out as the flesh closed over but for now, they were a poignant reminder of Light's innate cruelty.

 

“I envy how he thinks of you,” Mikami said, “I can see his feelings when I give him blood. But I don't envy him, or you. The eyes that he gouged out hardly saw to begin with and your ghostly friend, Beyond Birthday, sees clearer than the two of you put together.”

 

L let out a dry chuckle, it was ugly and low.

 

“I wasn't the world's greatest detective because I was without insight,” L said.

“And now you think you can see all there is in Yagami Light,” Mikami said, cryptically, “without real eyes and without a real heart. I suppose that's the arrogance most of us carry our first time into the grave.”

 

“It's plenty arrogant to assume torturing someone will help them as well,” L said, “there were many scrolls in Reiji-sama's possession. Each one worse than the last.”

 

“I'm sure there were,” Mikami said, unperturbed, “he was never fond of our methods. Perhaps because they forced him to endure things he'd rather forget. I propose a solution to our mutual difficulties. Reiji-sama is holding your successor's hostage. His helpers are also my past disciples, which is how I discovered the situation. Everyone knew if I was challenged directly in plain view I would have no objections and so I allowed the scenario to play out fairly. I do love justice, I would say, almost as much as you loved justice. But not at all in the same way Kira-chan loved justice and in that spirit because I greatly respected the work you did during your life, I'll offer you a riddle to solve. It's up to you to understand it and I promise your abilities are certainly enough to do so. If you solve it, I'll give you my word that I won't attempt the ceremony that may open that door Reiji-sama is so worked up about. There are three days between ceremonies, I won't move until you have solved it or given up or the days have passed. Do we have a deal?”

 

The gleaming excitement in the deadened eyes was frightening, L felt the shiver crawl up his flesh like a whisper of cold winter air. Mikami clearly thought he would win.

 

“Tell me,” L said, holes in his face gone wide.

 

It was also thrilling because L was equally determined to prove him wrong.

 

“There are many kinds of mothers,” Mikami said, “those that nurture, those that carry us into life and those that lead us into death. I had a mother that was very kind but flawed. Light had a mother that was very kind but flawed. And you, yourself have a mother that was kind but flawed. They didn't give birth to us but they formed us, from their loins we came like monsters, imperfect and without judgement. The eyes, the heart and the mind all work together and when they're separated by mothers who are indifferent, we suffer too. Light harmed his human mother with his curse but she wasn't the real creature that gave birth to him and though the women that bore us are long dead, Misa and I have a mother in common. Think on this and reply with your answer when you've had time.”

 

“Look forward to my answer,” L said, confidently, “in three days time.”

 

Mikami's ancient face stretched into a too wide smile.

 

The shoji door snapped open and Matsuda nearly fell over in surprise, since he had been leaning up against it. Their tatami room wasn't far from the lower, heated level and running water could be heard from its sliding window that opened into the absolute darkness in the mountain interior.

 

“We have three days,” L said to him.

 

After taking some time to explain the situation to Matsuda, he also explained the riddle in full and waited to hear what he thought. Matsuda was surprised he had been asked but offered him his opinion.

 

“It's not literal,” Matsuda said, “I mean, mother is just a title to a vampire. All those scrolls with their drawings and hardly any of them seemed to care about who did what, only the costumes for ranks changed at all.”

 

“Yes,” L said, putting his thumb in his mouth, “I thought so too, gender is almost meaningless to a creature that doesn't reproduce sexually. It must be an allegory for something, possibly something mystical that I wouldn't have encountered before.”

 

“I guess we'll have to find out,” Matsuda said.

 

“I'm going to visit Light-kun,” L said, “he was part of the riddle, it may be elucidating.”

 

“Right,” Matsuda said, “Misa wants me to go back to the place under the temple.”

 

“Anything she asks of you,” L reminded him, “within reason.”

 

“I know, I know,” Matsuda said, looking queasy, “I'm just worried about what that's going to be.”

 

“The ceremony won't happen for three days,” L said, “the only blood will be between Mikami and Light-kun.”

 

“I don't like that much either,” Matsuda said, holding himself tightly, “he was _so afraid._ ”

 

“Perhaps it reminds him he lost,” L said, “that's the only thing Light-kun would ever have been afraid of.”

 

L wandered away, his bare feet plodding on the soft, tatami floor. Matsuda frowned at the ground and wondered which one was colder; the detective or the suspect. But fortunately, it was an easy answer considering recent events. At least L didn't deceive everyone with an act to make himself look like a normal person...

 

Gasping from anxiety, Matsuda put his head between his legs and tried to force his dead lungs to breathe. He could hear the geta shoes thudding their way up the basement steps before they were clunked to the side carelessly.

 

“Kira-chan messed you up,” it was a comment from Misa, who was standing next to him, in a vibrant pink kimono.

 

“Maybe,” Matsuda said, his gasping breath evening out, “no worse than the rest.”

 

The small, cold body draped itself over him and gave him a hug. It was somewhat comforting but a bit chilly from being underground.

 

“Don't get the wrong idea,” Misa said, “I love Kira-chan best of all but Touta-chan must have been a really nice person when he was alive. Being a vampire must be terrible for you.”

 

“A bit,” Matsuda admitted, “I don't hate Light, really, despite everything.”

 

“What do you feel for him?” Misa said, her voice taking on a tone of genuine curiosity.

 

“He makes me sad,” Matsuda said.

 

“Then,” Misa said, quietly, “because Misa loves Kira-chan and admires Touta-chan's feelings, she'll help you out.”

 

In Matsuda's ear was whispered a secret, terrible but true. His eyes went wide and his heart began to pound, he felt like passing out all over again.

 

“They were going to do the same thing to you” Misa said, “but you became my assistant.”

 

“I see,” Matsuda said, trembling.

 

“Don't try and help,” Misa said, “or I'll be forced to kill you.”

 

Like hell he would sit and wait for something terrible to occur! Matsuda offered her a watery smile in return and she nodded at him cheerfully.

 

“Maybe when it's all over, together we can make Kira-chan a little happier,” Misa said, her eyes going a shade fanatical, “then Kira-chan will know just how much MisaMisa loves him. I haven't been on anyone's side at all but his since the moment I first saw him. Since I broke into his room and drank his blood against Mikami-dono's wishes-! I want to see his blood again, I want him to drink mine.”

 

She whispered from a red tinged mouth and Matsuda felt the awfulness of Misa's vampire spirit. Her hands curled as if they were holding a stake and hammer at that very moment and her eyes went wide and staring.

 

“I want to be the one to marry him, so I can hurt him more than anyone!”

 

 


	20. The First Victim

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More internalized homophobia from Light because that's just how he rolls. L is a bit handsy. General creepiness abounds. Sorry for the long wait, I'm busy with a life sucking job right now, that is not a sexy vampire. *sigh*

The First Victim

 

XX

 

The cellphone hadn't been confiscated from Matsuda's bag and L spent the better part of an hour texting back and forth to A in a painstaking fashion, typing carefully and waiting for the network to connect between each message. With that task accomplished, L dropped the cellphone in his pocket and continued lethargically down the hall.

 

There was no point in knocking, L hauled the door open without a single indication he was visiting and collapsed lop-sided on the floor. Balefully looking up at Light from the ground, he stuck his thumb in his mouth in dismay.

 

“I hate sitting on tatami mats,” L said, his voice a flat monotone.

 

From the shadows at the back of the dimly lit room, two eyes glinted. There was a tiny, feint inhale and the sound of chains moving around. The door to the outdoor balcony was opened a notch, gloomy illumination poured in from the snowy outside.

 

“I hate them too,” Light said.

 

L straightened himself up, “how has Mikami-sama been treating you?”

 

“Niceties” Light said, “or is it merely a habit at this point to lie incessantly?”

 

“And what lie would that be,” L said, scratching his arm, “I'm not even sure which page we're on at the moment but clearly not the same one.”

 

“The death note isn't here,” Light said, his voice hitched, “Ryuuzaki snatched it up and carried it off to who knows where. Pretending that my treatment matters might have made sense when the task force was around to judge but-”

 

Light's eyes flashed angrily.

 

“I haven't forgotten the solitary confinement or getting my own father to deceive me. Don't pretend for my sake that any of this matters.”

 

For a while, they stared at each other. L's mouth twitched upward but it wasn't a smile.

 

“I see,” L said, “even after death Light-kun still has the capacity to act as a spoiled child.”

 

“A child,” Light said, his voice going hollow.

 

L leaned in, the light was getting dimmer. The day was fading into darkness once again, not that time really mattered to vampires, it was all relative. But Light didn't look like he was as spry in the temple as he had been wandering around Tokyo. His hair for one, was going white near the ends as if the colour were being stripped from it the longer he went without the Tokyo city lights. It hung limp and heavy around his face, having gone pin straight when denied its usual styling mousse. Light's face was more gaunt, pale and hollow looking. He was beginning to more closely resemble Reiji-sama and his starved appearance. Most markedly, his hands were covered in thick white bandages that bloomed ugly red blood flowers and his slim ankles were wrapped in iron shackles.

 

L creaked upright, “Generally speaking, I've never had anything against vampires. They were strange but far away, at least distant enough that they weren't a worry. Then a case came up – it had to do with a drug operation disguising itself as a religious cult, funnily enough, and they proved themselves difficult to endure.”

 

L rose to his feet, his head slanted to the left.

 

“Then you killed me,” L said, his eye holes staring at Light, “and now I have a lot more to say about vampires.”

 

Light laughed, ugly and high pitched, “this never would have happened if you had just let me have the death note in the first place. You dug your own grave, _now lie in it!_ ”

 

“Stop right there,” L said, all humour and bemused affectation had left his voice, “an imaginary hell was painted on the walls but this place might as well be the real thing. Absolute boredom. If you last a hundred years here without going insane, I'll be impressed. Light-kun will have earned my respect, no matter his past misgivings.”

 

Light's jaw tightened and his eyes took on that nasty, manic gleam that had come to represent everything to do with Kira and his limitless ambition.

 

“I'll escape,” Light hissed, “I'm already working on it.”

 

“You don't know anything,” L said dully, “about vampires, or their power. The last time I challenged them I barely escaped with my life and my resources were significantly greater than yours. Light-kun's intelligence is formidable, even if it's severely abused by your own inability to empathize with someone other than yourself but vampires are creatures that have lived thousands of years, their experiences are beyond what normal humans endure. Their intelligence is highly animal and unpredictable and already, I'm sure there are a thousand contingencies in motion if you should even step outside this place. Just like before. You'll make it a few miles before their cruel machinations will take you away.”

 

L dramatically flopped onto his backside and keeled over.

 

“At least Light-kun will have company,” L said.

 

Light clutched his hands to himself and L was startled by how raw the motion was, Light was losing his composure, as if he had become a spool of thread that was rapidly unwinding.

 

“Then,” Light said, standing shakily to his feet, “I'll have to adapt, no matter how repugnant.”

 

The beautiful red kimono that had been wrapped tightly around Light's form was loosened slightly by his bandaged hands. Light's eyes were wide and unseeing, as though he were revisiting some kind of trauma.

 

“I heard them talking about me,” Light said in a low voice, “I could seduce them to escape-!”

 

Sometimes when the sun rose high in the sky and the task force headquarters took on the peculiar lull that always came after long enough crunching data, the sun would hit Light just right and he would appear the most beautiful creature in the world. In the darkness of the shabby temple, with hardly any light at all, his ragged form still contained that wild beauty. Beyond the parted milk white thighs, L got an eye full from his low vantage point. He blinked at what he saw, a little perplexed and more than a bit turned on.

 

Red lace?

 

“What did Mikami do to you?” L said, smoothly setting his hands against the creamy thighs.

 

The kimono had parted just enough, L kept his hands from sliding a more forward distance at the hip but he stared into Light's face as Light stared back, all haughty defiance even though L could feel he was trembling slightly under his hands and looked like he was going to be physically ill at any moment.

 

L couldn't help but wonder if Light had died a virgin. He was still a child in so many ways; a young man who had never grown up.

 

Light let out a long, slow exhale; L could smell the blood on his breath.

 

“Even when I found you in the attic,” L said, “you were afraid to die. Is Mikami making you re-live the experience?”

 

Black, slick rivulets began to run down Light's face.

 

“I didn't mean to kill you,” Light said, stiffly, as though it was something wrenched from him.

 

_This isn't fun anymore_ , L thought despairingly, _it isn't a fight between equals. Mikami is ruining my suspect._

 

“Then what is it,” L pressed, “I trapped you in a surveillance room for months and you hardly even uttered a complaint. I can't imagine tears over being stuck in a sub-par Buddhist temple no matter how dull, or murdering the man who defied your ideals and defeated you.”

 

The bandaged hands slapped to his cheeks, Light sucked in a breath. The black stains bled across the white bandages like tiny oil slicks as they were wiped away.

 

“I wasn't crying,” Light said, “I wouldn't cry over someone like you.”

 

“What am I,” L said, curiously.

 

“A pervert,” Light spat.

 

“That's probably true,” L said, “I like the red.”

 

“Mikami-sama and Misa,” Light said with some distaste, “choose the clothes, it's her sick dress up I'm enduring.”

 

L smirked, “is it? Even underneath-”

 

“Shut up!” Light shrieked, “it's because of the blood! It's doing things to my head!”

 

Light let out a scream, his eyes went huge and unseeing.

 

L's became intrigued.

 

Hurled bodily by his own weight, Light had flung himself into a corner of the room. He trembled pitifully with his arms wrapped around his knees.

 

“...blood.”

 

“Blood?” L repeated, the holes in his face stretched wide and curious.

 

“Don't make me drink his blood!” Light said, his voice cracking.

 

“Light-kun,” L said, “I'm not in the position to make anyone do anything in this place.”

 

Stretching his neck, L shuffled his way over. He flopped down on the ground and put his head on his knees and observed Light's rigid body.

 

“What has Mikami-sama done,” L said.

 

He recalled Matsuda's attestation that blood from tea cups made him see pictures and there had been the scrolls and their ugly insinuations about the connection between Sue and other vampires.

 

“What did he make you do,” L said, curiosity burning his insides.

 

Light let out a sound that was more like a cry than a laugh, “he didn't make me do anything.”

 

The words were bitter and laced with an ineffable poison.

 

_Ah._

 

L understood. So he hadn't died a virgin...

 

How interesting.

 

“Vampires can seduce people,” L said, “that's their special power. He used it against you, that's all.”

 

Light shook his head and buried his forehead against his knees like a child, the shackles clinked loudly.

 

“...no that's not entirely true,” Light said, his voice barely above a whisper, “he showed me what I could do and then I did it, _willingly_.”

 

L stuck his thumb in his mouth and considered.

 

“There's nothing wrong with sleeping with another man,” L attempted.

 

“Of course you'd say that,” Light said, “you're a pervert. As bad as he is.”

 

“Would it have been better if Misa had been the one-”

 

“No.” Light hissed.

 

The sting of her attentions was likely still fresh in his mind.

 

“Then the vampire still seduced you,” L said, “their saliva is like a drug. Even if he was a man and you were completely, entirely, cloyingly straight you'd hardly have a chance against it. ”

 

“You don't understand,” Light said, petulantly.

 

It was rather unfortunate, L thought, that he did actually understand.

 

Someone that uptight about what other people did was exceptionally likely to be as uptight about their own actions because they felt there was something to be uptight about. But these things had a way of coming to the surface; the biggest moral scolds were often the worst perpetrators of the supposed vices they railed against. Desire in all its forms both good and bad had to go somewhere and that place was usually a seedy bar or a tryst in a bathroom stall and thankfully, much less often, a black book that could murder thousands when their names were written across crisp white pages.

 

Maybe, L considered, if he had been a bit smoother and more Light-kun's type, the whole messy affair could have been avoided by shagging it out of each other.

 

Ah, but that was pure fantasy.

 

At least, until they got out of their _jigoku_ style prison. L smirked and stuck his thumb against his lip.

 

“Don't sell yourself short,” L said, creeping closer to Light, “if you're going to seduce one of those nasty guards, at least consider my offer first.”

 

Light lifted his head from his knees and narrowed his eyes.

 

“Perhaps together we can get out of here,” L said, “I'm a prisoner too, And it doesn't have anything to do with the death note.”

 

“I heard them mention that you were rescued,” Light said.

 

“Yes,” L said, “and that rescuer gave me an ultimatum so I had to come here no matter what,” L said, “and now we're both stuck in this place until _Mikami-sama_ gets tired of his little games or kills me. I doubt he'd let you go so easily, not his hard won prize. Who knows what he'll do to you over the long centuries.”

 

“I can't believe you'd help me,” Light said, “considering what I know about you, it's just as likely you'd take the death note as soon as you found it and leave me here to rot as rightful punishment.”

 

“I do like justice,” L said, “but I also like other things.”

 

L leaned closer to Light until their foreheads touched.

 

“What are you doing,” Light's voice became icy cold and at once, charmingly familiar.

 

“All I'm asking for is repayment for all the troubles I've gone through,” L said, smirking, “don't you want to drink my blood again? It would be better than Mikami's.”

 

“I'd rather die of starvation,” Light said.

 

“Hmm,” L said, “how unfortunate. Let's work together anyway, for a kiss.”

 

“Disgusting,” Light said but his eyes widened as though they were also intrigued by the game L was suggesting.

 

“Hold still,” L directed him.

 

When their faces were very close, L whispered, “we're being watched.”

 

“I know,” Light said, barely audible, “I can sense it too.”

 

Looking up at Light while holding his face, L smirked at him. In a sudden gesture before Light had any chance to respond, L mashed their faces together and stuck his tongue aggressively in Light's mouth.

 

It was lovely, everything L had dreamed about.

 

But Light pulled away as fast as possible, making awful, choking sounds.

 

“Gross!” Light snapped, “Who the hell taught you to kiss? A lamprey?”

 

“I think I might have had more kisses during my life than Light had during his,” L said, “what did you think of it?”

 

“Eugh,” Light spat, rubbing his mouth with his long sleeve.

 

L licked his lips, chasing the last traces of Light's saliva away.

 

“We're both dead,” L said, “I guess anything can happen now.”

 

“What are you proposing, exactly,” Light said.

 

“I'm going to steal Light-kun away from the temple,” L said, his eye holes stretched wide.

 

In the big common room down the hall, the costumes and masks had been dragged out and the sake mixed with blood. Dispersed between their members, the temple employees had been delivered a party by their venerable leader, Mikami-sama, as a thank-you for all their hard work.

 

“Phew!” Takahashi said, taking a huge swig from a bottle, “drink up, Matsuda!”

 

“He looks like a light weight,” Higuchi said.

 

“Leave him alone,” Misa said, sharply, “at least he's not a lay about like some people I know!”

 

Matsuda knew this was a diversion, meant to occlude and dull his senses before something that they had planned for the end of the night.

 

“Haha!” Matsuda said, putting on his cheeriest face, “I'm not much of a drinker. A few glasses of this stuff and I'd be done for good!”

 

He drinks anyway. Even in moderation it makes his head spin but Misa is watching him to be sure he doesn't try anything funny. She's no L or Light but there's a distinct cleverness about her that Matsuda's cop instincts tell him isn't wise to overlook. Besides the fact she's an ancient vampire, she's also highly motivated by her devotion to her temple duties and Light himself.

 

“Where are you going?” she demanded when he excused himself.

 

“Bathroom,” Matsuda said, “too much to drink!”

 

The other vampires laughed uproariously.

 

“Just piss from that snooty guy's balcony,” Takahashi suggests, his cheeks were red from drinking, “I'm sure he wouldn't mind!”

 

“Ahaha,” Matsuda said meekly, “sure, if I wanted to end up in swimming in the ocean.”

 

The other men laughed loudly and drank more sake, while Matsuda slunk off into the shadowy hallway alone. He stumbled loudly for a few steps then ducked into a disordered storage room. Frowning to himself, he noticed something from a shadowy corner glimmer like eyes. Very quickly, in a matter of moments, Matsuda felt a cold hand clamp over his mouth and his whole body felt like it had unnaturally shifted into filmy shadows.

 

“Shh,” the voice whispered in his ear.

 

In the strange, liquid darkness Matsuda could see Mikami through the open shoji door, slowly walking down the hallway as though looking for someone. In a sudden, grotesque move Mikami's back bent over, his jaw unhinged and his hands became long, slender claws.

 

Matsuda screamed behind the clamped hand but the monster Mikami took no notice. It looked around with large, red gelatinous eyes as though hunting for something and then, when whatever it was hadn't appeared from the shadowy corners, Mikami restored himself to his usual form.

 

“Do you know how ancients kill young vampires?” the voice asked him, quietly, barely above a whisper.

 

Matsuda convulsed behind the hand, a desperate, cold sweat breaking out on his skin.

 

“They devour them,” the voice said, “after ripping them into pieces. It's the only way to be sure. Mikami-sama was on his way to finish you off after the drinking party.”

 

Several of the other vampires from the drinking room had stumbled out. Although bleary eyed and sluggish, they too unhinged their mouths and extended their claws. After some moments, they returned to their normal forms.

 

“He's not here,” Higuchi said.

 

“Trust me,” Ooi said, “he's an idiot. He's around here somewhere, he wouldn't have gone far. Probably fell down into the sewer from the bath.”

 

They both crept away, far down the lower hallway and towards the kitchen.

 

The hand let Matsuda go and he practically fell onto the floor with a loud thud. The shadowy film seemed to hold strong, no one noticed the noise.

 

“Reiji-sama,” Matsuda gasped out, as he trembled all over.

 

“I can't have my representatives dying on me,” Reiji said, his voice flat and cold, “not yet, anyway.”

 

“They're going to try and kill L,” Matsuda said, “the blood they're giving him it's-”

 

“I know,” Reiji-sama said, a little too calmly for Matsuda's liking, “that's not important right now.”

 

“Not important-!” Matsuda started.

 

“We're going to deliver this,” Reiji said, “into the hands of Kira-chan.”

 

The death note was pulled out from inside his kimono.

 

“With the help of a shinigami.”

 


	21. The Second Victim

The Second Victim XXI

 

The death note in all its terrifying glory was presented to Matsuda, held carefully by Reiji's cloth covered hand. It was the same shape and size with the white letters scrawled across the front as if written by the thin claw of a shinigami. There was only a slight difference from the last time Matsuda had seen one.

 

“Why is it blue?” Matsuda said, his voice hollow and aching.

 

So many of his colleagues had risked their lives for that notebook and so many had been killed trying to keep it out of Light's hands, handing it over seemed like a huge waste.

 

“I believe it has to do with Kira's curse,” Reiji said, “his attachment to it is so strong, it's affected its supernatural capabilities.”

 

“Does that mean he can use it?” Matsuda asked, panic choking his throat.

 

“It's impossible for a vampire to kill anyone using the death note,” Reiji said, “but what other abilities it might have at this point, I really can't say. This has never happened in recorded knowledge, that a sue has attached itself so firmly to a shinigami's book it has changed the supernatural foundation of its existence.”

 

“We can't give it back,” Matsuda said, “not after what the task force went through.”

 

“Let me tell you a story,” Reiji said, “about the fourth sue who lived in this temple. His name should sound familiar. Amane.”

 

“Amane Misa,” Matsuda said.

 

“Yes,” Reiji said, “They were married when they were both mortal but she took his first name as her family name after...”

 

Reiji smiled, it wasn't a very pleasant sight.

 

“Our story begins long ago in ancient Japan, a place that would seem as alien to the modern Japanese as the moon itself,” Reiji said, “plague, starvation and war hovered over our lives to such a degree that our deaths were as certain as the sun rising. Vampires were considered cruel not because they ate human beings but because they prolonged suffering and stole our spirits from the afterlife. Amane was a simple villager who was bitten and made a vampire by a man who found him very beautiful. After he rose from the dead, he was abandoned. Unfortunately, he was also a sue and caused disaster for his living family.”

 

“Amane loved his living family and tried to protect them. He had no idea his very presence was responsible for the disasters that ended their lives. Misa died by his hand when she tried to protect him and became a vampire herself. When the elder vampires finally came for him, the whole village was destroyed. He went into the mountains willingly at first, to try and put things right but the cult that lived there were early experimenters. They relished having a new sue to try out their techniques. His experiences twisted him until he became a monster so inhuman the cult was forced to put him out of his misery. His death opened a gateway into hell but fortunately, it was quickly shut when the ancient vampire who made him returned and sacrificed himself to close it. If that hadn't happened, who knows what would have occurred.”

 

“Misa must have been a witness,” Matsuda said.

 

“She was, along with Mikami-sama. You could say it was a twisted bonding experience. Seeing that gate turned Misa's hair white and irrevocably changed her,” Reiji said, “and ever after, Mikami-sama was a deranged zealot, obsessed with seeing hell once more.”

 

“He's pretty organized for someone out of his head,” Matsuda said.

 

“He's also had three thousand years to temper his madness into something more useful,” Reiji said, his tone bitter, “I remember him when he wasn't so shrewd, it wasn't a pretty sight. This is what Mikami-sama is trying to recreate, an inhuman monster so out of control that demons from hell rise up from the earth to save him. A man with no regrets except selfishness, a boy without a heart who possesses a soul only a devil could love.”

 

“The inhuman monster part might be easier than anticipated,” Matsuda said, uneasily, recalling Light's time as Kira.

 

But Matsuda had to be honest with himself, there was some humanity in Light, the chief's beloved son. He had always thought it to be true even when he had watched Light die knowing he was guilty without question.

 

“Give Light the death note and when he opens it, he'll have every reason to regret it,” Reiji said, “and my friend will help Misa secure protection from Mikami-sama.”

 

“Friend?” Matsuda said.

 

As he spoke he saw it coming out from the wall.

 

“What is-,” Matsuda began to tremble, he knew what it was.

 

“Gelus,” Reiji said, “this is Misa's new student.”

 

“He can see shinigami without a note,” Gelus said, his chubby legs wobbling towards Matsuda curiously, “haniwa vampires are so strange, their powers are so unpredictable. _Matsuda Touta_ hmm, how interesting! Nice to meet you!”

 

The chubby baby that looked like parts of children stitched together let out a laugh that was disturbingly like an infant's raucous giggle.

 

Matsuda stared, “n-nice to meet you,” he managed in return.

 

“This is Misa's very close friend,” Reiji said, “he's going to help us once we return the death note to Kira.”

 

“There's a lot of noise about this in the shinigami world,” Gelus said, “Ryuuk and Sidou are probably here already scrambling to get their hands on it. And that boy- I've heard about him. Is he as awful as he sounds?”

 

“He's a human being,” Matsuda snapped, then realized his error, “he was a human being. Just like anyone else, he was arrogant but not monstrous. In fact, he thought he was saving the world not ruining it.”

 

“Humans are so wonderful,” Gelus said, “I love watching them but that boy, once I started watching him it was sad how unhappy he was.”

 

Matsuda felt a cold shiver move through his own dead flesh. It was something that had echoed in his own thoughts before. Light did such awful things because he was miserable, his strict ideologies were a masquerade for simple, human discontent. Or perhaps, Matsuda thought bitterly, that was what he thought because it made Light seem more human than his actions had ever allowed once he had discovered the truth.

 

No, there was a truth there. His cop instincts were still mostly correct after years of working through cases with similarly motivated, bored young men from good families. Fortunately, they had been much easier to catch and none of them had access to a death note.

 

“Is this going to help him?” Matsuda said.

 

“Oh, yes,” Reiji said, his stone simulacrum barely moving.

 

Matsuda felt uneasy but there wasn't anything else he could do. He would try. And anyway, he knew what L's team had set up for the vampires, even if Reiji's plan failed there was still a chance...

 

Time was like sand that slipped through Light's fingers. The moments he had been alive seemed like a dream and the sure death that had awaited him was a terrible nightmare. Light clutched in on himself, his thoughts spun and whirled through his head like a confused spiral. There was nothing to grasp, no ideals to hold onto. Everything he had done had lead to this moment and now, it was so anti-climactic as to be laughable.

 

“I'm giving it back,” Matsuda said, “so take it.”

 

The light that slipped in the open shoji doors illuminated Matsuda's wrists and arms holding something Light had never thought he'd see again. But it was past the point it could be of use to him, not worth the pain it would cause him to hold it and never be able to do what he wished with its crisp white pages.

 

“I don't want it,” Light's own voice sounded hollow to his ears, “give it back to the shinigami.”

 

Matsuda made a noise that sounded like an air raid siren.

 

“Shut up, Matsuda!” Light snapped, raising his head.

 

Flopping back onto the wretched futon he laid prostrate in a heap, his hands stinging terribly and his eyes aching from tears that threatened to spill. And why shouldn't he cry? The God of the New World had crumbled, his ideals were nothing but dust and no one had believed in them in the end but himself.

 

“After all that,” Matsuda's voice was shaking, “and everything you did to get this stupid notebook-”

 

“Stop talking, Matsuda, “ Light spat, “You're an idiot, you've always been an idiot. Didn't you ever overhear the other officers talk? Idiot Matsuda and his bumbling tendencies, always barging in to offer useless advice when he wasn't wanted- _they mocked you!_ ”

 

Light heaved himself upright, his body felt so heavy from lethargy and despair. But it was like water, what it had once tasted like. Refreshing to spit out everything he had been holding back for so many years.

 

“Did you think anyone ever respected you? Your useless opinions? Even on the Kira case they put you there because your only notable attribute was trustworthiness. You were too damn stupid to do anything dubious. It had nothing to do with skill!”

 

Matsuda looked like he was shaking, just a bit like a fallen leaf in a gentle fall breeze. Light let his face split from the handsome facsimile into Kira's ugly smile.

 

“And what do you think they'll say about you now that you're dead?” Light said, smirking, “Noble Matsuda, who gave his life to the Kira case. Too bad about how much of an idiot he was-”

 

The trembling reached a pitch and then ceased, Matsuda smiled just a little.

 

“I might be an idiot,” Matsuda said, “but you're a pitiful child in a man's body.”

 

Idiot Matsuda, he never saw anything even when it was staring him in the face.

 

“Does it make you feel better,” Light said, “pretending I ever felt anything but joy writing in that notebook?”

 

“I have a pretty good idea what you felt,” Matsuda said, “you were _-bored_. That's what happens when spoiled kids get a hold of something they shouldn't have. If it's guns or drugs or anything else they can't bear to turn it in. Their parents treated them well, society treated them well but they're just sad and desperate for anything that makes them feel alive. And they do terrible things to feel that way! Just like you, these children do awful things to their families and themselves trying to fill a hole inside their hearts that can't be fixed. You're not special, you're just like the rest! I was stupid! Stupid to think you were anything but a spoiled brat!”

 

Light laughed at him, mocking and ugly, “compared to your sad, pitiful existence, my life was perfection!”

 

“And it was empty,” Matsuda said, his teeth clenched, “to the point you killed thousands to try and make it worth something. Don't you get it? People who love themselves don't hurt like that.”

 

“So the criminals are the real victims,” Light said, “how cute. ”

 

“Mercy is something that's impossible for you to understand. A basic human emotion,” Matsuda said, “of course I feel bad for you.”

 

_Moron._

 

“I was trying to make the world a better place,” Light said.

 

“You were trying to make a hollow, empty life worth something,” Matsuda corrected, “and it doesn't take a world famous detective to see right through all that crap. Even when you were working with the chief and L, it was like- like-watching a performance!”

 

Matsuda took in a deep, shuddering breath.

 

“I knew something was wrong with you but I couldn't figure out what, something was off! Because you didn't smile, not really. And even when you were talking to your father, it was as if you were going through the motions. I thought _maybe he's depressed_ but that wasn't it. You loved your family and you'd have killed them without a second thought if they had gotten in your way. Just like a child! You'd have cried about it after but felt nothing over doing it.”

 

_Idiot!_

 

“Kira was- _Kira is a child!_ ”

 

“Are you finished yet,” Light said, coldly.

 

“Matsuda has made many good points,” L said, “perhaps it would do Light-kun some good to listen closely.”

 

“Ha!” Matsuda said.

 

The sliding door had been open and L had crept in barefoot while they had been snapping at one another, quiet as a mouse.

 

“Misa is arguing for your survival, Matsuda,” L said flatly, “but I'd still keep it down. The walls are thin and I think ancient vampires have pretty good hearing. She is very irritated Mikami tried to put an end to your life early. I'm a little perplexed as to the reasoning behind his sudden attack, perhaps Matsuda knows more about certain subjects than he thinks?”

 

“Mikami was going to kill Matsuda?” Light said.

 

Smoothly, L lifted the death note from Matsuda's hands.

 

“That's mine!” Light shouted, before he could help himself.

 

It was acceptable for the death note to be in the hands of an idiot but not in the hands of his greatest enemy.

 

“Light-kun didn't want it before,” L said, “so maybe I'll just take it-”

 

L held the death note just out of reach as Light made a wild grab for it, he couldn't quite reach it limited by the chains around his feet and his injured hands. L continued to read until he was finished and then dropped the death note unceremoniously on the floor.

 

“Perhaps Light-kun will want it more badly after he has read what's inside,” L said.

 

“Give it to me!” Light snapped.

 

Light lunged for it and gathered it close to his chest.

 

Trembling Light opened the book that had been so precious to him. The first page was covered in a spidery, old fashioned scrawl and written down were truths that had been eluding Light for some time. Terrible, horrible revelations.

 

Matsuda let out a shocked cry, “look at his face!”

 

L put his thumb in his mouth and tried not to bite.

 

“I find it interesting that Matsuda can see the changes in Light-kun's mood more rapidly than Light-kun himself,” L said, “and ones that I can't see at all.”

 

“I can see shinigami too,” Matsuda said faintly, “without touching their notes.”

 

“Huh,” L said, “that's curious.”

 

Matsuda swallowed, pointing, “and there's one right there!”

 

_Hyuk hyuk hyuk!_

 

“Sorry buddy, I need this back,” Ryuuk's voice was very much unwelcome.

 

Light let out a blood curdling scream as the shinigami snatched the note from his hands.

 

“If your location was secret before, it's certainly not now,” L said deadpan to Matsuda, “it may be prudent to run towards the tunnels until Misa has secured your safety.”

 

Matsuda took off without a second of hesitation and made his way rapidly down the stairs. Banging and shouting was heard in the other rooms. Light violently struggled to tear the note from Ryuuk's hands but his wings flapped and he was lifting from the ground and heading towards the open mountain window.

 

Despite having a writhing, screaming passenger, Ryuuk seemed to have no trouble getting himself out the window and into the open air. Light had changed his attempts at dislodging Ryuuk's hold over the death note to clinging for dear life over a very steep, very dark drop.

 

“Interesting,” L said.

 

L had been unable to see Ryuuk but suddenly, he wasn't able to see Light either. What it meant was as perplexing as watching it happen. He stuck his thumb in his mouth and considered the propitious chain of events. He may have temporarily lost his suspect but Light was out of the temple, L's team could finally make their move. And thanks to what was written in the death note, he had solved Mikami's riddle.

 

The game had finally swung around back into L's favour.

 

Except for the evil spirit lurking in the darkened corner of the shoji room, waiting eagerly for the coming events to unfold.

 

_Oh L, it's the moment you think you've won that you've lost the most._

 

 


	22. Forbidden Scroll II

_Forbidden Scroll II_

 

_**Amane's Diary** _

 

_Even when I want to be good, I'm bad. When I try to be kind, I am cruel. There is no mercy left inside my spirit but only desire and longing for the impossible. I want to live again. I want human life!_

 

_I am a sue. Therefore, without question, I am evil._

 

_I can have nothing of my own in this place, only my thoughts. I have seen hell, I have met demons. I know where I'm going when I die and I'm prepared to face it and it would be a welcome respite from this terrible prison. There are some things however, that I do find comforting..._

 

_The fiends that we are, the sue, are not born the moment we die. We were made through a life half lived. Though many would say I lived a virtuous and decent life as a human being, inside I was as evil as the worst criminal. I judged everyone with such harshness, no one could ever hope to meet my expectations. I destroyed my wife's spirit, until she was dead inside before I had even delivered the killing blow as a vampire. My friends were convenient and placating, my position of power came through birth right. I managed our little village justly but with a hardened heart, I was needlessly cruel._

 

_I suppose it's only natural that I ended up as miserable and alone as I am now. But yet, I'm not really alone anymore..._

 

_They bring them to me sometimes, the evil ones. Unclean spirits. They are my only true friends in this pit, this hell before true hell. I hear their cries and I wish I could help them beyond simply suffering for their sins and easing their transition to their next life..._

 

_Without my scholarly servant, my brain would have atrophied from boredom long ago. I know that_ he _is responsible for finding my once living friend for me, an attempt at forgiveness after the village disaster. The priests drove_ him _away, saying he's caused enough trouble. I know who is responsible for them finding out, too. My wife sometimes shows peculiar cleverness, I've told my servant to keep an eye on her. She's smarter than she seems..._

 

_...the servant has told me there may be a way. Though it is cruel and ultimately tortuous...I want to help my only friends in this lonely place. I don't care about other vampires, they are as empty and hollow as I am. And the ancients are intolerably distant, even my sham husband refuses to touch me._

 

_She is an ancient who has lived thousand of years but she's a coward, she's afraid of the devils in hell even when she knows our marriage protects her. I need her touch and her blood and she denies me them both until I'm shaking from weakness. How dare she...if she only knew what I was before, what I could have done in the name of justice..._

 

_...There was a further discussion with the rest of the temple. The 'experiment' has been approved, the unclean spirit has agreed to the procedure._

 

_And my servant will bring me the fledgling vampire we will sacrifice to make it possible._

 

 


End file.
